hurts after hurts *

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Tuesday,
dint go tuh sch. woke up at 11plus bahs. then went tuh meet Sher & Jonas at 2plus at Eunos mrt. then we went tuh Tampines One , my workplace tuh eat cakes. ^^ ate th marble cheesecake. nice lahs. alot of cheese. hahahahas. then ate th ice cream :D yummy. after that we went tuh shop for Bday presents for Aephix and Xiwen. then went tuh find Jo , Chris , they all at Tam mrt. then went tuh slack at starbucks there while waiting for katherine tuh come. after that ,slacked till 630 PM then Sher , me and Jonas gotta go off first lerhs , cos we have tuh rush down tuh ECP for both Aephix and Xiwen derhs bday. saw my bear and we hugged. love her mans. LOL. then stay at her pit for awhile , then meibao and xiaoru came. then tgt slack and toktok luhs. after that , we went tuh Xiwen pit. went there tuh eat , and toktok abt ... someone. LOL. then Sher tok abt me and my ex derhs WONDERFUL LIFE, and fuck , made me so paiseh ! infront of so many ppl lehs. cos at that point of time , got me , Jiayuan , Geraldine , Jonas , Meibao , Xiaoru , & Sher mahs. so paiseh luhs.
Sher , you lucky i never say abt you and Ray derhs thing hor ! better dont give me th chance tuh mans. i wil make sure you regret derhs ! heh heh heh. LOL. but , must really thank you. for making me strong and back tuh my usual strong self. i wont let you disappointed derhs. this time , i mean what i say, and i wont just say , i will DO IT ! wo bu hui zai xin ruan lerhs. NEVER !
then we went back home at 8plus. so tired mans. so many ppl derhs bday. then went home tuh eat lerhs , jiu go bath then tok tuh Sher on th phone till 12+ midnight. hahahahah. msg cindy & asked her for th $2 back in 3 days. hahahas. then this and that lahs, nonsense lahs. LOL. then went tuh slp at 1plus , after msging Jean. Hahahas.

Today ,
went tuh sch as usual. then ended sch at 1245PM. hahas. throughout my maths class, i havent been listening , just slacking with my classmates & tok cock. then msgmsg with Jean also. sent her a very longggg and clearrrr msg. if not she may mistaken me further. LOL. she tot i couldnt let go of Cindy. LOL? what a joke ! and she say i went ard telling ppl that Cindy hurt me. LOL. my choice what , and what i told ppl are REAL FACTS that happened. i dare tuh tell ppl , i dare tuh let ppl noe is i say want. why? any prob , call me straight. i will play along , whoever and whatever you are. sry tuh say , im now someone who wont heartsoft anymore and i mean it. try me , test me , UP TO YOU ! :DDDDD after sch , went tuh lan shop and now , im in th lan shop. sians. Zzz. later still need tuh go work. LOL. take care peeps.

**i dont need tuh hear any shit of why you treated me bad , or whether you cry or not , or why you cry , why you stress , cos tuh me now, it DOESNT MATTER ! and im th least bothered also. not interested tuh noe th reason why and all. so , dont bother tuh tell me yeahs? dont bother. dont bother tuh tell me all those thing that you noe i dont wish tuh noe. hope im being clear enough right here and right now. take care. **

SCREAMED at Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Monday, October 26, 2009

Sat ,
Worked till 10plus. then went tuh eat at Tam with 6 of my colleagues; Nikie , Anna , Aqiem , Zana , Shikin and Matthew. All malay except for me and Matthew. hahas. aft that , we walked tuh 201 tehre derhs mac , cos Nikie wanna eat mac. eat & eat & eat only. Dots. LOL.but i never eat lahs. then Anna feed me with fries, so i eat luhs. so sweet of her hor? LOL. then aft that my mom came tuh fetch me at abt 2am. she KP me again. sians Zzz~ go home and bath lerhs , jiu slp lerhs luhs.

Sun ,
KQ dint come out. called her mom , and her mom told me that she cant make it tuh bring her out for her HL. SIAN ~ then went tuh AMK HUB and eat Mac. wahs , eat till very full siahs. LOL. then aft that , went tuh SGH and sent Shi Luan back in. :D aft that , went tuh find Jonas and Cindy at Jonas house. then , we went tuh buy Carlsberg. Jonas bought 4 cans + 1 Vodka , while me , i bought 6 cans of Carlsberg. :DD then we drank at her house nearby luhs. Cindy never drink , so she was th most sober one down there. LOL. my kick came at th 4th can. then i went tuh buy another 4 cans , 2 for Jonas , 2 for myself. i cant really rmb everything i did , but abit here and there bahs. i noe , that i cried until very jialat, that i told Cindy smth abt 1 night stand ( cant really recall lerhs ) , i played with th water , & i knocked down one of th beer cans , i cut my hand ( dont noe from where ) and i lied down flat there. th rest i dont really rmb lerhs. then Jonas wake me up , and asked me tuh go home. then i walk tuh th bus stop, but otw tuh th bus stop , i merlion until very jialat , kena my jeans also. =.= then reached th bus stop , i took pic of my dirtied jeans. LOL! took th bus 14 home. then i overslept in th bus till interchange. reached bedok inter lerhs , i took 17 back and again , i overslept till tam there. Zzz. too seh and drunk lerhs. This time , i admit , i was really really really very seh. in my whole life time , i have never been this seh before. ytd was my FIRST & i hope will be th ONLY time bahs. then reached tam lerhs, i took cab home lerhs luhs. no strength tuh take bus lerhs. reached home at abt 12+ AM , then went tuh wash up my jeans , and bath lerhs , jiu K.O TOTALLY lerhs.

Ytd , i was very very very depressed , and i needed someone there for me , need someone there tuh take care of me , tuh wipe away my tears, tuh care abt me , BUT , where were you??? you were infront of me , witnessing my nonsense , watching me cry , seeing me doing everything. yeahs , you are just there tuh SEE ONLY. i showed you my weakest side , when i was in th process of FA JIU FENG. but all you did was , SEE ! whenever you were on your darkest times , i always try my best tuh be there for you , tuh take care of you , tuh help you , etc. but when i was in that state ytd , even if its inconvenient for you tuh send me home , you dint even bother tuh send me tuh th bus stop. you just see me walk tuh th bus stop ON MY OWN. Jonas was also drunk , so i understand that she cant send me tuh th bus stop. but i believe , i was worst than her ytd. Put as an example lahs ok, IF , jonas was in my state ytd , what would you do? i guess you would be very DIFFERENT towards her bahs. im sure you WONT sit there and do nothing like how you did ytd. i can rmb that i went after you , but you just ran away from me , & you pushed me away. you are so cruel, really very cruel. i was in that state and you still can push me away? yeahs , i noe , my actions ytd may scare & freak you out ytd , but you gotta noe , i was drunk , very very drunk. i guess you can tell that also. where have all your feelings gone tuh? idk , and i have been wanting tuh noe. you noe , ytd when i was in th cab home , i told th driver that im sry becos i drank alot , and vomited thats why im so smelly. then you noe what he asked me? " then why your frens dint send you home lehs? " and i went , silent. i also dont noe lehs. when i was at my lowest time of life, no one was with me, no one stand by me. i was , ALL ALONE, and no one even care abt me. NOT EVEN YOU ! even just as a fren , you WEREN'T there. so what am i tuh you ? worst than a fren? haish. really very disappointed. very very disappointed. T.T you can be so caring towards Jonas , and all , when you just noe her for less than 2 months , but towards me , you are just so COLD , and heartless. im utterly disappointed. seriously , i am.

Today ,
went tuh sch at per normal. but th hangover was very jialat. had headache and body ache. very tired and sleepy in class. sch ended at 1245 PM , then went tuh Parkway tuh meet Jonas and Cindy , again. Jonas was very sad , i can see. tried tuh cheer her up lerhs , but i tink , there is nth i can do. me and her seemed tuh drift away lerhs. D: haish, what can i say? COMPLICATED. then we went tuh foodcourt eat , i alone eat. ate chicken rice :D then we went walkwalk ard PP. Cindy had no cash with her , so i lent her $2 tuh buy drink. actually , i dont expect her tuh return me that $2 lahs. its okay derhs lahs. if i really so stingy , i wouldnt have spent so much money on her lerhs. so this $2 is okay derhs lahs. went home at 4plusPM. then went tuh eat with my Dad. he asked me tuh help him drink finish his remaining Carlsberg. shocked tuh hear that. then i drink luhs , left abt half bottle only mahs. but drink till very bloated lerhs. feel like vomiting again. i tink th hangover is still there , i still feel abit FAN WEI. then now im here lerhs. blogging everything i feel now. gtg lerhs. take care peeps.

Today i met her , and i tried tuh put up a strong front in front of her. i acted as if nothing happened. abit awkward also lahs. LOL. I tried tuh be strong , but you just made me weak inside. Today i see you so caring towards "him" , trying tuh cheer "him" up , take care of "him" , & think for "him", i cant deny , i felt one kind. i just dint like it. i noe "he" is your fren , who you treasure , but who am i tuh you , compared tuh "him"? worst than a fren bahs i guess. i just felt so heartpain & disappointed. maybe , you are trying tuh be cruel tuh me , tuh make me hate you , so that i wont have tuh suffer like how i am now. but , all along , you have been treating me this way. just that i dint say out. just what is happening.

~Ni zhen me neng zhe me ren xin kan wo liu lei , que yi dian dou bu zai hu? Ni zhen me she de wo nan guo , zai wo zui xu yao ni derhs shi hou, ni que mei you shuo yi ju hua jiu zhou. wo wei ni fu chu lerhs zhe me duo , ni que mei you gan dong guo. ~
WHY HAVE YOU BEEN SO CRUEL???!!!

SCREAMED at Monday, October 26, 2009

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Thurs ,
Dint go tuh sch. went tuh see doc, & found out smth that is expected. Doc say that i have chest infection. but normally chest infection wont make me feel breathless and have cold sweat derhs. so not cfm yet. must go and take x-ray again tuh check out my chest. scary siahs. haish. th doc derhs words just kept on ringing in my mind. D: haish. whats happening? i really wan tuh noe whats wrong with my body. just whats wrong ?!?! but at th same time , im afraid tuh noe too. DD: idk lahs , i just feel so... outcast? haish. maybe , i really am bahs. chatted wit jonas & wyn till 12plus midnight , then went tuh slp lerhs.

Friday ,
woke up at 6AM. then call jonas but she never pick up. then went tuh bath , and left house at 6+. bused tuh jonas house , becos she never pick up my call, so i wanted tuh go her house and wake her up. knocked her hse door till very loud & shouted for her, but she just cant hear. instead , her neighbour came out and see what happen. LOL? so angrily , i left her house. then bused tuh Lavender , ALONE ! trained down tuh Cck tuh find wyn , ALONE again ! bought rice tuh wyn house and eat. then left wyn house at abt 10+ AM. trained and bused down tuh marine parade tuh find Jo & Chris. pei them go play bball till 4PM, then bused back home tuh bath.then , rushed tuh work lerhs. ended work at 10plusPM , gg tuh 11PM. slack with my colleague , Anna , at Tam Mall. talked , slacked , drink. me and her suddenly become very close. LOL. she told me abt her ex bung who hurt her , while i told her abt mine. some kinda relating my probs tuh her bahs , and vice versa. idk why , me and her just can get along so fast. LOL. next time shall take pic with her and post here bahs. :DD Anna drank till she was quite MABOK . then i cabbed home with her luhs. reached her house there abt 12+midnight lerhs. then i sent her tuh her house derhs lift. cos so late lerhs , then she alone girl , some more so MABOK , so better make sure that she reach home safely :D
Eh babi , kau ni weak ah. sikit2 pon mabok. Lol. luckily i not pervert or sakit kuat , if not i rape you already siahs. LOL. your pantat so flat , see also sian ahs ! HAHAHA ! jking lahs. :D
then frm her house , i slowly walk home luhs. reached home at ant 1230AM. then went tuh bath & Zzz. :D

Today ,
Woke up at 10 plusAM. overslept lerhs , actually today need tuh report back tuh sch derhs, but i overslept , so dint go. ate breakfast & here i am. later gonna go work again at 2PM lerhs. im running out of time liaos. so , shall blog off now lerhs. take care peeps.

SCREAMED at Saturday, October 24, 2009

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Sunday ,

met Cindy at phoenix mrt station. then we went tuh jurong point tuh buy her things. wth , she see 1 shop then go in see. wahs , you noe jurong point how many shops mahs? imagine how many shops i have tuh go in? Zzz lo. then i gollow her go Pepper Lunch eat. then went tuh buy subway for ahwyn & jonas , jiu head tuh meet them lerhs. then we slacked at wyn house , till 3plusPM then i head back home lerhs. reached home at abt 5 plus. then went tuh change lerhs , jiu rushed down tuh work lerhs. worked till 10plus PM , then pei my colleague ShaSha slack at tam. she wanna wait for her fren tuh come and fetch her. so i pei her till 12midnight , then i rush for my last bus home lerhs. reached home at abt 12plus luhs. TIRED !!! then went tuh bath then slp lerhs.

Monday ,

went tuh meet jonas at aljunied mrt platform at 7plus. then tgt we trained down tuh ahwyn's house. then we slacked , & they do whatever they wanted , romance and all. hahahah ! while i at there be gooseberry. LOL ! Sorry wor ! xD then slacked and talked tuh wyn's mom till 3plus . then me and Cindy trained down tuh Lot One walk walk. then went tuh her grandpa house sitsit awhile jiu go home lerhs. reached home at abt 6plus. then pei my dad sitsit at th coffeeshop till 8plus jiu go back lerhs. bathed lerhs , toked tuh Cindy on th phone. wahs , i very sot her siahs. WTH =.= nvm , shan't say much at here. just very sot , yes very very sot ! Dx rang wo kong huan xi yi chang )): then slept at 11plus PM. wahs , really very very very very very tired luhs !!! arghs ~!
~out of a sudden , i just found her so hong. haish. ~

Tuesday ,

woke up at 6:21AM. then still have tuh wait for my bro tuh finish bathing , then can bath. so too late lerhs , i dint go sch. hahahahas. went back tuh slp :D Zzz~ then woke up again at 12noon. hahas. still tired though =X then ate mom cook derhs porridge :D bath & went tuh bedok inter tuh buy smth , then back home again. after that , trained down tuh CCK ALONE ! wahs , how sian lahs ! went tuh Cindy house sitsit awhile , then we tgt go Lot One , AGAIN ! Zzz. Cindy wanna buy her things. then we trained down tuh wyn house. slacked at wyn house while Cindy was dyeing her UNSUCCESSFUL hair. LOL! Lousy siahs. Hahahahhahas. Useless$20 hair dye dint eat in her hair. LOL. Jonas helped her cye. so gd hor. what a nice Buatoh i have. Very sot her lahs actually , but we talked things out lerhs , so now okays lerhs. :)))

Buatoh , i hope you will think over what i have said , & if my words have been a little too harsh , i'm Sorry. cos i was really very angry. anw , paiseh lahs.

Then me and Cindy left wyn hse at 8plus. Cindy trained home & so did i. reached home at 9plusPM. mom came back and me and my mom had a BIGBIG fight , ever ! shit derhs luhs. she kp nevermind lehs , still wanna use violence on me siahs ! wth ! damn fucking angry and shouted at her. but i never hit back lahs. just had struggle with her , and was quite violent towards her back. ended up , my face , gone case. dont noe why , or when , my face got her fingernail scratched derhs scar. WTH ! face lehs ! wahs , sot siahs. this morning then realise derhs. so went tuh put on a plaster luhs. hopefully by tmr can go off bahs. haish. then after th LONG and HUGE fight , we both ended up in tears. =.= then bath and slp lerhs. too tired tuh carry on.

Today ,

woke up at 6AM , as per normal. bathed and trained down tuh find Cindy at Cck. then went tuh her house there derhs coffeeshop eat prata with her, as our breakfast. Hahas:D then went ard her neighbourhood tuh slack , so sian lahs cans ! wth. went tuh slack at th playgrd and played swing. hahahahas ! childish rights? not me, its her intention ! xP then went tuh her hse downstairs and slack again. well , time with her just passed so fast ! then she went up tuh change , and i was left alone there. so sians , then i vandalised th wall , and th chair. hahahs ! just being bored out of a sudden. hahahahas. then she came down , changed and ready tuh go and fetch her cousin from sch. so we walked and bused down tuh Unity Sec tuh wait for her cousin. then tgt me , Cindy and her cousin bused down tuh her cousin hse. th 3 of us , went in her cousin rm. and she and her cousin was busy playing com , while , me , doing nth , just lying down there and watch them play luhs. siansss ~ then head back home at abt 4plus. When i was climbing up th stairs tuh take LRT back tuh CCK mrt , i suddenly felt so breathless, and was panting , worst than how a dog pant. coughing like hell , was having alot of cold sweat, sweat till my whole shirt also wet wet derhs.. and just , idk , but i noe there is a big prob with my body, my lungs. then a aunt saw me coughing till so jialat and so out of breathe , she kept looking at me , scared i would faint? LOL. i so strong , wont faint derhs lahs. reached home at 6plus and chatted with Cindy online. webcam somemore ! hahahahas. well , finally , i told her what i always wanted tuh tell her. but not everything lahs. basically just those things that came tuh my mind at that point of time.

basically , today i was just like Coughing and Coughing and Coughing , Breathless & Breathless & Breathless. i noe for sure , there is a serious prob with my heart , body , or lungs? either one or smth like that. that time derhs heart test result , i still haven go back tuh my doctor there and ask. dont dare tuh ask too. suddenly i just felt so scared , really very scared. but i noe , tmr , i will and have tuh go back tuh see th doctor again. hopefully nothing goes wrong bahs. suddenly , everything is just so scary. im afraid , for once , im afraid... really very afraid that , i cant take care of her anymore, cant see her anymore. i really really dont wan this tuh happen. i dont want ! i dont want tuh leave her, i noe she needed someone. Pls , i really hope tmr everything will be fine. haish.

Today i met her , in fact spent th whole day with her. & i noe for sure , that i still love her. at times i just wished that she would be th last time SWEET her , that she claimed that she used tuh be. maybe , if i have known th last time SWEET her , i wouldnt have suffered from all those hurts that i have been suffering all along bahs. i just hate it , th fact that i have fallen for now derhs her , a BIAO MIAN SHANG so COLD and CRUEL derhs Cindy. haish. How i wished , that i could fell th sweetness that i have longed tuh fell all along. haish. but just too bad , she isn't th sweet her that she was anymore. For now , i just hope that if ever , i cant be there tuh take care of her anymore , she will learn tuh be more independent , more self-loved , more wise in spending money , & open up her big eyes and see who is th TRUE ONES who treat her good , GENUINELY. i dont wanna say much , or judge anything, just hope that she could see for herself. Girl , you must be strong , and take care of yourself okays? I always love you , and I will always do. Bear that in mind. EmersonRisse ,, 090908 ,, i'm still counting on th days when ILOVEYOU.

SCREAMED at Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Ytd ,

woke up at 12plus noon. den eat my late breakfast cum early lunch. went tuh bath lerhs jiu go work lerhs. Dint go tuh sch. hahahas. worked at 3Pm. Jo and Chris came tuh find me at my restaurant. hahas. so nice of them rights? thanks arhs ! and sry for not being able tuh really tok tuh you all. was very busy ytd, & was caught by my manager in th toilet while waiting for you all tuh come. so bobian. hope you understand yeahs? :DD ytd we have a new crew. her name is Jovie. She said that she noe me but i forgot who is she lerhs. but she noe my junyuan frens lehs. She and me suddenly became quite close at work. But she worked till 6pm only, but after she end work , she changed her status tuh customer and dined in , tgt with my junyuan fren and 2 other bungs. and i served them , then they kept disturbing me. wth =.= so i entertained them luhs. hahahas. ytd business was very good. & i work till i dont even have th time tuh drink water. so tiring mans ! so many customer! wahs , jialat siahs. & those customers came in groups derhs lehs. scary luhs. work till wanna go crazy. but fun lahs , cos ytd derhs manager is fun, and so are my beloved colleagues. Thanks for th day guys ! happy working with you guys :DD then got one of my female customer, damn HOT siahs ! wahs , really , her figure really... idk what tuh say lahs. just very HOT ! Hahahahahahs ! I'm not gatal ahs , give which bung , also wil see derhs luhs. unless that bung no sex drive lahs. hahahahahas. worked till 10PM. then walked very far with my colleague Germaine tuh a bus stop tuh take bus home. she took th same bus with me, cos she stay very near me mahs. then i sent her home luhs , very late lerhs mahs. so i pei her luhs. gentleman right me? hahahas. otw home , on th bus , we had a very long chat. i told her abt my love life and all , & she gave me alot of advices. thanks yeahs? can say that what she said make sense lahs , and sounded very mature like that. hahahahhas. reached home at abt 11plus. then toked tuh ahyun and cindy on th phone. then went tuh bath jiu slp lerhs luhs.

Today ,

woke up at 10plusAM. then ate my breakfast luhs. then did some household chores. hahas. i so guai rights? LOL! dont say i BHB uhs, i noe i am lahs. Lol ! now im going tuh bath then wanna go city hall and meet Jo and Chris lerhs. after that i gonna go work at 6Pm. take care peeps. see you soon. ^^

SCREAMED at Saturday, October 17, 2009

Thursday, October 15, 2009

YTD ,

sch ended at 2pm. then went home tuh bath lerhs , jiu went tuh meet Cindy at Cck mrt. waited for her for quite long lahs. ard 15 mins like that. Zzz. then walked over tuh meet jonas they all. then me & jonas they all slack slack at th mrt there, while Cindy went home tuh take her bicycle. then after that , we went tuh yewtee mrt tuh meet her , she cycled there. crazy rights? LOL. then from yewtee mrt , we walked tuh Cindy erjiu house. then we went tuh th gym and did some workout. Cindy, being th most crazy one , ran like one mad dog like that. WTH ~ siao derhs lahs she. upset jiu dui her own body chu qi ! i pity her body siahs , esp her legs , for nothing kena tortured by that madwoman , CINDY YAP QIN HAN ! while me , being th most obssessive one over muscles building , went tuh carry 7.5KG derhs dumb bell. & worked out for abt 1 hour or so bahs. & now , my muscle is like so damn pain lahs cans. but can see th diff lehs , my muscle got grow abit bigger than last time lerhs. :DDD then after gym , me , Cindy & jonas they all went tuh th swimming pool there tuh swim. actually i dint wan tuh swim derhs , but upon seeing Cindy swim alone , then i went down tuh join her luhs. hahas. tell you lerhs, i treat friends very good also derhs okays. hahas. dont say i BHB lahs. hahas. then we swim until shiok2 lerhs , th security guard came and asked us tuh get out of th pool cos we were wearing T-shirts. hahas ! then me and Cindy went tuh bath lerhs , then we setted off lerhs luhs. me and jonas trained home at abt 10 plus PM. and i reached home at 11plus gg tuh 12 midnight lerhs. then went tuh bath again jiu go slp lerhs. Zzz ~ tired siahs.

~ Once again we met , & i realised myself that i still feel th same as how i used tuh abt Her. i still care , & worry abt Her. But no matter what , I'm going tuh let Her noe nothing abt it. & i'm just gonna act as if i have moved on , & no longer love Her like how i did. But , I will just be watching over Her , trying my best tuh take care of Her , secretly. ~

Today ,

sch ended at 2.30. my Geog teacher was back tuh teach us lerhs. & she look very pale. her husband passed away recently & we could tell that th demise of her husband had caused her a very Great impact in her life. It breaks my heart tuh see her like this now.

Mrs Siva , I noe you are a strong woman , & i hope you will get over all these soon. Never give up , cos we will never give up on you too. Life is unpredictable , and so do not take things too hard. You just gotta noe that , 3N1 will always be there tuh support you! & we love you so much ! Take care , & dont let us disappointed okays? hope th card i have drawn for you just now will enlighten you in some ways. Your naughty boy , me , love you many many !

then went back home , now im at lan shop. gonna blog off now. cos gg tuh work soon at 6 , so gonna go prepare lerhs. take care everyone , shall update again soon.

SCREAMED at Thursday, October 15, 2009

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Ytd ,

went tuh play bball with my brother. :D i love bball mans :D played till 10plus PM then headed back home. wahs , it was kinda late lerhs lahs. read Cindy's blog & found out that she was very sad , & heartbroken becos of JH. then an idea popped out in my mind , so i ask jonas & Cindy tuh call in my phone & conference. then we toked alot of thing luhs. Cindy , for th first time , & i hope it will be th only time , cried till so painfully on th phone. hearing her cry , made me wanna cry too. i really hate tuh see her like that. me and jonas tried tuh cheer her up & comfort her , but tuh no avail. she may act as if she is alright lerhs , but i noe , deep inside she is not. sighs. why did all these happen? my heart felt so painful tuh hear her cry , seriously , it hurts. & i never ever wanna see her cry anymore lerhs. NEVER ! wo derhs xin zhen derhs hen tong. but i pressed on. i dint show out , i used anger tuh cover up th pain. i shouted at Her, i scolded her , i toked tuh her in a harsh tone. last night was th first time i ever shout at her. But it was becos i really dont wanna see her like this , i wanna make her wake up.

I'm sorry Girl. you noe i didnt mean tuh shout at you derhs , but becos i care & hate tuh see you like this , i had tuh get you out of these shit that he brought you. I dont wanna ask anything from you , but i have just 1 request ; would you promise me tuh take good care of yourself , be strong & stay happy always , no matter what happen in th future? It hurt me tuh see you cry, frankly it does.

How did He make Her love him till so deep?? Why He can make Her love him till so deep but i couldnt , no matter how hard i used tuh try?? Maybe , I'm indeed a failure, cant even grab hold of Her heart like how He did. He must be feeling proud tuh have made a girl love him so much , But Why did he chose tuh hurt Her again? Why?? what rights does he have tuh hurt her? ta ping she me shang hai ta?

after talking tuh jonas and Cindy , Katherine & Jo called me , & we conferenced. we talked abt Chris derhs thing. & lotsa craps lahs. LOL. So , ended up i slept at 1plus AM last night. Tired mans ~

Today ,

went tuh sch as usual , but was extremely TIRED. slept for th first 1&half hour , then disciplinary teacher caught me & brought me out of my classroom. Zzz~ then i act one i sick , then th teacher let me go home & rest. HAHAHAHAS ! after that , i went tuh canteen tuh eat , ALONE D: left sch at 9AM. LOL ! very early hor? HaHaHas. then bused down tuh Tan Tock Seng there tuh see doc. after that , bused down tuh Bedok polyclinic tuh see another round of doctor. what a DOCTORY day is today luhs. LOL ! waited for my queue for damn fucking longggg ~ =.= had a heart test , &... Idk lahs. Dont wanna say abt it lerhs lahs. well , all these thing are fated. but th annoying part is that during th heart test , i had tuh remove my shirt & everything , then th nurse paste so many stickers with wires connected around my "CHEST" , hands and legs. wth , naked lehs. my camera can zoom in tuh th nurse's pores mans. damn paiseh luhs. Dx after see doctor , went tuh find my dad at th coffeeshop , he ordered KFC ^^ after that , went home lerhs luhs. Sians ~ shall blog off lerhs. take care everyone.

~ 2 days ago , you told me that you love me , but 3 days later , i heard that you still loved him. So who had you exactly love all along? Did You fall in & out of Love so fast & easily? ~

SCREAMED at Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Monday, October 12, 2009

YTD ,

went back home at 11plus PM. hahas. then went tuh bath lerhs , jiu upload photo then slp lerhs luhs.

Today ,

went tuh find Jonas at her house. she was still slping when i reached her house. Wth ~ Zzz. Ps ahs Buatoh , wake you up early in th morning. hahas. then tell her everything abt me and "her". was kinda emo lahs. after that , wrote a letter tuh Cindy. a pretty long letter , probably th longest one i ever write tuh her ever since i DC bahs. LOL. hmms , wrote everything , my TRUE feelings and thoughts inside th letter. LOL. then Cindy suddenly msg Jonas and say that she read my blog till very DULAN. =.= so Jonas ask me tuh clear things out with her , & she ask her tuh call in. so me and her toked on phone luhs. hahas. but when she first started th conversation , she was like toking tuh me in her a very happy , or rather hyper mode. so , no mood for those unhappy and emo stuffs. LOLS. then from there we carry on with those joking joking derhs stuffs luhs , dint really tok anything out lahs. Laugh Out Loud :D tried my best tuh tok tuh her like toking tuh a normal fren , & it was kind of weird lahs. Maybe i have been just forcing myself tuh tok tuh her like normal fren bahs? but i think that wil be better bahs. HAHAS. tried very hard not tuh mention anything abt me and her derhs past. Cos i dont wanna think abt it lerhs. then she msg me , & her msgs all also got say abt those things. but i tried tuh treat her like joking , so i replied in a joking manner , trying th change th topic. But , She still kept on toking abt it. so , i pekcek , i told her alot of things lahs. LOL. dint wan tuh tok abt it derhs , but she made me so pekcek. She noe abt what me and KQ did on th day i went tuh KQ house there lerhs. So yeahs , like that luhs. toking tuh her , made me recall all those memories back again. haish. actually th past few days i have been having flashbacks & all. & it always hurt me when i think of those memories. made me feel like crying. but i noe i gotta be strong & move on :D actually i've been trying very hard tuh move on lerhs , although i cant say that i now totally no feeling for her lerhs , but , im trying my very best tuh act normal & as if nth happened. got tuh noe that she still love HIM. felt so disappointed at first , & so heartpain. whatever i have done for her , nan dao bi bu shang what JH did for her mehs? I Dont believe that HE love her more than i do luhs, seriously. I dont believe that he can treat Cindy better than i did , & whatever i have done for Cindy , I Dont think he will do it luhs. Cos i believe that i loved Cindy more than he does. He has once hurt Cindy , & im afraid that he would do th same again. hopefully wont bahs. but lets see luhs. Wo na li bi bu shang ta siahs? WTF ~! QI GEK arghs ! nvm , everything btwn me & her also over lerhs , so whoever she choose tuh be with , go ahead luhs. just wish her all th best in everything bahs. wo xiang wo ke yi xi guan yi ge ren shen huo , sui ran wo zhi dao hui hen xin ku , but i noe i can do it. & hopefully i can bahs :D okays lahs , shall end my post here lerhs bahs. take care peepo. ciaos ~

SCREAMED at Monday, October 12, 2009

Pics taken when toning with Chris at my house derhs staircase. Zzz

Pic of me just wake up , then emoemo. LOL.

SCREAMED at Monday, October 12, 2009

Sunday, October 11, 2009

im back tuh blog lerhs. ytd night after i blog , kat called me and told me that my brother Chris missed th last bus home lerhs. then she has nowhere tuh go for th night lerhs. so , i ask her tuh ask Chris tuh come my house here , i pei her ton. see i so good rights? hahas. then Chris lost her way on th way tuh my house. so i walked very far just tuh go find her. LOL. very tired siahs. i just finish work very tired lerhs then some more she still make me walk so far tuh find her. she better appreciate mans. hahas.

To Chris : Bro , you dont sad sad lerhs lahs , im sure if you can prove it tuh Jo , she will accpt you one day. Dont Give Up ! :D Jiayou ^^ I support you , but you gotta use your actions tuh prove it tuh her lahs, dont you ever dare hurt her hor , she is my JIE lehs ! xD take care.

then ytd night went tuh fetch her from idk where. then we went tuh 7-11 tuh buy fag. hahas. after that slack at my house there derhs staircase luhs. fag , tok cock , tok on th phone with Jo, messed around and all lahs. LOL. then she half way fall aslp , pangseh me alone there tuh entertain myself with my phone. WTH ! so bobian luhs , she too tired lerhs. i at there zilian with my phone luhs. took retarded pics. hahas ! too sians lerhs lahs. hahas. then 4 plus AM , i went in tuh bath , cos i gotta wash my working uniform , if not today jiu cant wear tuh work lerhs. after that , went out again tuh wake her up. then sent her tuh my house there derhs bus stop. pei her wait for bus. then go home slp liaos. i also very tired lerhs siahs. what th hell.

Today ,

woke up at 2 plus PM. then went tuh brush teeth then eat my lunch. Mom bought Beehoon :D after eating , msg Vivian and she told me that my romance wanna break up with me becos of Cindy. Haish. idk what tuh say abt LOVE lerhs lahs. wanna give up lerhs. WO TOU XIANG ! Why , just went i have told myself tuh let go of Cindy , & that i already have KQ , so I must focus more on her , then this kinda thing crop out derhs? KQ is th one i have always put hope & trust on , & tot would not hurt me , & yet i heard all these from Vivian, saw what other SGH girl write one th blog that KQ like YANPING. wth is this? Even my only hope for LOVE is fading away. what else can i do? yeahs , ppl asked me tuh ignore th both KQ & Cindy , & be back tuh my old self who everyday go sch , after sch play bball , go library study then go home. but i was like this already , when i was still going on fine with KQ. why does everything just changed? haish. i really dont noe what tuh say lerhs. ppl ask me tuh go find new girl , Cindy & KQ are not th only girls on earth. but I DON'T WANT ! I dont want tuh find any girls , i dont want anyone. i just wan a girl who TRULY love me , understand me , accept me for whoever i am , & will never let me go , is that so difficult? can someone just understand, that i just need a girl who TRULY LOVE me , & would not hurt me ? haish. im really very tired lerhs. im speechless too...

after that , i called jonas and she scolded me. she said alot of things , alot alot of things... haish. why cant ppl just try tuh understand me , & try putting themselves in my shoe and think for me. how would they feel? No one understand me , NO ONE ! im sick and tired of all these. really , im just tuh tired tuh carry on. haish. after toking tuh Jonas , i went out tuh my house nearby derhs staircase and slack , fag , plus emo emo awhile. alot of things just went through my mind. idk what tuh say. I just need someone who will LOVE me th way i want tuh be LOVED , & NOT someone who lets go of me so easily. seriously , no one noes what i exactly want , and how i was feeling all along.

Now , im at th lan shop , cos my bro using th com. I'm going tuh work real soon , immediately after im done with my blogging. im running out of time lerhs , & money too. shall blog till here bahs. take care peeps.

SCREAMED at Sunday, October 11, 2009

Jin Hong kena SABO by us till so jialat siahs ! hahas. FUN RIGHT? HAHAHAHAHAS ! *EVIL*

SCREAMED at Sunday, October 11, 2009

Saturday, October 10, 2009

just reached home. now is 12AM. today morning woke up at 9plus AM. then went nua at my bed till 11plus PM. then eat breakfast. after that i went tuh clean up my house abit luhs. then bath lerhs jiu go tam meet Chris , Val , they all at TM luhs. then slack slack , walk walk luhs. Keith was there too. & i managed tuh sort everything out btwn me and her face tuh face lerhs. so now me and Keith okays liaos. Val & Chris hughug infront of me , & i was quite sot lahs. so i just pull Chris tuh one corner toktok luhs. kan bu xia qu lahs. then we went tuh Keith's working place at TM basement. then they toktok with her while me & Chris tok cock at one corner. LOL ! BRO , thanks for acc me yeahs? hahas. HALF HOUR DERHS ! xD then after that i went tuh work at 6PM lerhs luhs. worked till 10 plusPM. then just reached home. hehe. today whole day only received ONE msg from "her". Dx nvm , life still goes on. & i believe without her , i still can move on with my life. anw , i'll just flirt ard bahs. no point being so serious. haish. really giving up on LOVE lerhs. too hurting liaos. & i can take it no more.

Today is my colleague Jin Hong derhs bday and we forked out $5 per person for his bday. =.= then just now he kena sabo by us till very jialat siahs. hahas. later shall upload th pics taken just now. hahas. gtg. take care everyone.

~im trying tuh smile , even though my heart is crying. cos i noe , i gotta be strong , & move on without you in my life~

SCREAMED at Saturday, October 10, 2009

Friday, October 9, 2009

Break down , Breaking down , Broke down , Broken down !

just finished bathing. got tuh noe that i sent wrong msg tuh cindy then just now just replied her msg & she called in. felt happy tuh receive her call actually , but , th moment she say "hello" , i sense smth bad lerhs. she toked tuh me in a angry tone. & i was like KONG HUAN XI YI CHANG =/ had some kind of quarrel lahs. th way she toked tuh me like shit. sighs. called jonas and related tuh her. she told me alot of things. & now i roughly noe why "she" suddenly treat me this way. im having alot of mixture of feelings right now. sad , broken , depressed , pain , angry , happy , etc etc lahs. so readers , be prepared tuh hear me nag again, but this time round's nagging , gonna be VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD !

today is th 091009 , which is th 1 year 1 month anni. but this shit happened. really , i dont noe why out of all th days , must be this day siahs. its like TONG SHANG JIA TONG lahs ! this time derhs post , im being very honest , straightforward and anything you think i am. when "she" just dc , i was waiting for her tuh call me. noe why? partly becos of her letter she wrote tuh me before i dc. & when she call me , i was indeed very happy ! slowly , i went tuh meet her , but at that point of time , i dont really tot of wan tuh FU CHU so much for her anymore derhs. so i admit that i was indeed selfish towards her at that point of time. then th first time i met her after she dc , was with jonas , and that was how she noe jonas. jonas kept encouraging me tuh GAN GAN QU AI "ta" if i still love her. at first , i dint really tot of wan tuh FU CHU even after jonas first few encouragement. cos at that point of time , i was thinking , "who noes she will hurt me again or not , what if i give her all den when she leave me , i lose all? & im left with nothing ! Is she worth it? Will I regret if I really start tuh FU CHU? It isnt fair tuh KQ ..........." then slowly me and "her" became close , kept meeting , almost everyday also meet , but i must say that thats also becos JONAS helped me lahs. thks. then came tuh she run away from home , i tried my best tuh help her lerhs , i gave everything i can lerhs. maybe what i have given is not really alot tuh her , but it meant alot tuh me. ever since she run home , becos of helping her , my life changed. really , th changes are obvious. pretty obvious. before she enter my life again , my life was very simple , after sch play bball or go library study with my meimei Clara , 7-8plus PM reached home. then weekends work , sometimes meet my fren. thats it , simple life right? but after she enter my life , everything just changed. in addition , she run home. more stress for me. i everyday go sch , spend money also $1 - $2 , th rest i will buy things for her tuh eat , i very late then go home , i everyday also go down find her , no matter at WEST or at jonas house, rs btwn me and my mom get worst, i was even caned by her can , i spent alot of money within days, i was often late for work , i slept very late every night becos of toking on th phone with her, affected my next day performance in sch , kept dozing off in class, im so broke right now although my payday was like a week ago. all these sacrifices in less than a month's time still not enough?!?!?! and they all still can say i selfish AFTER i have done all these???? really very sot siahs. although i did all these things, but i did it out of my LOVE for her , on my own will. i tried my best tuh help her , love her th way she wanted tuh be loved , be there for her whenever i can , let her feel loved and pampered , make her happy lerhs. i did so many things for her , but i have never asked for anything in return except just her LOVE , i just wanted her tuh love me th way i loved her. from what i see , i treated her better than how her frens treated her & yet she treated me worse than how she treat a NORMAL fren like jonas. jonas say "she" treat me worse than a fren is becos "she" has once loved me deeply. so this is th way she treat someone who she once loved deeply? why is it like so opposite derhs uhs? when she is upset , she use laughters tuh cover up her tears , & never wanna show it out tuh me. its not that i dint approach her , i did , but she would always be saying that she is fine. ppl kip saying that i very selfish , only think abt myself & not for "her" , BUT i did thought for her , tried tuh put myself into her shoes & feel how she felt , but what else can i do besides listening tuh her rants , think of ways tuh help her out , & even try tuh help her within my capability. & ppl still can say that im selfish & never think for her , i did , but who think for me? not even "she". "she" ever told me that she love me , but i dont tink she got tink for me luhs. cos if "she" did , she wouldnt have asked me tuh call her late at night becos i next day have tuh go sch , "she" would have spent her money WISELY , etcetc lahs. "she" only told me that"she" loved me , but when im with her , i've never felt her love. yes , i admit that i was afraid that she might fall for jonas , but i trust jonas. for this , i cant say that i trust "her" becos of too many factors. but , i cant say that i doubt her too lahs. cos i have no reason tuh. she had asked me tuh trust her , but all i can say is that TRUST is NOT for me tuh give but for her tuh EARN. so far , i cant say that i dont trust her , yes i do trust her , but not that much lahs. as th saying goes , " th person who you find th most difficult tuh trust , is th person who you love th most " . ppl told me that she toked tuh XiaoHao for hours. how that person noe? obviously its becos that person witnessed it lahs ! & does anyone ever think of how i will feel after hearing that? dont say a bung lahs , a guy hear ppl like that say of th girl he love also will feel one kind derhs lahs hor. but i also tahan lerhs , i never mention anything abt it. becos of her , i let go of kelle , becos of her , i nearly let go of KQ too. becos i noe i still love her. i used tuh hate her , i used tuh love her , now , i really dont noe how should i feel abt her lerhs. im very tired lerhs. my heart is hurting now. & it hurts badly... how i crave for alcohol tuh numb th pain now... i dont wanna think , but i just cant help it. my mind , my heart , my body , my soul , all also very tired liaos. seriously they are exhausted. as what i have dread for , HURT , is how i feel now. her words and th way she treated me cuts me like a knife. im just so afraid tuh love anyone anymore. heart almost dead lerhs. ytd , when was in th train , she used my hp tuh call/msg XiaoHao. i have tuh day that i was indeed very sot lahs. use MY PHONE tuh msg/call HIM lehs ! give who in my position also sot lahs. then some msgs i tink she deleted lerhs bahs. i also dont noe lahs. but i never say anything lahs infront of her ytd , but th poor bro of mine , Chris , listened tuh my KP. Ps lehs. One of she sent tuh XiaoHao derhs msg says that "she" tonight will call him. so ytd night "she" never call me like how she always does , and she no msgs nothing , thats when i recalled tuh th msg that she sent XiaoHao that"she" will call him. thats why i msg XiaoHao & asked him tuh ask "her" tuh call me. then this morning when i at chalet , she called me and used a very FUCKUP tone tuh tok tuh me. she ask me why i look for her till i must ask find till her frens tuh noe where is she. & XiaoHao seems tuh have helped me tell her that im looking for her lerhs. in my heart , i tink , " wahs, so fast Xiaohao tell her lerhs uhs? that means that "she" often contact Xiaohao lahs? wtf ! " but i never say anything out tuh her lahs. i will feel so jealous / dulan when she contact Xiaohao is also becos wo ZAI HU her & she has not given me any assurance. i dont feel secured, i DONT , even though im a bung , a bung needs a sense of security too. i never have th courage tuh tell her all these that im writing in my blog now , NEVER ! cos i find it hard tuh relate my probs & everything tuh her. & always, even when she show me attitude or whatever , i give in tuh her becos i dont wan have any quarrel with her. but today , just now , i just burst out , maybe becos i have done too much of thinking and could take it no more.

jiu blog till here lerhs. thanks for listening tuh my KP. take care readers. im really tired lerhs now. eyes dropping, probably becos just now cried too much lerhs bahs. haish.

SCREAMED at Friday, October 09, 2009

Pictures taken on Wed , at th chalet. hahas. FUN DAY :))

SCREAMED at Friday, October 09, 2009

Wed ,

went tuh katherine's bday & she got sabo ! hahas ! at first when me and Chris reached there in th afternooon , there very little ppl , very sian. then nth tuh do , we fag fag , tok tok , & play poker cards luhs. then at night got more ppl come lerhs , then we happening happening abit lerhs luhs. hahas. ate BBQ chicken wings. :DD fooled around with Chris & co. hahas. then sang bday song & cut th cake at abt 8plus PM. hahas. took pics tgt with katherine , Chris , Monkey :D some pics in my hp now , some in their camera. shall get th pics from them & post it when i can yeahs. :D went home at abt 10 PM like that. hahas. reached home lerhs , jiu bath , then go slp lerhs.

Thurs ,

paper finished at 10. then trained down tuh CCK tuh meet cindy. after that pei her go buy her things , then we trained down tuh jurong east tuh wait for Chris tuh come. then tgt trained down tuh city hall tuh meet jonas and jia yuan. & then we go eat SUBWAY , AGAIN ! LOL ! after eating , go fag fag , walk walk at MS. Jonas , Jiayuan & cindy went off tuh gym at abt 3plus. then me and Chris went tuh buy thing eat at 7-11 & she bought Pocky for Joanna. LOL! waited for Joanna tuh come till abt 5 PM. then we pei her eat , slack & fag till abt 6PM like that , me and Chris trained down tuh pasir ris , bused down tuh downtown east tuh katherine's chalet again. LOL! reached th chalet at abt 7plus PM. hahas. then slack slack at th chalet derhs room , enjoying th aircon. LOL. me and monkey "RAPE" katherine on th bed. hahas ! cos inside th room , only got 3 bungs ( Me , Chris & Monkey ) , & girls ( Katherine , Valerie , Ah Yi's GF ). so me and monkey go "RAPE" Katherine. hahas. BUT is JOKING derhs RAPE lahs. so readers , DONT anyhow think. LOL. but Chris is th only "DECENT" bung sitting at there watch show niahs. ACT ONE DECENT ONLY luhs. HALF HOUR derhs ! hahas. PEACE\/ my "CHEST" kena beat by those girls siahs , katherine , valerie , Ahyi's GF , Joanna & th rest i forgot lerhs lahs. poor "CHEST" of mine. then , Monkey went down tuh dancedance. hahas. while Ah Yi and his girlfriend came in th room. they two couple slp on th bed , while me , Valerie & Chris slp on th floor derhs matteress. then i helped tuh off light &.... hahahas ! for me tuh noe for you tuh find out ! heh heh. me & Chris left th chalet at abt 9plus PM. Chris followed me tuh take bus 17 back home. hahas. thanks arghs bro ! :DD reached home at abt 10plusPM. then went tuh bath lerhs , msgmsg , jiu slp liaos.

Today ,

paper ended at 8:30, then after that i go eat , then bused down tuh th chalet again. reached th chalet at abt 10AM. then at there slack slack with Valerie & Chris. found out something , while i was lying beside Valerie when she is msging. dont wanna say it here , but , just felt kinda disappointed lahs. dont noe her lahs. only have 3 words for Valerie , NOT WORTH IT ! stayed at th chalet till abt 3PM , then bused home lerhs.

yeahs yeahs , havent had enough of sleep nowadays. Zzz ~ finally my papers are over lerhs ! HAPPY , but also SCARED at th same time. dont noe how badly i will do for th papers. =S haish. things between me and HER , im very speechless lerhs. haish. recently found that her attitude towards me is like so FUCK UP. idk lahs. ytd , she dint msg me at night , dint call me , unlike how she usually does. tried tuh ask her frens where is she , but.. haish. nvm lahs. i dont noe what tuh say some more lerhs lahs. maybe its time for me tuh really let go of her bahs? i dont wish tuh , but i guess , i cant do anything lerhs bahs. i'm tired lerhs. i have tuh say that its NOT easy tuh let go & give up , but i will kip on trying. i have been trying very hard not tuh think of her , not tuh care so much abt her when i was in th chalet. i was trying , but i have always been failing tuh do so. i must admit that ytd i was very sot with her , becos she used my hp tuh msg/call HIM. its not that i dont trust her , but i recently realise that she always call & msg HIM. haish. up tuh her lahs, im no one tuh say anything. shall end my post here lerhs bahs. hmms , i gonna upload th pics taken at th chalet on Wed , that is now in my hp. take care everyone.

~I'm sorry , I have tried my best tuh love you th way you wanted tuh be loved, but i seemed not tuh be able tuh do it , I'm sorry ~

SCREAMED at Friday, October 09, 2009

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

YESTERDAY ,

after sch trained down tuh clementi tuh find cindy. then met her at clementi MRT platform then we trained down from clementi tuh city hall tuh meet jonas and jiayuan. went tuh eat subway with jiayuan , jonas and cindy again. SUBWAY SUBWAY SUBWAY ! hahahas. then after eating , cindy went tuh meet weetan at novena. then left me , jonas and jiayuan. liting called me and i told her everything that she needs tuh noe. jonas told us that she wanna break up with liting lerhs. haish. nowadays derhs couple got so many probs derhs luhs. cant even enjoy a smooth rs derhs siahs. NBCB ! suck cock lahs. then me and jiayuan walk walk ard MS while jonas is on th phone with liting, trying tuh clear things out btwn th both of them. so left me and jiayuan there tuh entertain each other with our own typical nonsense. HAHAHAS ! we follow jonas wherever she walk. retarded right? scared she might go missing mahs. LOL ! she was very sad also lahs. this we all also can tell lahs. she broke up with liting lerhs mahs. i noe she still love her derhs lahs , just that alot of factors made her say th word break up. haish. BUATOH , i understand how you feel. jiayou ok? anything feel free tuh look me up :D DONT LET GIRLS BRING US DOWN. :)) then me jiayuan and jonas trained down from city hall tuh YEW TEE tuh take things from liting frens. it was her one month anni letter. then after that we went tuh a shopping mall and seat down and read th letter. then after that went tuh eat at one japan restaurant. i dont noe what name lerhs lahs. but i never eat. i just bought a tub of ICE CREAM and eat niahs:DD broke lerhs lahs. T.T then went tuh buy 3 mashed potatoes from seven eleven. 2 for her , and 1 for myself luhs :D she love potatoes and so do i :D then slack slack awhile at th void deck there fool around, this and that lahs. then went tuh take train home lerhs luhs. reached home at abt 9plus PM. thats late lahs. then went down tuh buy things for my bro and myself tuh eat. then bath lerhs jiu slp liaos.

TODAY ,

had SS and CHEM papers. DISAPPOINTED with myself, i dint finish my CHEM paper. still got more than half of it havent complete yet T.T dozed off when half way throught th paper. DDDDDDx i worked hard for it lerhs lehs. i got study and put in alot of effort in studies derhs lehs. and all these happened. on th most impt day , i fall aslp . NOT JUST ONCE some more , every paper i also got slp derhs lehs. WTF am i doing siahs ???!!! arghs ~! nowadays so damn fucking stressed up DDDDDx after my paper, i immediately went tuh find my form teacher and told her everything abt it but she also cant help me. felt so depressed luhs. half of th paper i dint do lehs, lost so many marks lahs ! T.T if i never slp , i sure can do much better derhs luhs. haish. studied hard for nothing. for SLEEP ! WHAT TH FUCK !!! after that , went tuh eat at my sch canteen. ate alot , ate POTATOES SALAD , RICE ! eat and eat and eat ! my life came crashing nowadays. i wasnt like this in th past. ever since... aiyahs , dont noe lahs. all my fault , thats all i can say bahs. dont wanna blame anyone else. yeahs, its all my fucking fault. next yr O'lvl lerhs , no more fooling ard mans. gonna work extra hard lerhs. and most importantly , NO MORE SLEEPING during EXAMS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shall blog off here lerhs. gg tuh bath and go for katherine derhs bday chalet lerhs. meeting my new bung fren , chris also :D bringing her along. take care peeps. now everything is done , all i can do is tuh be prepared for th worst and pray for th best. pray for me too please. thanks.

SCREAMED at Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Monday, October 5, 2009

Pic taken on friday , saturday , & today :D

SCREAMED at Monday, October 05, 2009

TODAY ,

had maths paper 1 and geog paper. wahs , hard siahs ! scared that i might do badly for th papers DD: after sch , went tuh grandlink tuh meet up with jonas , yimin , cindy , SOCK TING ( BIG BIRD ) , jiayuan they all. hahas. then saw my BEAR & aeslyn they all there too :DD miss them siahs ! xD then went tuh slack and fag. played in th rain , and almost everywhere i go , i laughed here and there. hahas. trying tuh make myself happy and save th awkwardness luhs. then we went tuh sing K. sang till i burst out again. T.T sang AN JING , WOBUPEI , HURT SO BAD and idk lerhs lahs. yeahs. then me , jonas , cindy and BIG BIRD bused down tuh PARKWAY tuh eat at subway. treated BIG BIRD eat, but next time she gonna treat me eat back :D actually wasnt hungry lahs , just that mouth very itchy , just wanna stuff myself with food , food and food ! OMG , gonna gain a few more KG lerhs T.T now , im bankrupt again lerhs. T.T FUCK ! dont like bankrupt derhs feeling lahs Dx back tuh my story , walked walked ard PP , and then bused home lerhs luhs. reached home at abt 8PM. tired lerhs. then here i am lerhs luhs. BLOGGING :D okays lahs. shall end here lerhs tmr still got paper. so tonight gonna slp early mans. take care peeps. * SECRET : I HAVENT BATH YET * hahas ! gonna go bath lerhs lahs. BYE :D

SCREAMED at Monday, October 05, 2009

Sunday, October 4, 2009

FRIDAY ,

zhao skul , cos got mc :D then met jonas at aljunied mrt. tgt trained down tuh boonlay and meet MI TANG at jurong point :D then slack slack , walk walk , fag fag at ard jurong point till 11plus AM. then trained down from boonlay tuh aljunied then bused down tuh jonas sch tuh meet jonas frens. then meet lerhs , clack slack , joke around , play and make fun , here and there , then we all bused down tuh tam. in th bus , we still carry on playing , blown bubbles , purposely block ppl's way ( thats YIMIN'S hobby ) , YIMIN is so FUNNY lahs , I like tuh play with her siahs. make me laugh like i never did. hahas. next time sad must meet her and ask her tuh cheer me up liaos :DD raeched tam , we went tuh pei shuting eat , then walk walk , & went tuh meet KAT at th salon. :DD miss her mans. so long never meet her lerhs. hahas. this coming wed is her bday liaos. hahas. gonna go for her chalet :D then after that , me , jonas and MI TANG trained down all th way tuh OUTRAM tuh go collect things from their frens. then trained down back tuh tam tuh collect my pay. reached tam at ard 5 PLUS PM , but have tuh wait till 6 like that then can get my bloody pay Dx get pay lerhs , we went tuh eat at subway. MY TREATS :D spent over $20 at subway ): then KAT came tuh meet us , so bought her cookies :) then MI TANG left tuh meet her mom at CCK there alone. & was fucking worried abt her , scared her mom may call th police or murder her. cos they meet up at a very secluded place. so was very very very very very worried abt her. waited for her msg tuh report safe tuh me. waited till 10PM like that then she called me , and i was much more relieved :) then tok tok awhile then i slp lerhs Z.Z

SATURDAY,

woke up at 10plus AM. then bath lerhs jiu go out lerhs. cos IT WAS SUPPOSINGLY ME AND MI TANG DERHS DATE DERHS ! planned tuh watch movie with her , then go eat with her alone derhs. say lerhs mahs , ITS OUR DATE mahs. BUT everything just went like shit. I HATE PLANNING things lerhs lahs next time. D: trained down tuh city hall then walked tuh SUNTEC tuhs see th time slots for PHOBIA2. th next show was 5:15 PM so i cant watch cos i got work at 6pm. so i never buy th tickets luhs. DISAPPOINTED !! then met JONAS at SUNTEC. Liting dint come out , so she very sad, & celebrate ONE MONTH ANNI alone. Poor buatoh. cheer up ok? she will be out soon derhs lahs. PATIENCE ! :D then , walked back tuh city hall MRT tuh meet MI TANG at th control station there. then tgt trained down tuh orchard. intended tuh watch PHOBIA2 at orchard derhs. but shits happened & dint get tuh watch until any movie. we walked ard WISMA & realised that there was no cinemas there. so decided tuh walk over tuh cine tuh see th time slots. but jonas dont wanna follow , she wanna go TCC eat. then she asked me and MI TANG tuh go watch movie ourselves. BUT i asked her tuh follow us watch lerhs , she say she no money tuh watch. but MI TANG said that she dont like tuh PANGSEH her frens derhs. then she no mood tuh watch movie with me liaos , and kinda raised voice at me ))x so reluctantly , we walked ard tuh find CINE. cant find. then she called her frens and ask her tuh check abt th movie. but no time slot suits us. so nvm , she say she wanna go home lerhs. WTF?! supposed tuh be OUR DATE lehs and all these shits happened ?!?! that time raining some more , more DULAN mans. becos she dont wanna PS jonas , she no mood tuh watch movie lerhs , this I UNDERSTAND & i also dont wanna PS her , but jonas no money watch with us i also BOBIAN mahs. then rain , then NO MOVIE tuh watch , then she raised voice at me , wahs , DULAN and FRUSTRATED mans ! so face was black all th way. but after awhile i was ok lerhs lahs. went tuh find jonas at TCC. then ordered a HAZELNUTELLA LATTE at TCC , it was very ex lahs cans. $10 per cup siahs. can die uhs, but NICE okays ! hahas :D then went tuh fag , and went tuh buy something for KAT'S bday present ^^ after that , brought MI TANG and jonas tuh eat at pasta cafe. MY TREATS again. wahs , spent over $36 on th food & jonas' drink. bankrupt liaos siahs. after eating , bought 2 tubs of ice cream at cold storage for myself and MI TANG :D I LOVE ICE CREAMS :DD then went tuh work at 5:30 PM. worked till 10 plus then i went tuh meet jonas and MI TANG at my house there derhs 7-11. intended tuh drink tgt derhs. and also tok everything out. was feeling very MOODY ~.~ then we bought 2 long cans of CARLSBERG & 2 normal cans of CARLSBERG and walked tuh my house downstairs drink and toked whatever i felt out , kinda burst out lahs. drank 1long can and 2 normal cans till i abit seh , cos i dragged. but i still noe what i was doing lahs , just that i felt very heavy and cant control my own actions. just walk here and there and laughed everywhere. was very heartbroken when jonas say that me and MI TANG derhs thing just end there infront of th both of us. & tears just flowed down. really dont wanna let her go & yet was forced tuh. T.T &finally plucked up th courage tuh tell her things i never have th courage tuh tell her , face tuh face somemore ! MI TANG went tuh buy 1 bottle of cold th mineral water and jonas pour it on me tuh make me cheh , & was wet all over. i was cheh but still felt heavy. then slept awhile at th chair. woke up by jonas again. Dx tired siahs. having headache and i accidentally knocked until my lips swollen. PAIN siahs. till now still got abit swollen luhs. then slack with them till 6plus in th morning , they dont let me slp siahs, wth ! then they went tuh take cab home. MI TANG went tuh jonas house for th night. cos she has nowhere tuh go for th night lerhs. then i went home tuh bath and slp lerhs luhs.

TODAY ,
woke up at 3PM. then called MI TANG and tok tuh her on th phone. then online awhile jiu go prepare tuh go work lerhs. worked at 6PM. till 10PM. wahs , tired & hungry siahs. X.X after work , got one of my colleague EUGENE treat me eat ICE CREAMS :DD cos was damn super hungry D: then went tuh buy roti tuh eat at breadtalk. then came back home lerhs luhs.

tmr got maths and geog paper. so i gotta go now. take care everyone and i hope i can do well in all my exams. peeps , do pray for me yeahs? thanks ^^ nights !

SCREAMED at Sunday, October 04, 2009