hurts after hurts *

Monday, October 26, 2009

Sat ,
Worked till 10plus. then went tuh eat at Tam with 6 of my colleagues; Nikie , Anna , Aqiem , Zana , Shikin and Matthew. All malay except for me and Matthew. hahas. aft that , we walked tuh 201 tehre derhs mac , cos Nikie wanna eat mac. eat & eat & eat only. Dots. LOL.but i never eat lahs. then Anna feed me with fries, so i eat luhs. so sweet of her hor? LOL. then aft that my mom came tuh fetch me at abt 2am. she KP me again. sians Zzz~ go home and bath lerhs , jiu slp lerhs luhs.

Sun ,
KQ dint come out. called her mom , and her mom told me that she cant make it tuh bring her out for her HL. SIAN ~ then went tuh AMK HUB and eat Mac. wahs , eat till very full siahs. LOL. then aft that , went tuh SGH and sent Shi Luan back in. :D aft that , went tuh find Jonas and Cindy at Jonas house. then , we went tuh buy Carlsberg. Jonas bought 4 cans + 1 Vodka , while me , i bought 6 cans of Carlsberg. :DD then we drank at her house nearby luhs. Cindy never drink , so she was th most sober one down there. LOL. my kick came at th 4th can. then i went tuh buy another 4 cans , 2 for Jonas , 2 for myself. i cant really rmb everything i did , but abit here and there bahs. i noe , that i cried until very jialat, that i told Cindy smth abt 1 night stand ( cant really recall lerhs ) , i played with th water , & i knocked down one of th beer cans , i cut my hand ( dont noe from where ) and i lied down flat there. th rest i dont really rmb lerhs. then Jonas wake me up , and asked me tuh go home. then i walk tuh th bus stop, but otw tuh th bus stop , i merlion until very jialat , kena my jeans also. =.= then reached th bus stop , i took pic of my dirtied jeans. LOL! took th bus 14 home. then i overslept in th bus till interchange. reached bedok inter lerhs , i took 17 back and again , i overslept till tam there. Zzz. too seh and drunk lerhs. This time , i admit , i was really really really very seh. in my whole life time , i have never been this seh before. ytd was my FIRST & i hope will be th ONLY time bahs. then reached tam lerhs, i took cab home lerhs luhs. no strength tuh take bus lerhs. reached home at abt 12+ AM , then went tuh wash up my jeans , and bath lerhs , jiu K.O TOTALLY lerhs.

Ytd , i was very very very depressed , and i needed someone there for me , need someone there tuh take care of me , tuh wipe away my tears, tuh care abt me , BUT , where were you??? you were infront of me , witnessing my nonsense , watching me cry , seeing me doing everything. yeahs , you are just there tuh SEE ONLY. i showed you my weakest side , when i was in th process of FA JIU FENG. but all you did was , SEE ! whenever you were on your darkest times , i always try my best tuh be there for you , tuh take care of you , tuh help you , etc. but when i was in that state ytd , even if its inconvenient for you tuh send me home , you dint even bother tuh send me tuh th bus stop. you just see me walk tuh th bus stop ON MY OWN. Jonas was also drunk , so i understand that she cant send me tuh th bus stop. but i believe , i was worst than her ytd. Put as an example lahs ok, IF , jonas was in my state ytd , what would you do? i guess you would be very DIFFERENT towards her bahs. im sure you WONT sit there and do nothing like how you did ytd. i can rmb that i went after you , but you just ran away from me , & you pushed me away. you are so cruel, really very cruel. i was in that state and you still can push me away? yeahs , i noe , my actions ytd may scare & freak you out ytd , but you gotta noe , i was drunk , very very drunk. i guess you can tell that also. where have all your feelings gone tuh? idk , and i have been wanting tuh noe. you noe , ytd when i was in th cab home , i told th driver that im sry becos i drank alot , and vomited thats why im so smelly. then you noe what he asked me? " then why your frens dint send you home lehs? " and i went , silent. i also dont noe lehs. when i was at my lowest time of life, no one was with me, no one stand by me. i was , ALL ALONE, and no one even care abt me. NOT EVEN YOU ! even just as a fren , you WEREN'T there. so what am i tuh you ? worst than a fren? haish. really very disappointed. very very disappointed. T.T you can be so caring towards Jonas , and all , when you just noe her for less than 2 months , but towards me , you are just so COLD , and heartless. im utterly disappointed. seriously , i am.

Today ,
went tuh sch at per normal. but th hangover was very jialat. had headache and body ache. very tired and sleepy in class. sch ended at 1245 PM , then went tuh Parkway tuh meet Jonas and Cindy , again. Jonas was very sad , i can see. tried tuh cheer her up lerhs , but i tink , there is nth i can do. me and her seemed tuh drift away lerhs. D: haish, what can i say? COMPLICATED. then we went tuh foodcourt eat , i alone eat. ate chicken rice :D then we went walkwalk ard PP. Cindy had no cash with her , so i lent her $2 tuh buy drink. actually , i dont expect her tuh return me that $2 lahs. its okay derhs lahs. if i really so stingy , i wouldnt have spent so much money on her lerhs. so this $2 is okay derhs lahs. went home at 4plusPM. then went tuh eat with my Dad. he asked me tuh help him drink finish his remaining Carlsberg. shocked tuh hear that. then i drink luhs , left abt half bottle only mahs. but drink till very bloated lerhs. feel like vomiting again. i tink th hangover is still there , i still feel abit FAN WEI. then now im here lerhs. blogging everything i feel now. gtg lerhs. take care peeps.

Today i met her , and i tried tuh put up a strong front in front of her. i acted as if nothing happened. abit awkward also lahs. LOL. I tried tuh be strong , but you just made me weak inside. Today i see you so caring towards "him" , trying tuh cheer "him" up , take care of "him" , & think for "him", i cant deny , i felt one kind. i just dint like it. i noe "he" is your fren , who you treasure , but who am i tuh you , compared tuh "him"? worst than a fren bahs i guess. i just felt so heartpain & disappointed. maybe , you are trying tuh be cruel tuh me , tuh make me hate you , so that i wont have tuh suffer like how i am now. but , all along , you have been treating me this way. just that i dint say out. just what is happening.

~Ni zhen me neng zhe me ren xin kan wo liu lei , que yi dian dou bu zai hu? Ni zhen me she de wo nan guo , zai wo zui xu yao ni derhs shi hou, ni que mei you shuo yi ju hua jiu zhou. wo wei ni fu chu lerhs zhe me duo , ni que mei you gan dong guo. ~
WHY HAVE YOU BEEN SO CRUEL???!!!

SCREAMED at Monday, October 26, 2009