hurts after hurts *

Saturday, January 30, 2010

i noe im kinda zilian , th rest of th photo i put in my fs. PEACE :D

SCREAMED at Saturday, January 30, 2010

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

MY BIRTHDAY is JUST 2 more days away! hahahas.

2 more days and i'll be 18 lerhs. hehehe. fast hor? LOL. well , very long never update lerhs. hmmhmms. things happened btwn me and my ROmance , Sher and her Yang. Love r/s sucks for me and Sher AT FIRST. but now Sher and her Yang okays lerhs. so glad for her lahs. last weekends were at Bugis. BORING ! met Sher , Jonas and Deping last sat for movie at Bugis , then Sunday , met Sher , Kelle , and my Romance at Bugis , AGAIN! OMG. -.- well.things btwn me and her okay lerhs lahs. dint really tok things out. but , hmms , idk how tuh say lehs. Cass told me that Kq has a bf , but Kq explained everything tuh me lerhs. finally , me and her okay lerhs and im so HAPPY :D so i sent Kq home and tuh my surprise , her parents let me in her house and sitsit. then i just sit at th living room and play with th baby luhs. LOL. so cute lahs ! omg. then wait for Kq tuh prepare tuh go back tuh SGH , and then i went back tuh bedok lerhs luhs. LOL. gonna wait for Kq tuh come out for her outing again.

life is so boring for me now. everyday go sch , aft sch go Eunos tuh meet Cass and fetch her go back SGH. then after that head back tuh Tamp library tuh do my hw , after that go and fetch Anna aft work and go home tgt with her. thats all i do during th weekdays. LOL. BORING rights? =/ you noe what , i finally passed my Maths class test. 13/18 :D although not very nice marks but at least pass lehs. LOL. i got study wan hor. LOL.

I noe you still love me , but why must you keep pushing me tuh Cass? will you really be happy if i patch with Cass? i dont care if you dont mind that i patch with her , what i care abt is do you really wanna see me tgt with her mahs? why must you be so wei da tuh let her have me , and let yourself suffer alone? you noe i hate tuh see you like this mahs? i cant deny , it hurts tuh let you go and im sorry for always hurting you. from th past till now. i just dint have th courage tuh face up and admit my fault , but now , i will okays. i noe all th faults started with me. you should noe why i let you go , becos you made me disappointed again and again. YOU LIED tuh me , so many times , that is th only reason why i let go. it isnt becos i found Cass thats why i let you go , it isnt becos i dont love you anymore. you said that you wanna help me patch with Cass , but why? why would you still treat me so nice , trying tuh matchmake me and Cass , aft so many times of me hurting you? i noe you dont feel gd , but why must you hide? i cant deny that i still care abt you , and i still syg you. by all my actions on Sunday im sure you can tell. or rather , you can feel it , cant you? you noe i still care abt you , still love you , dont you? you can act as if you dont feel anything , but my heart can tell that you are hiding. hiding all your feelings. i really dont wish tuh see you being hurt by me. i asked Cass tuh pass msg tuh you , tuh pass so many hurtful and nasty words tuh you , and when you come out , you still can tok tuh me so nicely , you still can treat me so nice. if i were tuh say that i have never been touched by what you did , im lying. i appreciated whatever you did. im not a heartless person. yeahs , i admit , behind you , i did alot of nonsense with many other girls. i noe its my fault. im sorry. i noe i have hurt you , i noe im a bad guy tuh you. i dont worth your love. i hurted you , i used harsh words on you. you said that you dont hate me , but i hate myself for hurting you. I'm sorry that i cant be th one, i cant bring you happiness. maybe when you let go of me you will feel better bahs. forget me girl , im sure you can find a much much more better one. if it hurts you tuh love me , i would rather you hate me. take care girl , im still here for you , even though just as frens. i still care abt you.

shall end my post lerhs. take care peeps. byes !

* i noe its my fault
im not good enough for you
You deserve someone better
and I'm no one tuh make you suffer *

SCREAMED at Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Friday, January 15, 2010

IT HAS BEEN A LONGGGGGGGGGGGG TIME EVER SINCE I LAST UPDATED. LOLOL. I'm sorry my dear BLOGGY. hahahas.

have been schooling luhs nowadays. yeahs , sch reopened and im now in sec 4 lerhs. finally , i must say. overall , still okays lahs. im studying hard like how i did last year. yeahs , hw after sch, thats my routine everyday. BORING rights? LOL. but , NO CHOICE. sutdies is still my priority afterall. LOLS. th only diff is that almost every sch day after sch , i will fetch Anna from work if she ends at 6. so ended up every time also reach home at abt 10plus PM. then reach home lerhs before i go tuh bed i still always tok on th phone with Anna till abt 12AM then can go tuh slp. yeahs. my life is full of Anna , studies , and friends. im so lazy tuh blog in much now. all i can say is that , my Romance is OUT of my life lerhs. she told me too many lies lerhs. so forget it. i dont bother anymore. enough is enough. i cant deny that it hurts tuh let go , but i have tuh. NOW , im SINGLE for abt 2 months lerhs. LONG rights? but okay lahs , at least got th freedom tuh go and hong around. LOL. but i think i love A***. but i wont be with her now cos she has a "BF" lerhs. abt me and A*** , i dont wanna state much down here. quite confidential lahs. yeahs. it doesnt matter lahs. have been drinking quite alot these few months. mostly with Anna lahs. cos we both stay quite near each other mahs. LOL. yeahyeah. this year N lvl lerhs , i will strive hard derhs. yeahs , really hope i can score at least 2 A1s - ( Eng and POA). all th best tuh me , and i will work hard ! :D hahahas. shall end here lerhs. take care everyone. wish me th best of luck in everything alrights? thanks :D

SCREAMED at Friday, January 15, 2010

Friday, January 1, 2010

Yesterday,
went drink aft work with my colleagues at Tamp. drank Carlsberg and Absolute Vodka. Omg , it was a miracle that i wasnt even drunk aft mixing liqour and beer. hahas. just that my head was heavy and was very hyper till i went back home lerhs still shout here and there. hahas. reached home at abt 3plus AM. but before that i sent Anna home first lahs. wahs , she very power siahs. vomited in th cab. luckily th cab driver got plastic bag if not , selamat lahs ! hahahas. ytd quite boring lahs. work and work. drink and drink. and slept at 4AM. Zzz. thats abt it.

Today,
woke up at 8AM tuh wake Anna up cos she has tuh work at 10AM. after that i went back tuh slp. hahhaas. then 9plus , when Anna otw tuh work , she called me and i was stil half aslp when i was toking tuh her on th phone. i just answered her "hmm , arghs " only. hahahas. tired lahs , cant blame me mahs. hahahas. after that , woke up at 1 plus PM and went tuh have me lunch , then slept back again till 4 PM , then wake up and bath. then went tuh fetch Anna from work. she ended work at 6 PM. then bring her go eat , slack , and sent her home. so here i am , again , blogging in.

NOWADAYS ,
LOVE=
messed up. heart is still not stable even though my mind has already been made up , that i wanna be with my Romance. i do miss her , but.. idk how much i love her , or rather , do i REALLY love her. sighs. My love for her can be felt at times , but at other times , it cant be felt. i really dont noe what tuh do. taking things slowly perhaps?

FRIENDSHIP=
currently on th way tuh losing one of my brother , th one who i have always trusted and who is closest tuh me. for a week , she has not been returning my calls and replying my msgs. when i dont even noe whats gg on , why she is angry with me , what wrong did i do , or rather , have i really done smth wrong?? i tried tuh recall back what i have done , but i still cant figure out what wrong have i done. i just wondered , why must she kip everything tuh herself if she is unhappy with me , or what i did , why cant she just tell me off , confront me , straightaway. why must she drag until now , then slowly let me realise her drifting away from me , just why must she handle this ting this way? if im really a brother of hers , why cant she just be straightfoward with me? must wait till i realise th changes in her , when OTHERS noe what went wrong btwn me and her , when i noe nothing , until i kip trying tuh msg her , then she say wanna meet me up and tok abt it? Yeahs , tmr i meeting her tuh tok abt it , whatever th prob was. frankly , i was very anxious , what is th prob btwn me and her? i have never encounter frenship prob like this , and this is th first time. becos , usually if ever a fren treats me like this , i would just fuck care. but she is a brother who i really treasure and appreciate , and i wouldnt want tuh lose a fren like her. oh God , just what went wrong btwn us? just tell me what tuh do anyone , for tmr , i dont noe what will things end up like. its scary. Arghs !

anw , TODAY IS NEW YEAR ! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE ! sorry , i got no mood for any new year wishes or anything. finally i can say this month , im turning 18 ! hahahahs ! my birthday is coming :D heh heh heh. shall end here. take care everyone ! all th best ! BYES !

SCREAMED at Friday, January 01, 2010