hurts after hurts *

Sunday, May 24, 2009

im afraid of nothing but hurts...

im here tuhh update again lerhs. hahas. today morning woke up at 10plus. cos of th heat. wahs. i really cannot stand th weather mans. so hot lahs cans. burn me tuhh wake up mans. ytd nite slept at 4plus am lehs. wahs damn tired luhs. haish. z.z today dint go anywhere lahs. brought my younger bro tuhh th hairdresser tuhh cut his hair. i instructed th hairdresser how tuh cut his hair derhs. hahas :) after cutting hair, we went tuhh jalan jalan at my house nearby luhs. nth tuh do also. bought a colour wax just now. hahas. purple colour derhs. hahas. CINDY like PURPLE. haish. forget abt it lahs. then just now went tuhh bedok inter tuh top up my ezlink card. then actually wanna meet my XINGAN derhs, but i no time , gotta reach home by 10pm. so dint meet her luhs. sianns. miss my xingan lahs. hahas. so long never see her lerhs. hahas.

ytd i tok on th phone with my LOVER and my BUATOH. toked craps. hahas. too sians. but my LOVER cried you noe ! my BUATOH dont noe tell her what , then she cry lerhs. )): dint noe how tuh comfort her though. cos im not HIM. and i noe that ONLY HIM can make smile. so i just kip quiet luhs. what can i say though? what i say ,she might not will listen derhs mahs. haish. so what can i do? haish. but my LOVER gotta noe that no matter what happens, im always here for her derhs. my shoulders will always be there for her tuh lean on derhs. im 24/7 free for her derhs. :) haish. felt so helpless not being able tuh help her anything. noeing that she was crying , but i cant be there with her , beside her. haish. we stay far apart lerhs mahs now. so hardly can meet often. haish. it hurts me tuh see her cry T.T hope she will be happy soon. haish.

tmr going back tuh gals home at 2pm. sians. dont wanna go back lahs ! >.<> 30thjuly09 :)) wait for me okays frens , eps my LOVER , JOANNA JIE , and my BUATOH. come out lerhs , i wanna celebrate mans. hope my LOVER and my BUATOH will make themselves FREE on that day bahs? hahas. next sat dont noe can come out mahs. cos this week is th last week of sch lerhs. then th officer say that i cannot come out during th june holidays. knn ! fuck mans. i wan come out lahs. cb. arghs. inside there will make me go crazy derhs lehs. DX hopefully next sat can come out bahs. take care peeps. i shall end here lerhs. shall update again as soon as i can bahs. byes:)

Labels: waiting for my MRS RIGHT tuhh appear in my life...

SCREAMED at Sunday, May 24, 2009

Saturday, May 23, 2009

CONFUSE CONFUSE CONFUSE...

hellos. im here tuhh update again lerhs. hahas. finally my exams are over lerhs. hahas. RELAX lerhs. heh heh. well , had my POA exams on thurs. well, i MUST get 100 marks mans. i dont care. even if i cant get 100marks , i must get ABOVE 95 mans. hahas. actually i have a dream tuhh be an accountant tuhh earn as much money as i can in th future. i simply LOVES money mans. hahas. this world is realistic though. hahas. i wanna be RICH lahs. hahas. i will work hard towards my goal derhs. hahas. well. this week theres nth much happening luhs. hahas. guess what, im having crushes everywhere. some here and some there. hahas. dont noe why also lahs. hahas. aiyahs, currently cant find anyone who is TRUE and SERIOUS so no point me being serious also mahs. hahas. rite? hahas. having alot of CONFUSE feeling now. haish. VERY LUAN lahs. well , im afraid that my feeling for one of my EX will come back lehs. i dont noe also lahs. My that EX now have BF lerhs , and i noe i should not let my feeling for her come back. but she and her BF derhs RS also not very stable. haish. COMPLICATED lahs. haish. seeing her suffering in her RS with her current BF simply makes me feel so heartpain for her mans. haish. i dont wanna see her being trapped in th COMPLICATED and UNFIXED RS with her bf luhs. but what can i say or do? haish. anw im thankful enuf that she is now my best fren lahs. hahas. and i simply love her in what ever way..:)) in dorm , i think i having some passing feeling with a gal. lols. dont noe also lahs. but that gal is str8 , so i tink just forget it. its just passing cloud niahs mahs. hahas. saw cindy on friday. i walked pass th dining hall cos i was on th way tuh see doc. then saw her and she saw me too. then she GIN at me. nb, what i do siahs? arghs fuck lahs. then this cass' attitude towards me has changed. fuck mans. told you lerhs , every gal also like that. i dont wanna give a fuck anymore lerhs. haish. feeling like breaking up with her luhs. she has not been able tuhh prove tuhh me that she really love me. ytd , cass ask me tuhh shut up when i pass a joking remark saying that she changed lerhs. nabei. she wasnt like this before derhs luhs. haish. i still tot of doing smth for her for me and her 1 month anni which is 4 days later. but i think now no need lerhs lahs. argh. fuck care lahs. maybe see until after me and her one month anni , she still like this mahs , if she still like this , im just gonna BREAK with her lerhs. yeahs yeahs. that will do. i gave her a chance lerhs , but if she dont wanna treasure it , too bad luhs. hahas. abt K.Q , maybe will try out with her when she is out bahs. hahas. maybe if me and cass break lerhs , i will give K.Q a chance bahhs? hahas. give her a chance tuh prove tuhh me that she is TRUE tuhh me bahs? hahas. dont noe yet lahs. haish. but at th back of my mind , i do wanna be with my EX. haish. as for CINDY , i reallu dont noe what tuh say lerhs. after reading her blog. haish. i cant say that i have fully forgotten abt her but im in th process of forgetting her lerhs. i dont think of her as often as i used tuhh lerhs. haish. although there is still times when i will think of her , but not so often lerhs lahs. hahas. have been focusing on smth else thats why. hahas. shall stop toking abt LOVE lerhs bahs. hahas. hmms, i cant wait for my results mans. hahas. feeling so anxious mans. hahas. just now i went tuhh see th doc inside, then came out at 3 plus. thats late luhs. knn. th staff in gal home told me mother tuh come and fetch me at 9 am but th staff dint tell my mom that i cant come out at 9am cos i need tuhh see doc first and can only come out at 1030am. nb rite? so my mom say she is not free tuh wait till 1030 am. then she came at 3 plus tuhh fetch me luhs. shag. so late then can come out. haish. dint go anywhere today. hahas. lazy. lols. later my LOVER coming over tuh my house lehs. she having some probs with her bf bahs i think. hahas. well , i will always be here for her derhs mahs. hahas. kaes lahs. i shall end here lerhs. hahas. take care peeps. shall update again soon. byes:)

hellos. im back tuhh blog lerhs. hahas. just now met my LOVER lerhs. then she pei me tuhh go tuh atm tuh transfer money. however, she look very sad too. haish. she dint tok much tuh me lahs. haish. she having some prob with her bf bahs. haish. it hurts me tuh see her like that luhs. haish. so sad and suffering. haish. but i cant do anything. cant be of help. haish. alot of things came into my mind when i see her upset face. haish.

"maybe she wont have tuhh go through all these if me and her dint break? "
"maybe she would be happier if we could go back tuh th past? cos at least i wont hurt her this way and she wont be this hurt."

but no point thinking all these lerhs lahs. me and her derhs thing is in th past lerhs. and i dont think me and her can ever go back tuh th past anymore lerhs. exactly th past. NEVER lerhs bahs. haish. then i pei her tuh go buy bubble tea. then go huhu. after that i send her tuh th bus stop quite a distance away tuhh take bus tuhh meet her bf. haish. actually initially she dint want me tuh pei her tuh th bus stop derhs , cos its quite a distance away, but i insisted , so she relented. then i pei her go bus stop luhs. haish. she look so glum today. haish. so after she left, i went home luhs. haish. and here i am, blogging again. haish. i miss her. haish. wondering what she doing now. hows her and her bf... haish. hope they are ok bahs. shall end here lerhs. tired lerhs. take care peepos. shall update again soon bahs. byes:)

Labels: LOST and SO CONFUSED...

SCREAMED at Saturday, May 23, 2009

Monday, May 18, 2009

ME , my BUATOH ADELINE , and my LOVER KATHERINE((:

This is my BELOVED LOVER KATHERINE LEONG LI PENG! I LOVE MY LOVER !

<--This is ME , EMERSON =D

<--Finally my BUATOH ADELINE XD

SCREAMED at Monday, May 18, 2009

here's some of my CURRENT GALFREN's pics... she's th one in PINK((:

SCREAMED at Monday, May 18, 2009

Sunday, May 17, 2009

loving someone who dont loves me and not loving someone who loves me is STUPID...

hey peeps. im here tuhh update again((: 1 month dint update lerhs , and alot of thing happened in that 1 month. all UNPLEASANT things so shall not tok abt it anymore lerhs bahhs. ytd i just came out after 1 month of suspension. hahahas. ytd went tuhh cut hair becos my DM caught my fringe and made me cut it until like so helmet head. so ytd went tuhh cut hair again luhs. at least it look better now. ((: today i woke up at 11am. hahas. then went tuhh get something tuhh eat. after that i went out tuhh meet my lover katherine at her house there. then together with her , we went tuhh meet my BUATOH adeline at tam mrt. we went tuhh tampines one walk walk , see see, and joke around with all those lady lady things. katherine is th only gal , me and adeline are all bungs. hahas. so we these two bungs are just behaving like monkeys , joke and laugh around. hahas. we messed with those lady lady outwear and stuffs, pretending that we want tuhh buy those lady things. FUNNY. hahas. it has been so long ever since we meet up , just th 3 of us go walk walk , and its been so long ever since i was this happy lerhs. seriously , i really enjoyed th outing with them just now. hahas. very long never joke until like that with my BUATOH lerhs. hahas. HAPPY(((((((((((((((: adeline wore a black formal top , with a white berms. and me , i wore a grey formal top , with a black skinnies. as for katherine, she wore tights with i dont noe what top, it look BIG.. hahas. so from tampines one we went tuhh tm popular tuhh buy things. i dint buy anything becos i cant find th thing i wanted tuh buy. but katherine bought file and her things luhs. hahas. after that , we went tuh huhu then katherine had tuhh go off for dinner with her sister. so left we two bungs , me and my BUATOH adeline. hahas. you noe why i cal her BUATOH? try pronouncing th word "BROTHER" with some kinda WEIRD slang, doesnt it sound like , BUATOH? hahas. thats th reason why. me and adeline are BROTHERS. hahas. so after my lover katherine went off, me and adeline went tuh tm 77th street becos her theres some probs with her lighter and she wanna see if th 77th street ppl can help her with her lighter. after that , i went tuhh shop around , finding a BELATED mothers' day gift for my mom. went tuhh alot of shops tuh get a suitable gift for my mom but couldnt find any. so we went tuhh century square tuhh continue searching for a suitable gift for my mom. and finally we found a shop that has what im looking for. so i bought a soft toy flower and a mothers' day card for my mom. hahas. after tat , we went tuhh tam inter mac tuhh buy mac for my mom. after that, adeline followed me back tuhh my house. i passed my mom those things and then jiu go my house downstairs slack with my BUATOH adeline lerhs. slack slack awhile , then i sent adeline tuhh th bustop cos she wanna take bus home. pei her wait for her bus then i go home lerhs luhs. hahas. saw my teacher when i was on th way back home. hahas. by th time i reached home , it was already 9plus pm lerhs. hahas. then went tuhh bath and here i am, blogging! hahas. guess what , im attached again lerhs. hahas. im currently attached tuh a gal name cassandra. she is a gal from gals home too. hahas. well, i cant say that i love her cos i jio her out of anger , frustrations , and etc etc lahs. but since i have already jio her lerhs , then i will give her a chance tuhh prove tuh me that she really love me luhs. hahas. as for cindy , actually i still love her lahs. haish. but after so much thing happened , i really dont noe how tuhh love her lerhs. she made me so CHENG XIM lerhs. whoever who has her blog link , go and read her blog and you wil noe why lerhs. not only things she wrote in her blog lahs. alot of things lahs , thats why im so CHENG XIM with her lahs. haish. i noe she dont love me. its obvious enuf. haish. my heart for her is almost DEAD lerhs. haish. but i noe by my heart that i still love her. just that... haish. i shouldnt have love her luhs. haish. forget it lahs. theres nth i can do also mahs. i cant possibly force her tuhh love me mahhs. i think she still havent forget abt JH i noe she has been think and missing JH all along. haish. i noe ALOT of thing lerhs lahs. haish. maybe tuhh her , anything tuh do with ME doesnt concern her anymore lerhs. or it has NEVER concern her at all before. i dont noe lahs. fuck lahs. arghhs. everything is just so complicated. kaes lahs , shall end here lerhs. im tired lerhs. take care peeps. tmr have exams. shall turn in early today. shall update again soon.

-i love you but does it even matter now?-
-loving someone who dont love me and not th one who love me is real STUPID but i just cant help it-
-i'll try my best tuhh let u go-

SCREAMED at Sunday, May 17, 2009