hurts after hurts *

Sunday, April 12, 2009

these are th pics of cindy.. th one i love is HER... haish..

SCREAMED at Sunday, April 12, 2009

hellos. im here again tuhh update lerhs. hahas. i just reached home niahhs. lols. sians lahhs, tmr going back tuhh that hell again liaos. haish. dont wanna go back lahs. can die mans. next week will be going tuhh peni with my bro. hahas. just now i went tuhh bedok inter tuhh fetch joyce. hahas. was wearing until very slack cos bedok inter only mahs. hahas. was wearing a formal top with a stripe black berms luhs. hahas. met she and her bf. hahas. then we went tuhh eat at th BIG market there luhs. lols. sians mans. they eat but i never eat. hahas. im on diet mahs. and some more so malu tuhh eat infront of them mahs. hahas. after that i brought them over tuhh my house downstairs and slack. hahas. so sians lahs. she got bring her lappy so was seeing her playing with her lappy luhs. lols. after that i brought them over tuhh th coffee shop tuhh find my dad. and it was drizzling lahs. luckily i brought an umbrella with me. but there was 3 person. so me and joyce shared one umbrella luhs. and i tink her bf see us sharing umbrella and was JEALOUS luhs. LMAO! wtf lahs cans. hahas. after that i passed my dad th letter lerhs jiu gave her money tuhh pay th fine lerhs luhs. hahas. den i went tuhh th lan shop nearby cos i wanna help cindy print her pic. and th com was like damn lagged lahs. OMG. paid 2 bucks but i just used th com for like half an hour? wtf. and th printer wasnt working so dint managed tuhh print anything out lahs. *DISAPPOINTED* after that i send them off tuhh th bustop cos they wanna go aljunied tuhh watch bball match. from there i went back home luhs. hahas. so sians lahs. hahas. they were like so loving and sweet lahhs. and im like a lightbulb over there. WTH. nvm. haish. i no single mahs. of cos will kinda envy them lahs. haish. if only i and HER can be... haish. forget it lahhs. its quite impossible lerhs now. so many guys wanna chase after her. haish. what can i do? haish. just now i called her but she dont wanna tok tuhh me. so nvm luhs. haish. now th time is 715pm lerhs. she must inside that hell lerhs bahs. haish. sians lahs. why she 2 days 1 nite siahhs. haish. shag lahs. shit. im having a headache lerhs. arghhs. haishh. tonite gonna sleep early bahhs i tink. lols. tmr schling mahs. hahas. i wan my POA paper back lahs. wanna noe my marks. hahas. tmr can see her lerhhs. hahas. but it also means that i gonna see her and aephix sweet sweet lerhs. arghhhhhs. *SOT* haish. shall end here lerhs bahs. shall update again when i can bahs. yahhs? hahas. take care peeps. see you:D

SCREAMED at Sunday, April 12, 2009

im here tuhh update again lerhs. hahas. this moring woke up at 8am like that luhs. cos of th noise that my bro and dad made lahs. so noisy lahs cans. wtf. irritating lahs. then wake up lerhs, brush teeth lerhs , jiu go eat breakfast luhs. hahas. sians. very tired lahs. wapiang. later joyce coming over tuhh my house here tuhh pass me th hsa letter cos i tols her that i need tuhh show my dad first before he wil agree tuhh give me money tuhh pay th fine. so she say she wil come over tuhh my house here and pass me th letter tuhh let my dad see luhs. hahas. later have tuhh go tuhh bedok inter tuhh fetch her cos she dont noe who tuhh come my house here. wth. nvm lahs. its ok luhs. understandable lahs. she stay at yishun , so she dont noe abt bedok area lahs. hahas. just now i called cindy. but she was sleeping lahs. hahas. let her slp luhs. she is tired i guess. cos her mom told me that she slept very late last nite. lols. she later going back tuhh that hell at 7. shag siahhs. haish. why she not 3days 2nites? haish. monday then can see her lerhs. but monday i very late then end sch lehs. 430 lehs. can you imagine? yi ding lei si derhs luhs. hahas. go back dorm cfm DOU derhs luhs. hahas. guess what , ytd nite patrina msg me and tell me that find one day meet her , she wanna pass me all those things that i gave her last time. and also take back those things that she had given me. such as letters, hp chain, tshirt. hahas. wth. i also dont noe when i'll be free tuhh meet her lahs. she stay at seng kang lehs. sians. shall see how luhs. sians lahs. tmr going tuhh sch lerhs. hopefully tmr my POA teacher will give us back our POA test paper bahs. hahas. i cant wait tuhh see my marks lahs. hahas. i want tuhh TOP my class lahs. can i ? haish. i will NU LI derhs. hahas. everyone , help me da qi alrite ? hahas. *BHB* just now cindy called me and she told me that she got BF lerhs! wahs! *CIRES* she told me that got 3 person like her. wtf. how cans? haish. what i mean is yahs , cans , but why ?? haish. i mean why she must go and accpt those ppl? haish. arghhhhhs. shall end here lerhs. take care peeps. byes:D

-what can i do tuhh make you trust me again?-
-im stil waiting for you tuhh be back by my side gal-

12thApril'09

SCREAMED at Sunday, April 12, 2009

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Did i not love you enuf??

Did i not love you well enuf???
Did i not love you well enuf??? hellos. im here tuhh update again lerhs. haish. this week has been a FUCKED-UP week for me lahs. have been crying too much lerhs. haish. was damn sad lahs cans. haish. almost every nite i also will cry myself tuhh sleep lahs. haish. in my dorm , there is one bung call Ae'phix , who has current current with my EX, Cindy. haish. at first i did not believe aephix when she tell me that she and cindy current current derhs , but as days passes by, i witnessed them being close and loving, calling each other DARLING, i also witnessed cindy drawing things for her , writing letters tuhh her , doing alot of things for aephix, etc. and that has really made me SOT. im really going crazy soon. wo zhen derhs hen xing ku. dang wo kan dao cindy he aephix tian mi derhs shi hou, it really breaks my heart. haish. but what could i say? NOTHING. i just had tuhh shut my mouth up and bear with th pains. haish. really was damn broken lahs. haish. was crying and crying but i dint show my tears infront of cindy lahs. haish. i acted as if i dint feel anything lahs. haish. cos i just wan tuhh see her happy niahs lahs. haish. but deep inside im bleeding lahs. haish. i dont noe how long more i can bear with th pains tuhh see her and aephix being so sweet and loving lahs. haish. im afraid that one day i might really break down completely mans. haish. i kept on telling myself tuhh be strong and that i cant shed anymore tears for her lerhs but i just cant do it. haish. wahs, staying inside one dorm with her and aephix , i will NEVER fail tuhh cry derhs luhs. haish. sometime i even felt like running also got lahs. haish. its really killing me deep inside lerhs mans. haish. i really do wonder lehs, why she will suddenly like aephix derhs lehs. is giving up and falling for someone new that easy for her? so far from what i noe abt her , i dont tink she is that kinda person who falls for someone easily derhs and who easily forget her LOVE easily derhs but why now she is falling for aephix ? it really kept me wondering mans. me and her just break not long only lehs. today is th 13th days that we are APART lerhs. haish. damn sad lahs. but what can i do tuhh win her trust and heart back? now that there is aephix derhs chun zai , i suppose it will be harder for me tuhh win her trust and heart back lerhs bahs. haish. why must she like aephix? aephix really love her more than i do mehs? haish. maybe aephix derhs TIAO JIAN bi wo hao, ke shi AI QING NA LI KE YI NA LAI ZHUO BI JIAO NE? i really dont believe that aephix love her more than i do luhs. im sure i love her more than that aephix luhs. bi jing aephix got her own gf outside mahs. and im sure aephix loves her gf JUJU luhs. jing ran aephix you lerhs JUJU , na wei she me ta hai yao yong you cindy derhs ai ne? wei she me yao lead cindy on ne? haish. i do wan tuhh fight with aephix tuhh win back my cindy derhs but i dont noe where is my courage tuhh do so lerhs. maybe its becos im afraid that cindy might choose aephix over me , thats why i dont wanna do anything. haish. cos i noe i cant do anything! haish. do anyone noe how im feeling rite now mahs? haish. how hurt i was when i saw cindy and aephix derhs QING MI mahs? when i saw cindy putting so much efforts for aephix and doing so much for aephix???? haish. th pains are UNBEARABLE mans. haish. ytd, i wasnt feeling that good and out of a sudden , i just wanna be alone so i after eating my lunch, i went into my room. cos i wanna shut myself up from seeing and hearing abt cindy and aephix. i need a break , my heart is tired of bleeding lerhs. and in my room, i did something WRONG. haish. it has been some time lerhs ever since i last did that. and i have done that again ytd. when im all alone in my room. haish. cos i guess thats th only way tuhh sooth th pains i felt. haish. seriously , what else can i do? haish. then half way through, i stopped becos cindy , duan yi and li ti came into my room. haish. at that point of time i really dont feel like toking so i dint tok much tuhh them luhs. and they tot i was trying tuhh drag feeling at them lahs. i just wanna be alone at that point of time mahs. hope they wont be offended bahs. haish. arghhs. im really going crazy soon lerhs lahs. >.<>.< color="#ff0000"> FLYING lahs cans. HAHAHAHAHAS:DDDDD hahas. but when i realised that she was just joking and afterall she still likes aephix , wahs, that kinda pain is like....... ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! you noe , this kinda pain are just difficult for me tuhh explain derhs lahs. haish. but i still cant say anything mahs. i also cant force her not tuhh like aephix mahs. so i just remained silent luhs. haish. sad also like that. cant do anything. haish. im really very tired now. ytd slept for 2+ hours niahs. not enuf sleep luhs. haish. dont noe if i will sleep tonite mahs. but i tink i wil lahs. cos im seriously very tired lerhs. haish. this morning , i went tuhh th tan tock seng there with ms susan and ameratuhh see doctor abt th TB thingy. then i took blood test cos i last time used tuhh drink alcohol mahs. after that , went back tuhh that hell luhs. den actually i can choose tuhh stay at th counselling room tuhh wait for my mom tuhh come and fetch me back or go up dorm and wait for my mom tuhh come. i chose tuhh go up dorm tuhh wait becos i tot i could see her this way cos supposingly she was not going home derhs. but when i reached my dorm, i found out from my frens that she went home already. so nvm luhs. my mom came at around 12 plus like that luhs. haish. when i reached home , i found out from my small bro that one of my fren used private num tuhh call me. and th first person who came into my mind was HER, Cindy. so i called her and asked her if she got call me or nots. and true enuf, she did. actually i was quite happy that she even bothered tuhh call me when she was out. cos this means that she you wo derhs xin. hahas. :DDD HAPPY! hees:D i whole day never go out, just stayed at home and rot luhs. toked on th phone with katherine , my manjer and msg luhs. sians rite? haish. but what tuhh do? im too tired tuhh move my ass out of my house lerhs. hahas. sians lahs. guess i wil be going back tuhh that hell on monday bahs. haish. can i just not go back? i dont wanna go back and see and hear abt aephix and her lahs. haish. but i got no choice lerhs. haish. shall end here lerhs bahs. take care everyone. shall update again soon bahs. byes.

this is for you BIATCH___*

ting shuo ni bi cong qian kai xin, wo hai neng you zhen yang de qing xu
chu le zhu fu, wo bu xiang zai duo shuo yi ju
ta hen hao, ta duo hao, zhe xie wo bing bu xiang yao zhi dao
zai nan wang diao, duo kuang lie de yong bao, zhe hui yi ta zhen mo gei bu dao
ta hen hao, he wo bu tong de hao, zui hou shi shui bu zhong yao
yin wei wo zhi dao ai qing bu neng zuo bi jiao
jiu suan shi jin tian huan yi ge ren yi kao, ming tian shui you bi shui hao
ai kan bu dao, ting bu dao, zen mo zuo bi jiao

-NAN DAO WO MEN ZHEN DERHS MEI YOU JI HUI ZAI YI QI LERHS MAHS???-
-WO YI RAN HAI SHI YI YANG AI NI-
11th April'09

Labels: ni neng bu neng gou zai gei wo yi ci ji hui qu ai ni?

SCREAMED at Saturday, April 11, 2009

Saturday, April 4, 2009

CONFUSION---

hellos. im here tuhh update again lerhs. monday i went back tuhh that hell and i saw cindy in my dorm lerhs. but i dint tok tuh her much lahs. when i went into my room, my dormate arniza came and told me that got ppl write letter tuhh me under my pillow. then i ask her who wrote derhs but she ask me tuhh just go read niahs. surprisingly, th sender was Cindy. i read th letter half way then i went tuhh bath lerhs. i just put th letter aside luhs. den i pass cindy her things luhs. she said thank you but i dint say anything. i just walk off cos i dont noe how tuhh tok tuhh her. after that i bath finish lerhs den i continue tuhh read bcak th letter luhs. in th letter she said alot of things lahs. shall not go into details bahs. haish. no point going into details lahs. after that i in th dorm i acted as if i was very happy and have got over her lerhs , i tok tuhh my fren until very loud and happy. haish. cos i dont wan tuhh let her noe that im broken inside. that will only make her feel guilty niahs. i dont wan. i wan her tuhh be happy. thats why i have tuhh do that. haish. den cass shouted tuhh me. i shout back tuhh her luhs. me and cass relationship is "dar" mahs. so i called cass "dar" luhs. after shouting tuhh cass, i went tuhh play com. i showed cindy th things i did for her. after that she wrote me a letter , she said that " NI SHUO FANG QI JIU FANG QI, ZHEN DERHHS YOU NA ME RONG YI MAHS?" den she also got say ask me if i noe how she feel when i call cass "dar" mahs. she say until like she still love me like that. my fren also got tell me that cindy tell her that she still love me. i shan't mention name but all i can say is that th person is th same dorm as me lahhs. actually quite happy tuhh hear that lahs. haish. but she seems tuhh be so cold tuhh me lehs. haish. seldom tok tuhh me also. but nvm lahs, i noe its awkward lahs. haish. cos we just break only mahs. haish. then when i show her th things i did for her, she saw my "ex gf " list then she saw patrina name in th list. wahs, shit mans. then i faster push her away from th com and deleted th list. haish. i kept denying that i dont noe who is patrina cos i dont wan her tuhh anyhow think. i dont wan her tuhh misunderstand anything. just now i came back for hl that time i wrote a FS msg tuhh her tuhh explain tuhh her abt patrina thing. hopefully she understand bahs. haish. everyday after sch i will walk 3 bustops derhs distance just tuhh buy her lollipops and smuggle in for her cos she like tuh eat lollipops mahs. wahs, you noe how far i have tuhh walk mahs? wth luhs. until my leg wanna break also got lahs. cos around my sch there is no mama shop mahs. all bungalows and private housing. so no choice have tuhh walk until so far just tuh buy lollipops for her and end up i always late reporting back. but for her , nvm lahs. i dont noe why until now i still love her siahs. haish. why is it so hard tuhh forget her? haish. i will try my best tuhh forget her derhs lahs.heard that she wanna meet a guy during her next hl. haish. which is 2 weeks away from now. haish. sadded siahs. GUY lehs. wtf. argh. what can i say? nothing luhs. cos now im just a fren tuhh her niahs. haish. heart pain siahs. haish. den wed all th way she treat me is like very damn cold and in addition, she type in th com that she is a weird gal who is IMPOSSIBLE tuhh get. wahs, at that point of time i was like th whole person sink like that lahhs. haish. arghhhh. den i became very emo lerhs. cried all th way. but i never show my tears infront of her lahs. as i said , i dont wanna make her feel guilty for making me sad. haish. shall not tok abt this lerhs lahs. haish. today afternoon i went tuhh tam inter tuhh take my huhu from my MOW RONG'S gf, BERLINDER. with that irritating SHI HUI. hahas. i wore until quite slack tuhh meet them luhs. cos tam only mahs. dont need tuhh dress up nice nice derhs. hahas. just wore a formal shirt and a berms with a slipper luhs. lols.den went back tuhh meet my parents at th coffee shop luhs. hahas. went tuhh eat lerhs den go home lerhs luhs. hahas. shall end here lerhs bahs. i going tuhh go downstair buy thing lerhs. shun bian meet my fren Joey go huhu. hahas. take care peeps. tmr im going back tuhh that hell lerhs. arghh. stressed mans. haish. byes)):

-is it wrong tuhh still be loving you?-
-is there really no more possibility for you tuhh fall for me again?-

4th april'09

Labels: im still struggling tuhh forget you and it simply hurts damn much

SCREAMED at Saturday, April 04, 2009