things happened ytd . and im just so speechless . got myself injured , both physically and emotionally . yahs , i noe im weak . dont judge me , this is my life , let me live it th way i want it tuh be . advices are welcome , but not judgement pls . i had enuf . went tuh sing K with them ytd , and some shits just happened aft that . shall not elaborate . im just so tired . and frustrated with everything .

Today ,

th conjecture that i have been having was proven right . finally . S fell for T . amazing huh ? LAUGHS . i was totally lost , and didnt noe what tuh do when i noe that . im speechless , directionless , blank , devastated , hopeless , idk what else i felt . as if i lost everything , including myself . i dont noe who am i , why im here in th world . why im doing all these , aft all that which happened . i noe im dumb , im stupid , everything started with me . i just feel like escaping . from everything in th world , including myself . i did nonsense . things that i dont usually do anymore . i dont noe why i did that , as i said , i lost myself . thanks tuh S . im sorry , i really dont noe what else i can do tuh make all those feelings stop . i may be foolish . i dont wish tuh tink , but i cant help it . i really cant . tear is already a regular customer tuh my face , and blood is also regular customer tuh my skin . im NUMB . by everything that hit me . i can no longer learn how tuh love . not at th moment . its enuf . i had enuf . i dont wish tuh be th reason tuh separate them . im fine , i noe they like each other , just go ahead . i dont mind . if my love for S is stopping S from being with th one she love , then just treat it as i dont love S anymore . it doesnt really matter anw . it makes no diff . becos i finally realise , that everything is over . one is my gd bro , th other one is th one I'm so crazily in love with . i would rather sacrify myself then . for you , i can do anything , but not stop th love , and erase th memories of my mind . take care my love . i dont wish tuh see you suffering in a one sided situation with T , like what im gg through now with you . i dont want tuh see you being hurt . hope my ego will be of help in this situation now . i just dont wish tuh show .

For S :

Ting dao wo de dian hua　

Xiang le yi sheng jiu zan ting　

Hui bu hui shi ni

Wo zong huai yi　

Yin wei zhe yuan yin　

Xin qing bu wen ding

Wo men zhi jian de wen ti　

Shi wo bu xiang xin ni　

Min gan you duo xin

Pa ni bian le xin　

Yin wei ai ni　

Hai pa shi qu ni

Ai de tian qi zong shi yin qing bu ding　

Ai de qing xu ye zai huan xiao zhong ku qi

Baby）xiang dui ni shuo sheng dui bu qi　

Yong cuo le fang shi qu ai ni

Yin wei wo tai zai yi

（ru guo mei you ni）

wo de shi jie zhi sheng hui yi

Mei tian zhi mian dui gu ji　

Yi lai bu ji　

Zai shuo wo ai ni

Zi cong na tian fen shou hou　

Ting bu zhu lei di　

Xiang nian yi ge ren

Neng wang ji zi ji　

Rang wo ai ni　

Shen me dou yuan yi

Ru guo neng zai yu jian ni　

Ba ni bao jin　

Cong ci bu fen li

Jue bu fang qi　

Wo yao gao su ni　

OS:Baby I'm sorry

Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming 'bout you baby
You were dreaming of me
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time

Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really really do

Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there's only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces

And we were letting go of something special
Something we'll never have again
I know, I guess I really really know