hurts after hurts *

Sunday, March 29, 2009

hurts after hurts , trying tuhh force myself tuhh be happy just becos i dont wan you tuhh feel guilty for hurting me...

im here tuhh update again lerhs. hahas. this week actually nth much lahhs. haish. have been studying luhs. hahas. poa test coming again lerhhs. i wanna top th class lahhs!! >.< well, Cindy is coming down tuhh DRS lerhs. haish. i really dont noe how tuhh face her siahhs. haish. ytd she broke with me. 290309 2:24am. haish. was damn heartbroken lahs. haish. but i act as if im alrite. but actually deep inside im tearing and bleeding. haish. me and her coming 7 months lerhs den she break with me. haish. at first she dint go str8 tuhh th point and tell me that she wanna break with me , she just beat around th bush. haish. she say that cass really love me, do alot of thing for me , and do alot of cb thing out of jealousy. haish. she kip persuading me tuhh go with cass. den i ask her if she is trying tuhh initiate a break up and she say yahhs. wahs, at that point of time i was really damn broken lahs. but i just remained silent i dint say anything much. i cried like fuck in silence , but i tink she also can hear that im crying bahs. and she kip asking me not tuh cry , and ask me if i hate her mahs. haish. i noe she was trying tuhh cheer me up and she feel guilty for hurting me. haish. honestly i really dont wanna let her go derhhs but since she chose tuhh let me go , there is nothing i can say or do lerhs. i have tuhh respect her decision. haish. i dont noe. i really dont noe. haish. i just too tired and hurt lerhs. haish. kinda disappointed that she will initiate a break up tuhh me lahs. haish. at first i tot me and her can last this time round derhs but it seems that im wrong lerhs. haish. ytd nite i cried myself tuhh slp. end up wake up my eyes abit swollen like that. haish. its seriously hurting me too much lerhs. haish. until i dont even noe what i should say lahs. haish. but she say that me and her can still be frens. cant be lovers but can be frens. haish. i hope that she will still treat me as fren bahs. haish. as long as she is happy can lerhs bahs. haish. i tink i go back dorm i just gonna do my own things and ignore th rest bahs. haish. cos i really dont wanna care so much lerhs as it will only hurt me more. haish. take care peeps. shall update again..

-you left me for good, and its seriously hurting me too much.. i'll try my best tuhh forget you cos i wanna see you happy-

29March'09

Labels: i'll try my best tuhh forget you all becos i wanna see you happier...

SCREAMED at Sunday, March 29, 2009

Saturday, March 28, 2009

im afraid...

im here tuhh update again lerhs. hahas. so long ever since i last update my blog siahs. hahas. just now i went tuhh meet my "brother" derhs galfren, Berlinda. hahas. cos my cig was with her. hahas. then went tuhh take from her lerhs jiu go meet wenya and wenshan they all at near bedok inter there. hahas. met them for awhile lerhs jiu go back home lerhs. heh heh. well, this few days im like so broke lahs cans. my parents also dont wanna gimme money lahs. haish. shag mans. they kip say that i always go out. hahas. but also true lahs. hahas. every hl i also go out. stay at home can go crazy mans. so bored lahs cans. i just dont like th feeling of staying at home lahs. so sucks lahs cans. like a bird in a cage mans. haish. just now rachel called me up and told me that my biatch is looking for me. and i was shocked lahs cans. cos she told me that she not coming out for hl this week. den suddenly ask me tuhh call her. hahas. she coming down lerhs. happy lahs. she going tuh her old sch back. hahas. hee. i miss our memories mans. hahas. happy lahs cans. hahas. back tuhh th story. so i called her and she picked up. and actually on th phone we talked for quite long lahs. more than half an hour lahs. hahas. she sound like she is going tuhh give up on me and her love soon siahs. she say she noe alot of things. haish. well, i noe that cassandra and kuanqi like me but i just dont noe how tuhh reject th both of them lahs. haish. i mut admit that last time i used tuhh like cass also but thats like 10 months ago lahs cans. haish. and for that kuan qi, i also dont noe her well, and suddely she tell me that she like me. wth. i only saw her afew times on family day niahhs. thats all lahs. actually that time i just took a quick glance on her niahs and i also can feel that she was looking at me but i ignored cos i dont even noe her mahs. but th only ting i can rmb abt her is that she look like a bung. hahas.bad ahhs. hahas. and i dont wanna hurt anyone. haish. my love life now is just so complicated mans. haish. den some more she suddenly ask me abt a gal call patrina. i dont even noe who th hell is that lahs. i only got one EX fling call patricia niahs. wtf lahs. confirm is one of th admission gal go and say nonsense tuhh her derhs luhs. arghhs. i cant say anything also lahs. my biatch say that if i really still love her , i must try my best tuhh win her heart and trust back. but i dont even noe how lahs. haish. seriously i dont noe what tuh do now. im really afraid that she will leave me one fine day. haish. i ever say that she will be my LAST one lerhs. and i will hold on tuhh my words. haish. IF she ever leave , i dont tink i will fall in love again lerhs bahs. sort of PHOBIA lerhs. haish. really really hope that day will NEVER come lahs. haish. i reached home at around 8pm like that. sians. den went tuhh bath, after that i called her , jiu come online lerhs luhs. hahas. she told me that she theres a guy in msn like her. wtf!! how can?? argh. angry luhs. but i trust her that she wont go for that guy derhs. she read tuhh me her conversation with that guy just now. see, she so honest tuhh me. hahas. i like that. hahas. at least she bother tuhh prove tuhh me that she and that guy nothing. hahas. there must be trust in love derhs mahs. hahas. hope she will trust me also lahhs. noe what, im her FIRST bung lehs. and thats also th reason why im afraid that she might turn straight anytime. haish. im really afraid that i might lose her one day luhs. i really dont wan. haish. but if she can really find TRUE happiness with guys, i cant stop her too. haish. i must tink for her and her future mahs. haish. whatever it is, i will respect her decision derhs. haish. all i hope for is that i can have her , her love, for th rest of my life bahs. i NEVER wanna lose her anymore. i have already lost her on th 120908 lerhs and on th 091208 i found her back again. so i really hope that this time round me and her gonna last lerhs bahs. haish. may God bless th both of us bahs. Kaes lahs. i tink i shall end my piece here lerhs bahs. take care peeps. :))

-i just hope that you will NEVER stop loving and me and NEVER give up on our LOVE-

29th March'09

Labels: i'll only give up on you when you give up on me... please dont ever leave me my love...

SCREAMED at Saturday, March 28, 2009