Th Days of my LIFE...

2010-07-13T12:27:00.007+08:00

recent pics . hahaha . me and th "nabuey" ! hahahaha .

2010-07-11T18:03:00.003+08:00

I know you readers missed me right , cos i have not been updating my DEAD blog for like , so long ?! Hahaha . damn busy lahs nowadays . tsktsk .

Currently im at th lan shop using th comp while waiting for Jonas tuh get ready . meeting her at bedok inter later on ... gonna go down woodland tuh meet Christabel for a movie at Causeway Point . haha , memories . should be watching BloodPledge later with them bahs . LOL .

I'm so so so happy tuh say that i have totally given up on Cassandra lerhs :) hahaha . just that im still concerned abt her lahs . LOL . but , nevermind , friends' care and concern is very NORMAL ((: hahahaha . im so happpyyyyyyyy ~!

i have moved on with someone else . shan't say who that girl is right here and right now . becos , as you know , there are too many KPOs in univited guests busy-bodying abt my life . so understand argh ! friends who are close tuh me , i guess you guys know more than whats updated here bahs . so i no need say too much here also lahs . just a brief detail abt whats gg on in my life now will do . LOL . nowadays , not really active in honging and fooling around lerhs . becos sch work is drowning me like crazy . th timetable sucks now ! OMG ! cannot blame also lahs . Nlvl mahs . thats why my hw like FREE FLOW like that derhs . HAHAHA . so weekdays have been gg tuh sch and staying in th library for hours aft sch tuh complete my damned pile of HW . TORTURING mans ! arghs ! i tink this kinda sch life can really drive me crazy mans . HAHAH . im starting my nonsense again , see . all thanks tuh my that bloody timetable and HW , that drove me tuh become what i am now ; CRAZYYYYYY ~LOLOLOLOL ~ hmms , though nowadays derhs sch days are really damned mother fucking busy , but but but , i have been meeting CT aka MY MRS CHONG everyday this week . LOL ! oh gosh , im starting tuh speak nonsense again liaos . too high liaos , cannot blame lahs . HAHAHA . ytd tonned with Jonas and MY MRS CHONG at my house area . until today , pei my MRS CHONG tuh go for her hairwash at a salon . LOL . then pei her tuh a temple tuh settle her stuffs . then went back home tuh do some spring cleaning damned tired ! havent been slping for more than 24 hours lerhs lehs , all thanks tuh my HONEH and MRS CHONG ! LOL ! and tmr im schling , but im still gg for a movie later with my beloved MRS CHONG and of cos my sweetically dashing HONEH ~! hahahaha ! dont care me , i abit zao sua already . HAHAHAHA ! wait for this jonas till gg crazy lerhs lahs . hahaha . MY MRS CHONG's bday is coming and i got some sweet lil things for her . hope she will be happy (: actually my MRS CHONG has once disappointed me and we quarrelled on Thurs (8/7/10) when me , HONEH and MRS CHONG went for seesha session at bugis . but aft that we okays liaos and i decided tuh give her th LAST chance , hope she will not jeopardise it again ! (: i know i should put some faith in her . i will try tuh . dunno why , some times , i just cant feel that she loves me . and im not sure whether i love her or not , but i know even if i do , i was too ego tuh even whisper a "iloveyou" tuh her in her ears . yes , IM VERY EGO ):

MRS CHONG , i know that we both do not trust each other becos of one reason or th other . but i hope you know how hard im working on things betwn us , becos i want tuh be with you , i want tuh love you , no matter how others gonna look or say abt us . i just wanna be with you . but i know now it isnt th right time yet . becos neither you nor me is ready . just wanna tell you , every time i hug you in my arms , im always so unwilling tuh let go . i know i have never tell you how i feel towards you , becos you know , im too EGO and lacked th courage tuh do so , JUST LIKE YOU ! we are th SAME , HOT tempered and EGO ! hahaha . thats why i will start tuh believe you are th right one . hehehe . Dun you ever leave me ! if not i sell you tuh bangla and let them cook you in th curry . hahaha . I LOVE YOU lahs my ONE and ONLY MRS CHONG ( for now is one and only lahs , in th future is one in th MANY ! LOL ! PEACE ! )

shall end here lerhs . jonas is finally on th way tuh meet me lerhs . shall blog in another day yeahs ppl ? take care everyone ! smile !

2010-06-26T14:51:00.005+08:00

hahaha . thats my recent pic . LOL .

2010-06-26T14:25:00.003+08:00

today 260610 . SUPPOSINGLY its our 1yr liaos derhs . aiyahs also say its supposingly liaos . sighs , time really flies mans . LOL .

nowadays have just been busy working , went tuh Zirca last wed with Jonas , Syikin , Aqiem , and Keane , and saw quite some of my frens there too . LOL .had a great time there mans . :D currently im in love with Tecktonik dance . so cool mans . LOL . i want tuh learn lahs , but im still waiting for ppl tuh teach me . LOL . im finally moving on liaos . hehe . without that ass . im moving on with some other girls liaos . and im after malay girls now . tired of chinese girls liaos . Hahahaha . finally huh ?! cos , guess thats what i should do right now , if not i will never be able tuh walk out of her . thats me , thats my way of moving on and forgetting abt her . i dont care what others gonna tink of me , cos i dont need anyone's opinion of me , I NEED NO ONE NOW . get lost if you dislike me , or anything that im doing right now . im PERFECTLY FINE with it . :D hehehe . dont come and bother my life , becos you noe i wont give a hoot abt yours . TYVM . sch reopening soon ! and gonna chiong Nlvl liaos ! OMG . th hell's gate is opening soon liaos ! have tuh go back tuh my schooling life , which is :

wake up early in th morning at 6am , carry heavy bags tuh sch again , remain seated in th class and listening tuh those boring tchers speeches when you dont really understand a fuck sometimes . wahs , sians ! worst of all , NO NIGHT LIFE , NO CLUBBING ! shagggggzxzzxz !

BORING life , thats what i will describe my schooling life . NO LIFE . Arghs ! cant enjoy what have been enjoying for th past 3weeks . sians lahs ! looking forward tuh my NOV - DEC holidays , gonna enjoy till i drop ! whoohooo ! LOL ! shall end here lerhs bahs . sorry that i dont update often and even when i update , i dint update much too . hahah . have been busy working and seldom use comp . sorry readers ! :D catch me on fb instead , cos maybe i will be more alive there ?! cos i use iPhone more often than comp mahs . and iPhone cant update blog . so , hope you guys understand ! :D take care everyone ! wish me good luck for my Nlvl yeahs ? thanks !! ^^

2010-06-10T03:00:00.005+08:00

wahs , finally finished uploading . damned lazy tuh upload pic these days . LOL .

2010-06-10T01:49:00.002+08:00

hey here tuh update lerhs . everything is FUCKED up now . down with tons of probs . Friendship , Family , Money , RS , basically everything . holiday wan enjoy also cannot . so many shits happened . FUCKED UP . i dont wanna care anymore . jst fuckit with everything . i just wanna enjoy my holidays . sch reopen liaos jiu cant enjoy lerhs . Zzz . tell you guys a gd news , im finally over her ! happy rights ? cant say don love liaos , but just let go lerhs . TOTALLY ! heh heh . its like FINALLY can ! LOL . now just wanna focus on my work , and night life . today ladies night , yet didnt have tuh mood tuh club due tuh some shits happened just now . shan't post much here , if not sure will have kpo come and ask this and that . so irritating . aiming tuh go clubbing next wed nite . hehe . cant wait mans ! omg , these days , im so short tempered , and my vulgarities are like FREE FLOW . asshole . i dont like lor ! so sorry guys , whoever , if i have been impatient or harsh ! thanks tuh that bitch ! fucker . oooops , sorry ! searching for th old Emerson back again . Shags . wahs , that JERVINE SOTONG CHAN kip commenting on my photo album and photos . make me so busy go reply . asshole . STOP IT MANS BOWLFISH !!!!!!! on my nerves ! im so tired lerhs , entertaining those comments on my album and pic . told you lerhs , ppl nowadays are damned kpo . post pic at fb niahs then can comment till like fuck . Grrr . I MISS MY MITANG ! gonna meet her up soon :D take care . tired lerhs . update again soon . :DD

i cant deny , i still love you , after everything that i've gone through . and its still painful tuh know that you got yourself a new bf . however , th pains are still bearable . for this , im thankful .

This friendship , You , are such a letdown . and i wont let it bother me anymore .

2010-05-30T02:39:00.005+08:00

LADY GAGA!!! yeahs mans . she Rocks th World . :D Gorgeous ? Hot ? Speechless ? I'm just Hypnotized by Her . @.@

2010-05-30T02:07:00.003+08:00

Quite some since i last updated . im down with this pair of FLU and COUGH from last night till now . wth . so mother fucking irritating luhs !! straight come both at a time . full time partner huh ?! haiyo ! Irritate my life . cant even slp properly luhs . asshole . laughs . Well , I'm attached lerhs ppl :D laughs . but i feel so like Single . Hahahas . it doesnt really matter lahs . LOL . 2 more days , if i still hear nothing from her , I will be officially Single again :DDD LOL . i noe abit lame lahs , but you guys wont understand derhs lahs . LOL . Last night , Jonas came tuh T1 and wait for me tuh knock off at 10 . so touching rights my HONEYYYYY ??? LOL . then went tuh Jonas house and overnight . laughs . we online , tok craps , abit of heart tuh heart here and there , all th way till 5plusAM then slp . and woke up at abt 11plus coming tuh 12. laughs . then went down tuh have out late breakfast tgt . left at abt 4 in th noon after bathing at her house . cabbed home and went out tuh work again at 6 . busy hor ? laughs . and now just reached home and finished bathing . :D tired lerhs mans . lol . toked tuh a PENGUIN on th phone just now and so fast she wan hang lerhs . Zzz . asshole luhs . Grrr . Currently , im so so so so in love with LADY GAGA . OMG ! She is so H.O.T cans?!?!?!?! really admire her tuh th core . ^^ She ROCKS th shit out of me ! LOL ! if only can have a gf like her , wahs , i will be th most luckiest man on earth mans . LOL . sorry , its BUNG . arghs ! LADY GAGA !!!!!!!!! whoohoos ! my IDEAL GIRL ! LOL . shall end here with a sweetest smile tuh my Lady Gaga =D take care everyone . i wanna go and dream about my Lady Gaga lerhs . Ciaos ~

2010-05-24T19:42:00.005+08:00

wahs , im feeling so so so sick now . shit mans . having this mother fucking annoying headache . getting on my nerves mans ! eeeeeeee ! met up with Jonas , Zen and her future gf . laughs . so cute luhs them . laughs . tmr , going for counselling session at a family centre . ass . that SGH lahs , give me what attachment . lazy go siahs . but bobian , have tuh . Zzz . fucked , my hp kena confiscated by my tcher . asshole . cos i didnt finish selling th donation tickets . Grrr . so difficult tuh sell luhs . asshole . arghs ! i miss my phone lahs . my beloved phone . it has been with me for like abt a year lerhs lehs . have very deep feeling with that phone . laughs . OMG , im so tired lerhs . gtg . take care peeps .

You have been th cause tuh what i am now .
You have been th one who made me do so many crazy things .
You are th one who made me feel so disappointed .
You are th one who broke all your promises .
You are th one for all th denials .
When You needed me , you kip calling and expect me tuh tok tuh you , even when i told you im working . But when you know new frens , You can fucking just KICK ME ASIDE . Ignoring all my msgs , neglecting me , and even if you reply , your attitude that you gave me SUCK all th way tuh your ENORMOUS BREASTS ! Oh my , you made me feel that I've been stupidly used .
You can sound so shock when ppl ask you whether you are a lesbian .
You are th cause , th origin , for all th shits that happened these days .
Thank you , I must say , But i DONT NEED all these .
I wanna love you no more . Because everyone knows , you DONT worth my love .

2010-05-23T06:46:00.003+08:00

Since th day i lost you ,
I didnt know what else i could do
Beside waiting and dreaming that you will return .
Even after i clearly know that its pointless and that you will never return ,
I'm still so stubbornly waiting .
It wasnt your fault that im hurt now
I can blame no one .
This is th cruel fact .
I'm just lying tuh myself and refusing tuh accpt th Fact
that you will never be back .
Tuh see you happy ,
Thats my greatest wish .
I can ask for no more .
So now im letting go .
Watching you walk away with your new Straight life .
I wont come in your way ,
I wont breathe a word .
I'm just shutting my eyes and forcing myself tuh leave .
Keeping all th pains in my heart .
I will let go of my hand ,
I will stop holding onto you .
Maybe I will need time ,
Tuh let this Love erase .
I'm at lost .
Ppl say "If you love someone , set her free ."
But they never say what tuh do ,
When She doesnt come back .
You are th key tuh bring genuine laughters into my life now .
Teach me how tuh laugh from th bottom of my heart without you , Baby .

She told me today , that she wanna turn straight . I really wanted tuh ask her tuh stay , but i know clearly that she wont . I can feel it , its breaking . but its still alive , suffering those pains . Now , i'm just waiting for it tuh be gone . I dont know how long it will take , all i can do now is tuh wait . I wanna move on , i really do . becos i cant live this way . its killing me deep inside .

Went for Sher's chalet just now aft work , and im dead beat . Arghs ! Just got back home only . and im blogging in lerhs .th chalet was quite okays lahs . at least i know almost everyone there. more SGH girls . laughs . but i was so pathetic , squeezing with Jervine , Ahwyn and Monkey on th same bed . wahs . cant evern get tuh slp a wink . shagggggsssss . but jervine kena disturb by me and Monkey . Laughs . cos she slp beside me and Monkey . and she is th only girl . LAUGHS . *evil* Monkey unhooked her bra . laughs ! kelian derhs Jervine kena molested . hahahahas . but i innocent ahs , i dint even touch her luhs . LOL . i so decent , where will anyhow anyhow touch touch ppl derhs . =X yeahs , im good boy . laughs . ate alottttttt at th chalet . hotdogs lahs , corn lahs . omg , im gaining weight lerhs lahs !!!! no no no , no more eating for today liaos . im gg crazy , eat so much . now i wan go weigh myself i also scared siahs . Grrr . cfm gain weight derhs luhs . arghs ! im gg crazzzzzyyyyyyyyyyy ! shall end here lerhs . havent even bath yet . gonna go and have a good bath and then head tuh my lalaland lerhs . my bed is waiting for me lerhs . laughs . take care peepos . buhbye . :D

2010-05-22T02:14:00.004+08:00

Recent pics . LAUGHS . im crazzzyyyyy . I know that . LOL .

2010-05-22T01:42:00.003+08:00

finally MYE are over mans . phew , and coming up are th holidays !!!! whoohoo ! clubbing time ! laughs . well , my results kinda suck . LOL . exams period , was down with quite a number of blows and problems . i noe its stupid , peepos , dont scold me please :D PEACE .

Eng P2 - 52/80
Poa - 84.5/100
Combined science - 75/100
Combined Humans - Failed
Maths P1 - 32/80
Maths P2 - 45/60
Mother Tongue P1 - 38/70
Mother Tongue P2 - 32/60

S loves T so much . much more than how S used tuh love me . yeahs , cool huh ? sighs . many things happened , and ended up me and T had a lil quarrel that day at Katong Shopping Centre . T is my good brother , and we actually quarrelled becus of shits that arise from S . stupid ahs . was quite angry with T becus she lied tuh me and did smth that she shouldnt even do at all .

S is so crazyyyy over T .
S loves T so fucking damned much but T dont really love her .
S becus of T can do alot alot of thing .
S made use of me tuh get tuh noe more abt T , tuh hear T's voice , tuh get near T .
S is always thinking abt T .
S gave T her heart .
S is trying so hard tuh win T's trust and ended up hurting other pathetic and innocent souls unknowingly .
S cannot forget T .

I'm so crazyyyy over S .
I love S so fucking damned much but S dont even love me , or rather , has NEVER love me .
I did alot of things for S .
I'm always thinking of S , finding excuses tuh msg her , becos as long as i get tuh chat with S , im happy enuf .
I gave S my heart .
I cannot forget S .

Everything is opposite . Yeahs , and at th very end of th day , I'm still th Pathetic Victim . Thanks . S has left a scar in my heart . I dont wanna see S like this . She's in pain , and so am I . I hate this . I wanna stop loving her . STOPPPPP !!! ohs , im just day dreaming . laughs . perhaps , im letting go slowly now . but one cruel fact is that , im still living in th old memories of us . how silly of me . I know .

2010-05-15T02:08:00.002+08:00

Me and Jonas . LOL .

2010-05-15T01:04:00.003+08:00

things happened ytd . and im just so speechless . got myself injured , both physically and emotionally . yahs , i noe im weak . dont judge me , this is my life , let me live it th way i want it tuh be . advices are welcome , but not judgement pls . i had enuf . went tuh sing K with them ytd , and some shits just happened aft that . shall not elaborate . im just so tired . and frustrated with everything .

Today ,

th conjecture that i have been having was proven right . finally . S fell for T . amazing huh ? LAUGHS . i was totally lost , and didnt noe what tuh do when i noe that . im speechless , directionless , blank , devastated , hopeless , idk what else i felt . as if i lost everything , including myself . i dont noe who am i , why im here in th world . why im doing all these , aft all that which happened . i noe im dumb , im stupid , everything started with me . i just feel like escaping . from everything in th world , including myself . i did nonsense . things that i dont usually do anymore . i dont noe why i did that , as i said , i lost myself . thanks tuh S . im sorry , i really dont noe what else i can do tuh make all those feelings stop . i may be foolish . i dont wish tuh tink , but i cant help it . i really cant . tear is already a regular customer tuh my face , and blood is also regular customer tuh my skin . im NUMB . by everything that hit me . i can no longer learn how tuh love . not at th moment . its enuf . i had enuf . i dont wish tuh be th reason tuh separate them . im fine , i noe they like each other , just go ahead . i dont mind . if my love for S is stopping S from being with th one she love , then just treat it as i dont love S anymore . it doesnt really matter anw . it makes no diff . becos i finally realise , that everything is over . one is my gd bro , th other one is th one I'm so crazily in love with . i would rather sacrify myself then . for you , i can do anything , but not stop th love , and erase th memories of my mind . take care my love . i dont wish tuh see you suffering in a one sided situation with T , like what im gg through now with you . i dont want tuh see you being hurt . hope my ego will be of help in this situation now . i just dont wish tuh show .

For S :

Ting dao wo de dian hua　

Xiang le yi sheng jiu zan ting　

Hui bu hui shi ni

Wo zong huai yi　

Yin wei zhe yuan yin　

Xin qing bu wen ding

Wo men zhi jian de wen ti　

Shi wo bu xiang xin ni　

Min gan you duo xin

Pa ni bian le xin　

Yin wei ai ni　

Hai pa shi qu ni

Ai de tian qi zong shi yin qing bu ding　

Ai de qing xu ye zai huan xiao zhong ku qi

Baby）xiang dui ni shuo sheng dui bu qi　

Yong cuo le fang shi qu ai ni

Yin wei wo tai zai yi

（ru guo mei you ni）

wo de shi jie zhi sheng hui yi

Mei tian zhi mian dui gu ji　

Yi lai bu ji　

Zai shuo wo ai ni

Zi cong na tian fen shou hou　

Ting bu zhu lei di　

Xiang nian yi ge ren

Neng wang ji zi ji　

Rang wo ai ni　

Shen me dou yuan yi

Ru guo neng zai yu jian ni　

Ba ni bao jin　

Cong ci bu fen li

Jue bu fang qi　

Wo yao gao su ni　

OS:Baby I'm sorry

Well I wonder could it be
When I was dreaming 'bout you baby
You were dreaming of me
Call me crazy, call me blind
To still be suffering is stupid after all of this time

Did I lose my love to someone better
And does she love you like I do
I do, you know I really really do

Well hey
So much I need to say
Been lonely since the day
The day you went away
So sad but true
For me there's only you
Been crying since the day
The day you went away

I remember date and time
September twenty second
Sunday twenty five after nine
In the doorway with your case
No longer shouting at each other
There were tears on our faces

And we were letting go of something special
Something we'll never have again
I know, I guess I really really know

zhi sheng xia gang qin pei wo tan le yi tian
shui zhao de da ti qin
an jing de jiu jiu de
wo xiang ni yi biao xian de fei chang ming bai
wo dong wo ye zhi dao
ni mei you she bu de Oh~~

ni shuo ni ye hui nan guo wo bu xiang xin
qian zhe ni pei zhe wo ye zhi shi ceng jin
xi wang ta shi zhen de bi wo hai yao ai ni
wo cai hui bi zi ji li kai
ni yao wo shuo duo nan kan
wo gen ben bu xiang fen kai
wei shen me hai yao wo yong wei xiao lai dai guo ?
wo mei you zhe zhong tian fen
bao rong ni ye jie shou ta
bu yong dan xin de tai duo
wo hui yi zhi hao hao guo

ni yi jing yuan yuan li kai
wo ye hui man man zou kai
wei shen me wo lian fen kai dou qian jiu zhe ni ?
wo zhen de mei you tian fen
an jing de mei zhe me kuai
wo hui xue zhe fang qi ni
shi yin wei wo tai ai ni ..

nà yī shàn chē mén
guān chū wŏ men de liè hén
yī shēng jiù zhèn duàn le huí tóu de lù chéng

ài wú fă jūn fēn
yĭ hòu jiù liú gĕi nĭ men
yĕ xŭ yòng shāng hài jié shù ài cái gèng dòng rén

* róng rĕn de rén qí shí bìng bù bèn
zhī shì zhù kĕ duì zì jĭ cán rĕn
jì rán ài bù néng héng wēn
zhù fú jiù gĕi nĭ xià yī gè rén

** nĭ shì hăo rén yĕ shì gè huài rén
duì wŏ tăn chéng zhī wéi le cháo tā kuáng bēn
bù néng fàng rèn suŏ yĭ fàng le
zhè diăn tòng wŏ huán néng rĕn
wŏ shì hăo rén yĕ shì gè huài rén
fēn de gòu hĕn nĭ cái yŏu jiè kŏu zhuăn shēn
zhù yuàn ài yī diăn bù shèng
yĕ bù rĕn kàn liàn rén ài chéng lù rén

I'm tired , i guess i need a break . I miss you .

2010-05-13T11:09:00.002+08:00

these few days have been gg out with Jonas and Her . well , realised smth that hit me real hard . im so BLINDED , that i couldnt even see that everything is OVER . yeahs , EVERYTHING IS MY FAULT , im DUMB , im STUPID , im SELFISH , and EVERYTHING you can tink of me alrights ?! you did nothing wrong , I DESERVED tuh be hurt , i deserve everything that i get now . thanks . i noe that . you wished i dint exist at all . i shall not exist in your life anymore then . why th fuck all these are happening tuh me . false hope , hot and cold , honging , and all those shits . ppl are asking me tuh give up already , even those that have been encouraging me tuh pursue is asking me tuh give up also . maybe i need time , tuh get all this over . tuh start a new life on my own again , get fucking get you out of my heart . GIVE IT A TRY ?! you dare tuh say that ?!! i think might as well GIVE IT A FUCK instead ! fuck everything alrights ?! you did nothing that you said you will and promised me tuh . all your words in your letter are just STMF alrights ?! yes , i noe that i may have done you wrong IN TH VERY VERY FIRST PLACE . but i have been trying very hard tuh mend it all back since we got back tgt again . everything was gg on well from 250110 onwards till 190210 when you shouted STOP tuh everything . nevertheless i still carried on , trying my fucking best tuh fucking win your love over . all my hard work , all my effort , everything that i did for you , got me nowhere but into th deep deep HELL . how can you be so cruel tuh someone who love you so much , someone who has given so much tuh you , someone who has changed so much for you ? is your heart made of metal ? that nothing i did has touched it ? have you forgotten th way we loved each other , th way we touched , th way we kissed , th way we are in th past . is it so easy for you tuh forget ? why just when i really want tuh be serious and settle down with you , you would change and become someone i didnt noe when we were in SGH . why is your change so drastic ? you have become someone who i dont noe , not th DAR you were in th past . my LOVE has got nowhere , and so has myself .

We were both young when i first saw you
I close my eyes and th flashbacks starts i'm standing there
On a balcony in summer air
See th lights see th party th ball gown
See you make your way through th crowd
And say Hello little did i know
that you were Romeo you were throwing pebbles
And my Daddy said stay away from Juliet
I was crying on th staircase begging you please dont go
and i said 'Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be wating all there's left tuh do is run
You'll be th prince and i'll be th princess
It's a love story baby , just say Yes ..

"Halos. replying your letter... 27Jan10.. i never go sch .. so sians. th first thing i do when i wake up was tuh go around telling my dormates that i want tuh go sch .. than i cry otw tuh slp . i dont know why as each day passed be my feelings become stronger and stronger.. its damn hard for me tuh let you go noe .. i dont know why ! im alwys thinking what you are doing outside . i really cant bear tuh leave you at this moment.. i miss you so damn much. do you know how important you are in my heart ? do you know where you stand in my heart? sorry if i didnt turn up for your burfday. im on MC. that stupid doctor larh.. dont let me go school.. i cry like as if my beloved ones die like that Lorhs.. i dont wish history tuh repeat itself.cause it will lead me tuh depression.. every single day im looking forward tuh meet you tau ! finally we are back tgt again and i love that feeling of you holding me in your fat arms *laughs* i hope tuh last till i discharged.hope you fulfill this wish of mine.. :)are you willing tuh go through with me anot ? wo hen xiang ni.. do you ? will you always be th boyy that i love and sayang for ? can you see that my lkove for you is strong and deep ? i promise you if my feeling for you isnt strong anymore i will let you know.. but i guess that will be a million months /days / years later. if you dont believe you should ask Valerina how much i love and care for you.. how deeply im in love with you.. m,aybe you would be my last girlfriend.. Oops its boyfriend..losing you is a nightmare and i cant bear tuh dream of it.. *crying out loud* one day dint see you like hundred years never see you.. i love you more than you do.. if we can last till Valentine i will give you th book i do for you i promise. i want you forever by my side. never tuh leave me neglected okays. =D i wont de. im very scared tuh lose you.. can you promise me that even if we break liaos we sill can be friends and that you will still be there tuh celebrate my burfday ? will place your photo in th diary of mine and kip it safe and sound be my side. having you around make me feel so secure and sound.."

tuh be continued... running out of time now so gotta PAUSE here first..

*** have you really forgotten what you have told me and your promises in your letters ???

2010-05-09T14:13:00.003+08:00

2010-05-05T13:50:00.006+08:00

Last Tues , She said ,
"as i've said PAST IS PAST THERES NO WAY U CAN TURN BACK THE TIME LERHSS.."

perhaps there is really no more chance tuh go back tuh how we were used tuh be . but pls dont say thigns tuh hurt my heart anymore Dar . I cant take it . becos you meant too much tuh me lerhs . every single minute , i've been waiting anbd yearning for your msgs . even a "eat lerhs mahs ? " derhs msg you sent me that day also can make me FLY . becos even a simple msg can show that she still got think of me . :D :D :D HAPPY ^^ its not pig can fly , its pig's heart always die . As I've said , you can do whatever you want , as long as you dont hurt yourself . i wont stand in your way . i'd just follow you whever you go , stand in one corner and watch you closely , just tuh ensure that you are safe and happy . although its torturing me tuh noe that you're gg on with this guy that bung , i cant deny that it hurts , but i dont mind being hurt just becos i love you . and i cant forget . so its okays with me if you wanna find someone new , flirt with anyone , whatever u want . i wont breathe a word . i'd watch you silently , kiping all those hurts in my heart tuh myself , be there tuh catch u wheneve you fall , be there tuh wipe away your tears on your face when you cry , give you my shoulder tuh lie on when you are feeling weak , and offer you any help i can give . i just wanna walk with you for th rest of my life Girl . i will never leave , i promise you Girl , I'll always stay by you . and i will be waiting for you tuh be back and continue Our Love Story .

* th process of loving you is like a path that has no turning backs once i have started walking on it .

2010-05-04T13:49:00.002+08:00

it has been so long that i updated my pathetic bloggy . SORRY ~ sighs . many things happened . i guess i shall post abt th NON-SAD things first bahs . okays , hmms , have been gg tuh gym and there is one particular time when i went tuh gym and i saw this average looking malay girl , whose muscles are like so huge can ! wahs , i see her so muscular i zi bei siahs . her muscles are actually bigger than mine i guess ! OMFG . damned zi bei mans . Grrr . nvm , i will train harder derhs . humph . today was my FIRST PAPER . ENGLISH PAPER . hmms , was damned nervous that i got messed up with all th foolscap papers and stuffs on my bloody table . Zzz . too nervous lerhs , cos i didnt really revise much . and i cant deny that im more or less distracted by some prob of mine . which happened just ytd . sighs . hmms , but thank goodness , i managed tuh complete my paper smoothly :D hope will have gd grades . ^^ hmms , currently im down with one lunatic diet plan . which is anti food ! LOL . hmms , since th day i met up with HER at Jurong Point , which on Sunday , i had nasi lemak for my breakfast , and thats all for that day . then Monday i had 2 half-boiled eggs for breakfast , thats all for that day . Today slightly better , i ate some vege and boiled chicken during my recess and thats it . :D kinda break my own record lerhs siahs . idk why i would come up with this also . LOL . hmms .

that day met up with HER , Joii , with Jonas at Jp . and they met us for awhile only then went off lerhs . we came all th way tuh Jp tuh meet them and they so fast jiu go lerhs . cant deny , was kinda disappointed . sighs . so aft that me and Jonas went tuh meet Zen , then tgt went tuh meet Aubrey and her gf . waited for them for damned long cans ! Zzz -.- i gave HER a test , with th help of Jonas . sadly tuh say , she failed my test . shall not elaborate much on th test . sighs . and th test went on till ytd , i called Her up and exposed everyting . then She msg me and asked me tuh forget abt Her and Our memories . and She asked me & Jonas tuh stop contacting her . She was very upset that i dint trust her that i have tuh test her . she said we were through . noe how hurting those words are ?! what made me puzzled was why She told Jonas that she dont love me anymore but later when i asked her if she still love me , she said Yes . sighs . forget it , its over . i noe i cant forget Her just like that becos i Love Her . but idk whether does she still feel th same , although from certain incidents i can feel it , neverthless , i dont wan tuh be overconfident . i would rather she tell me TRUTHFULLY at my face . i had my reasons for doing that . although its still not right tuh do that . perhaps as what ppl have said , i let th phobia and distrust i have towards rs from th past experiences affect th present one i had . yeahs , i noe i also got wrong . sighs . perhaps im really too sensitve lerhs bahs . and too zai hu her lerhs . but i really dint have th intentions tuh hurt her in any ways . i swear ! i was badly hurt too ! *cries* i really dont wish tuh let go . cos i noe i cant . and i love Her . i cant deny this .

"Dar , i noe you slp already . i just finished bathing . and gg tuh zz soon . i just wanna tell you that out of a sudden , i miss you . miss th way you loved me , th times we've shared , th way you laughed , th way we hugged and kissed , th way you called me Dar , th way i fetch you back and fro sgh , th way you held my hands and walk tuh your sch from commonwealth mrt , th silly you when you pg , basically your everything . just you , yes i want you . your love , th love we used tuh share . i want it all back . even though i may sound greedy , but its th fact . becos of you , i've learnt , learnt tuh be appreciative of those time we had . be is sad or happy times . i wont let go of you so easily anymore .comes whatever , rmb , im still here for you tuh rant your anger , tuh wipe away your tears when you are down , tuh laugh with you when you are over th moon . Even if th whole world turn their backs against you , you noe you still have me by your side . i cant give up just like that , and i wont too . at first i must say , i didnt noe that i love you that deep , i tot it was just a love that i could easily forget . but only when i felt th hurt ytd , and genuinely feel how bad i was hurt , then i began tuh , how much i actually love you . i may not be good at showing you my love , or at giving you th assurance that i wont hurt you , but from now onwards , im gg tuh try my very best tuh give you my best , tuh make you happy .tuh be more understanding . i noe you need some time tuh cool down . i will give you time . i'll give you all th freedom tuh do anything you want , as long as you dont hurt yourself . i hope that you'd make me be th one tuh let you confide your xin shi in . i wanna be th one tuh go through all th thicks and thins in th future in th future tuh come . i wanna be th one . not anyone else . whatever i do , is all becos of one simple reason , which is I LOVE YOU . i swear its true . if my love for you aint true , i lose my parents okays . from today onwards , you'll be my only one . i need you my girl . and i love you more . more than you noe . slp tight alright .i gg slp also . gd night . tmr morning then msg you k ? kisses , from th bottom of my heart !

from all my heart ,
your dar EmersonChong"

last night's msg tuh Her . how i wish we will be like how we used tuh be . so loving and sweet . why is it that aft you discharge , then you become another DAR who i dont noe? yes , i will accpt NOW derhs you , if i really love you , but i need time and chance tuh understand NOW derhs you also rights ? I hope that we could return back tuh those times when i send you back tuh SGH , when we smoke at staircase tgt , when i fetch you tuh and fro SGH , when i sent you tuh sch , when we kissed and hugged ( th feeling was so right and strong ) , th way you touch . i miss all those times , th love we used tuh share . but all that have been replaced with th cold and cruel you . i dont mind now , even if we can return tuh th times when i waited outside SGH for you like a fool when ended up you wasnt even out , i dont mind how sot i was . i just wan th past that belong tuh us back . DAR , pls dont do this tuh me . its hurting . and th only way tuh stop th hurts is tuh return back tuh how we used tuh be . PLEASE . it wasnt until i felt how tremendously my heart broke , that i realise how much i actually love you . DAR , im sorry , i noe i may have hurt you in some ways at times , but i've never realise . im sorry for being so ignorant of my own actions and yet so sensitive of every of your actions . but please rmb , I LOVE YOU , i really do . T.T

2010-04-24T21:31:00.003+08:00

MOST RECENT PICS . :D

2010-04-24T20:55:00.002+08:00

it has been so long ever since i updated this pathetic blog . so many things happened and i just hate whatever that has been happening .
Anna is no longer in my life . and im getting on without her , and fortunately , i been able tuh move on . although at times i still think of her . happy rights ? HAHA . Cassandra contacted me back again . and everytime i mit her , she is always sehseh derhs . have been sending her back tuh SGH these days . i just cant trust her anymore . she is just too flirt . asking around for intro of some fucking asses in fs . out of all th asses , she asked someone who i not gum with for intro . wahs , on my nerves mans . NO TRUST , and THATS IT ! flirt all she wan , im not gonna give a fuck anymore . damned sot with her .
my results is improving negatively . failed my Eng comprehension test . can you imagine ?! Eng you noe ! wth . damn disappointed . Poa also deproved . T.T gonna catch up lerhs . cant afford tuh wait any longer . sighs . i just hate everything now . COCK UP . shall end here lerhs . didnt post much cos i dont wan ppl tuh noe too much of my life . and i just not in th mood tuh post much now . take care peeps . BYES .

- NO GIRLS WORTH MY TRUST NOW ,
- NO TRUST , and THATS IT ! -

*Dar , Why when i started trying tuh gain back my TRUST for you , you must do all these shits tuh break everything up ?! if thats what you wanted , GO AHEAD . *

2010-03-28T19:42:00.002+08:00

Th $1.20 joke. hahahas ! AH Clare i got you on th camera! hahahas PEACE !

2010-03-28T19:13:00.002+08:00

dont noe what tuh say lerhs. i have been single for 1 month plus lerhs. long hor. LOL. life is getting more and more boring. and im getting more and more low profile. dont wan readers tuh noe too much abt my life nowadays. LOL. LOVE is equals tuh HURTS for me now. and i just dont wanna force myself tuh forget abt my love for her. im tired of trying and trying. it hurts more when i have kept trying so hard tuh let go and forget and in th end i noe i cant. i just cant and i wanna stop trying lerhs. if i love her , so what? i will just let it be. and i will just do whatever that i feel like it. i want tuh love her , then i love her luhs. no point stopping myself from loving her , forcing and trying th shit out of me not tuh love her. cos it wont work , instead i will be more xin ku that way. so , NOW , i will just let my heart be and follow my heart. :D

basically , studies is my weekdays' routine. recently im down with horrible flu and its mother fucking irritating ! tired of it mans. i just cant wait for holidays tuh come , cos i wanna go CLUBBING !!! that day went tuh REBEL lerhs , and quite an enjoying experience lahs. except for th fact that YAN and ANNA was there too. but i just tried tuh avoid seeing them. LOL. just stick tuh one of my butch fren luhs. hahahas. but okays lahs , still get tuh enjoy here and there , watching those girls grind , but i dint dance. cos i DONT DANCE ! hahahas. then my frens all kip ask me dance. they tried tuh grind me and get me dancing but FAILED ! :D hahahas ! but fuck shit embarassing derhs thing was i get free entrance and free drinks that night cos it was ladies' night. so that means im considered as lady lahs ???!!! OMFG :X then line up at th ladies' drink redemption counter and i was th only bung there. OMG , damn mother fucking paiseh lahs cans ! hahas. i wanna go again lahs !!!!!!!!! fun :D :D :D ENJOYING MANSSS. heheh. cant wait for holidays luhs !!!!! 2 more months ! ^^ shall blog off now lerhs bahs. tmr schling. and miting yan also. Zzz. take care peeps.

**June holidays anyone want tuh go clubbing can jio me go also :D but th preferred club are : REBEL , POWERHOUSE , PLAY. just beep me up ! :D

2010-03-15T12:19:00.003+08:00

so longgggg since i last updated. LOL. Anna and Yan patched lerhs. well , what can i do beside giving them my blessing? as long as Anna's happy. so that Yan better not hurt Anna hor. :D that day , went out with Anna and Serina , we went for a movie. :D watched th "Kidnapper". okays lahs , quite a nice movie. Serina treat me with Potato chips. LOL. and i finish th whole packet alone siahs ! WTH ! -.- then we went tuh shop ard TM and CS luhs. after that we went tuh airport tuh pei Serina tuh eat at coffee bean. then slack and walk ard T3 luhs. Anna kip pushing me tuh Serina as she notice that Serina is jealous when im more close tuh Anna. WTH ! LOL. hmms , wondering whether i should go back tuh Secret Recipe tuh work for this week derhs sch holidays not. i want moneyyyy lahs. daily allowance only 10 bucks , and its really not enough for me mans ! i need tuh buy alot of things. :X sianssss , dont noe what tuh do. my manager still havent call me yet. Zzz. maybe gg tuh Tamp later. sians. blog off here lerhs. alot of things not mentioned here , as nowadays im so lazy tuh blog. and i dont wanna let everyone online noe too much abt my life. take care peeps ! bYe:D

2010-03-02T22:23:00.003+08:00

commontests are over! Phew! Finally sia. Hahaha. And here are my results.

Eng - 23/35
Poa - 41/50
Mother tongue - failed
Science - 62/100
Combined humanities - 41/60
Maths - 47/50

Hahaha. Holidays coming! And i cant wait man! So damned exhausted from studies! Need a break and enjoy myself. Lol. Abt love, next post den talk abt it ba. Busy now so a short post will do. Take care ppl! Bye :)

2010-02-25T20:51:00.002+08:00

so long since i last updated. hahahas. just gotta noe that Cass has gotten herself another bf name Johnathan on that day when she broke up with me and i was damned DISAPPOINTED. all th excuses that she has given me , " she is not ready tuh accept everything so fast " , " she answered me too fast lerhs " , " she cant say that she totally dont love me anymore " , etc. FUCK IT okays ! ALL EXCUSES. she want tuh leave me for Johnathan then just say only. dont need tuh give me all those Bloody excuses. i dont need it seriously. fancy her saying till like she is so damned innocent when her intention was tuh be with Johnathan thats why she wanna break up. my antenna is long and i noe whats happening all these days okays. save it , dont have tuh fool me anymore cos it wont work bitch. she broke all her promises one after one.

First , she say she wont like guys , even is she will , she will tell me , beforehand.
Yet , she like Johnathan , isnt Johnathan a guy too? fuck all she said alrights?!

Second , she say she wont be the one tuh say break or do shit tuh me.
And again , she DID !

Third , she say she will be faithful tuh me.
BUT SHE DID NOT !

she say she wont lie tuh me , but she DID. so wtf now. that day she told me that she gg tuh meet a friend at eunos and she said it was a gal , but i get tuh noe that she intended tuh meet JOHNATHAN okays. So now i noe , JOHNATHAN is a GIRL ! LMAO ! CRAPS ! she say she has NO ONE ELSE , then WHO IS JOHNATHAN ?! NO ONE as well??? really must thank her for all those shits and lies. fuck her until she die mans ! wahs , was damned mad at her mans. wan tuh go just say lahs , why must give me all those fucking excuses tuh cover up for herself siahs ! WO BU CHI ZHE YI TAO okays. OMG. I dint do anything siahs. nb. forget it bahs. i wont let myself turn back anymore. I WILL MOVE ON WITHOUT CASSANDRA TAN WAN CHENG ! of cos , i cant deny that it hurts , and till now it still does. but for what i noe , im gonna be strong ! and i will move on ! so aft i return her fucking jacket that is with me now , we are quits and im not gonna contact her lerhs. thats it. SHUANG KUAI yi dian. :D HAHAHAS ! okays lahs , dont tok abt her already. OMG , im so disappointed in myself. i didnt do well for my POA COMMON TEST ! D: 41/50 ! wth ! first time get this kinda fucked result luhs. and ENG , 23/35 , wth ! arghs ! im going crazy lerhs. how can i score this kinda marks ! haiyo. hope tuh do better next time ! yeahs gonna focus more lerhs , no more fooling lerhs ! for now , single lerhs , just gonna do whatever i like till i found someone who i can love again. yups , thats all. anw , gonna end my post here lerhs. take care everyone. tmr and Sat gotta work lehs , OMG. gotta run ! BYES :DDD

2010-02-21T01:24:00.001+08:00

Fountain of Wealth. Hehehe. nice rights? i noe.

2010-02-21T00:15:00.002+08:00

ytd was jonas' bday and we went tuh drink at Thai Disco. went finding for pub that is not that strict find until very hard luhs. cos on that day 2 of us underaged. LOL. th girls there are so HOTTT ! WHOOOO ~ i love it. single lerhs mahs. LOL. drank Martel and were quite mabok. LOL. but Sher and Jonas were th worst ! hahahahas ! i still okay lahs , still can control myself. but one damn thing for sure is that , i was damned seh , however i still managed tuh control myself and take cab home myself alone. i walked also cannot balance lerhs , but i noe what is happening and what im doing. LOL. reached home at abt 2plus in th morning. then went tuh bath and K.O. my head and th whole body too heavy lerhs.

Today woke up at 1plus in th noon. and fucked ! th thing that i dread th most aft drinking ,, HANGOVER ! headache and whole body weak. NB ! so stayed at home th whole day. hehehes. gd boy right? LOL. of cos im good always. LOL.

19.02.10
thats when we fall apart and you let go. i tot you could be th one , but you just proved me wrong. i noe you dont feel secured with me , but i did everything that i can tuh show you that i really love you , all my efforts and everything i put in for you still not enough tuh show you that i really love you? for you , i dint do anything unfaithful behind your back , i dint hong , i just dint do anything wrong. so why must you let go? i noe we have been quarrelling these days , but i tot quarrels make a rs stronger? i held on tuh our rs no matter what happen so why cant you do th same. sighs. forget it. its over lerhs. i shall let it pass then. i wont hold you back. i wont breathe a word. as sad as i can be , as painful as i can feel , i shall move on. but i wanted you tuh noe that i have enjoyed th times i spent with you all these days. and as stubborn as you can be , as childish as you can be , as irritatin as you can be at times, as naughty as you can be , i still loved you. for you are someone who is of my type ; cute , English speaking , girls sch , your slang when you speak , its unique. you're simply th type for me. but just too bad , you came into my life late and you left too early. cos im not done with loving you yet.

2010-02-15T13:11:00.003+08:00

GONG XI FA CAI!

hehehes. ytd 1st day of CNY , went tuh visit my grandmom and relatives. then went tuh Kbox with Sher , Maine , Aubrey , Cindy Soh , Jonas and my brothers. fucked up , thats all i can say. after that me and my brothers went home first. BORING ~ night time , went tuh find Anna at her house. then we watched horror movie. LOL. Indonesia derhs ghost movie. okays lahs , quite scary lahs. after that watch cartoon for awhile then we went tuh slp lerhs. slept at abt 2AM. whoos ~ tired mans. then this morning wake up at 9AM. Anna cook for maggie for me tuh eat lerhs then i wait for her tuh bath and prepare tuh work. she working at 12 mahs. then after that she go work and i home sweet home. LOL. so here i am , just finish bathing. LOL. later im going tuh my relative house tuh painian again ! :D hope tuh receive manymany hong bao ! :DDD take care everyone , and HAPPY CNY ! stay happy always !

2010-02-12T14:18:00.005+08:00

most recent pics. with my Romance and Dar ( Cassandra )

2010-02-12T14:09:00.002+08:00

wahs , SIANS ! valentines day is coming lerhs. tsktsk. but Cassandra wont be out. but there is FZ gathering. dont noe whether i can make it nots. cos have tuh go pai nian mahs. CNY 1st day lehs. sighs. Romance today msg me and ask me tuh go for th gathering. LOL. then in th end i quarrelled with her becos of her bloody fren ! irritating underage sucker. really pissed me off mans. no manners. mom never teach ! yucks. arghs i cant be bothered lahs. fuck shit. like it or not , i will still scold her that fren derhs. cos i have my own reasons and stand tuh do that. fuck lahs , she is just a pathetic 15 yrs old freak trying tuh climb over my head?! dream on! slap her face ahs , nb! ytd anna and yan break lerhs. and anna was very sad. although she act as if she is fine , i noe that shes not. T.T sighs. what can i say though. tmr Cassandra coming out lerhs. cant wait mans. missed her sooooo much. i just end sch not long. later gg tuh town watch movie with frens. hehehe. gotta run and prepare lerhs. take care everyone ! HAPPY CNY !

2010-02-05T13:40:00.004+08:00

BORED BORED BORED !

my birthday sucks alrights , just a family dinner and Clara my gan mei went tuh th dinner with me too:D hahaas. hope that she had her fill. then night , is my drinking time ! reached home at abt 4am. th next day , MC . LOL. as usual. LOL. received present from my teachers and classmates. most of th presents are just CHOCOLATES. hahas. but i appreciate them anw. thanks guys , for rmbring my bday. LOL. Anna gave me a T-shirt as my bday present. while Clara gave me a slice of Cocoa Mocha cake. thanks guys , really appreciate your effort. :D Bday , heng never kena sabo , cos i clever , never go down SR. if not , im DEAD for sure. LOL. th day before my bday kena a lil bit of sabo by Nikie. FUCKER. then i chase after her all th way till MRT stn. LOL. like kids right we all? LOL. well , my bday this year just sucks. all th way. th worst bday i ever have all my 18 yrs. FUCKED !

well , have been schling and doing hw after sch nowadays. of cos not forgetting tuh send Cassandra back tuh SGH too. wed , thurs and fri , i woke up early in th morning at 4am and went tuh SGH outside there meet Cassandra then send her tuh sch. LOL. ppl may say that im TOUCHING. HAHAS. BHB , i noe. LOL. but its true also ok. i still prepare breakfast for her somemore arghs. so sweet of me rights? actually i prepare breakfast for KQ also derhs on that day, but , she went off early that day so dint have th chance tuh give it tuh her. sighs. nvm bahs. now , i just ended sch , waiting for Cassandra at Eunos mrt derhs nearby derhs lanshop. i guess she will end sch soon. Sian , this morning again i went tuh meet her at outside SGH but when i reach , she left lerhs. but i saw ahJoi so fagged with her awhile luhs. then went tuh sch lerhs luhs. wahs , this Cassandra is so long mans. gtg. take care everybody! HAPPY CNY IN ADVANCE ! :D

2010-01-30T23:28:00.002+08:00

i noe im kinda zilian , th rest of th photo i put in my fs. PEACE :D

2010-01-26T18:34:00.002+08:00

MY BIRTHDAY is JUST 2 more days away! hahahas.

2 more days and i'll be 18 lerhs. hehehe. fast hor? LOL. well , very long never update lerhs. hmmhmms. things happened btwn me and my ROmance , Sher and her Yang. Love r/s sucks for me and Sher AT FIRST. but now Sher and her Yang okays lerhs. so glad for her lahs. last weekends were at Bugis. BORING ! met Sher , Jonas and Deping last sat for movie at Bugis , then Sunday , met Sher , Kelle , and my Romance at Bugis , AGAIN! OMG. -.- well.things btwn me and her okay lerhs lahs. dint really tok things out. but , hmms , idk how tuh say lehs. Cass told me that Kq has a bf , but Kq explained everything tuh me lerhs. finally , me and her okay lerhs and im so HAPPY :D so i sent Kq home and tuh my surprise , her parents let me in her house and sitsit. then i just sit at th living room and play with th baby luhs. LOL. so cute lahs ! omg. then wait for Kq tuh prepare tuh go back tuh SGH , and then i went back tuh bedok lerhs luhs. LOL. gonna wait for Kq tuh come out for her outing again.

life is so boring for me now. everyday go sch , aft sch go Eunos tuh meet Cass and fetch her go back SGH. then after that head back tuh Tamp library tuh do my hw , after that go and fetch Anna aft work and go home tgt with her. thats all i do during th weekdays. LOL. BORING rights? =/ you noe what , i finally passed my Maths class test. 13/18 :D although not very nice marks but at least pass lehs. LOL. i got study wan hor. LOL.

I noe you still love me , but why must you keep pushing me tuh Cass? will you really be happy if i patch with Cass? i dont care if you dont mind that i patch with her , what i care abt is do you really wanna see me tgt with her mahs? why must you be so wei da tuh let her have me , and let yourself suffer alone? you noe i hate tuh see you like this mahs? i cant deny , it hurts tuh let you go and im sorry for always hurting you. from th past till now. i just dint have th courage tuh face up and admit my fault , but now , i will okays. i noe all th faults started with me. you should noe why i let you go , becos you made me disappointed again and again. YOU LIED tuh me , so many times , that is th only reason why i let go. it isnt becos i found Cass thats why i let you go , it isnt becos i dont love you anymore. you said that you wanna help me patch with Cass , but why? why would you still treat me so nice , trying tuh matchmake me and Cass , aft so many times of me hurting you? i noe you dont feel gd , but why must you hide? i cant deny that i still care abt you , and i still syg you. by all my actions on Sunday im sure you can tell. or rather , you can feel it , cant you? you noe i still care abt you , still love you , dont you? you can act as if you dont feel anything , but my heart can tell that you are hiding. hiding all your feelings. i really dont wish tuh see you being hurt by me. i asked Cass tuh pass msg tuh you , tuh pass so many hurtful and nasty words tuh you , and when you come out , you still can tok tuh me so nicely , you still can treat me so nice. if i were tuh say that i have never been touched by what you did , im lying. i appreciated whatever you did. im not a heartless person. yeahs , i admit , behind you , i did alot of nonsense with many other girls. i noe its my fault. im sorry. i noe i have hurt you , i noe im a bad guy tuh you. i dont worth your love. i hurted you , i used harsh words on you. you said that you dont hate me , but i hate myself for hurting you. I'm sorry that i cant be th one, i cant bring you happiness. maybe when you let go of me you will feel better bahs. forget me girl , im sure you can find a much much more better one. if it hurts you tuh love me , i would rather you hate me. take care girl , im still here for you , even though just as frens. i still care abt you.

shall end my post lerhs. take care peeps. byes !

* i noe its my fault
im not good enough for you
You deserve someone better
and I'm no one tuh make you suffer *

2010-01-15T20:38:00.002+08:00

IT HAS BEEN A LONGGGGGGGGGGGG TIME EVER SINCE I LAST UPDATED. LOLOL. I'm sorry my dear BLOGGY. hahahas.

have been schooling luhs nowadays. yeahs , sch reopened and im now in sec 4 lerhs. finally , i must say. overall , still okays lahs. im studying hard like how i did last year. yeahs , hw after sch, thats my routine everyday. BORING rights? LOL. but , NO CHOICE. sutdies is still my priority afterall. LOLS. th only diff is that almost every sch day after sch , i will fetch Anna from work if she ends at 6. so ended up every time also reach home at abt 10plus PM. then reach home lerhs before i go tuh bed i still always tok on th phone with Anna till abt 12AM then can go tuh slp. yeahs. my life is full of Anna , studies , and friends. im so lazy tuh blog in much now. all i can say is that , my Romance is OUT of my life lerhs. she told me too many lies lerhs. so forget it. i dont bother anymore. enough is enough. i cant deny that it hurts tuh let go , but i have tuh. NOW , im SINGLE for abt 2 months lerhs. LONG rights? but okay lahs , at least got th freedom tuh go and hong around. LOL. but i think i love A***. but i wont be with her now cos she has a "BF" lerhs. abt me and A*** , i dont wanna state much down here. quite confidential lahs. yeahs. it doesnt matter lahs. have been drinking quite alot these few months. mostly with Anna lahs. cos we both stay quite near each other mahs. LOL. yeahyeah. this year N lvl lerhs , i will strive hard derhs. yeahs , really hope i can score at least 2 A1s - ( Eng and POA). all th best tuh me , and i will work hard ! :D hahahas. shall end here lerhs. take care everyone. wish me th best of luck in everything alrights? thanks :D

2010-01-01T20:44:00.002+08:00

Yesterday,
went drink aft work with my colleagues at Tamp. drank Carlsberg and Absolute Vodka. Omg , it was a miracle that i wasnt even drunk aft mixing liqour and beer. hahas. just that my head was heavy and was very hyper till i went back home lerhs still shout here and there. hahas. reached home at abt 3plus AM. but before that i sent Anna home first lahs. wahs , she very power siahs. vomited in th cab. luckily th cab driver got plastic bag if not , selamat lahs ! hahahas. ytd quite boring lahs. work and work. drink and drink. and slept at 4AM. Zzz. thats abt it.

Today,
woke up at 8AM tuh wake Anna up cos she has tuh work at 10AM. after that i went back tuh slp. hahhaas. then 9plus , when Anna otw tuh work , she called me and i was stil half aslp when i was toking tuh her on th phone. i just answered her "hmm , arghs " only. hahahas. tired lahs , cant blame me mahs. hahahas. after that , woke up at 1 plus PM and went tuh have me lunch , then slept back again till 4 PM , then wake up and bath. then went tuh fetch Anna from work. she ended work at 6 PM. then bring her go eat , slack , and sent her home. so here i am , again , blogging in.

NOWADAYS ,
LOVE=
messed up. heart is still not stable even though my mind has already been made up , that i wanna be with my Romance. i do miss her , but.. idk how much i love her , or rather , do i REALLY love her. sighs. My love for her can be felt at times , but at other times , it cant be felt. i really dont noe what tuh do. taking things slowly perhaps?

FRIENDSHIP=
currently on th way tuh losing one of my brother , th one who i have always trusted and who is closest tuh me. for a week , she has not been returning my calls and replying my msgs. when i dont even noe whats gg on , why she is angry with me , what wrong did i do , or rather , have i really done smth wrong?? i tried tuh recall back what i have done , but i still cant figure out what wrong have i done. i just wondered , why must she kip everything tuh herself if she is unhappy with me , or what i did , why cant she just tell me off , confront me , straightaway. why must she drag until now , then slowly let me realise her drifting away from me , just why must she handle this ting this way? if im really a brother of hers , why cant she just be straightfoward with me? must wait till i realise th changes in her , when OTHERS noe what went wrong btwn me and her , when i noe nothing , until i kip trying tuh msg her , then she say wanna meet me up and tok abt it? Yeahs , tmr i meeting her tuh tok abt it , whatever th prob was. frankly , i was very anxious , what is th prob btwn me and her? i have never encounter frenship prob like this , and this is th first time. becos , usually if ever a fren treats me like this , i would just fuck care. but she is a brother who i really treasure and appreciate , and i wouldnt want tuh lose a fren like her. oh God , just what went wrong btwn us? just tell me what tuh do anyone , for tmr , i dont noe what will things end up like. its scary. Arghs !

anw , TODAY IS NEW YEAR ! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE ! sorry , i got no mood for any new year wishes or anything. finally i can say this month , im turning 18 ! hahahahs ! my birthday is coming :D heh heh heh. shall end here. take care everyone ! all th best ! BYES !

2009-12-28T14:43:00.002+08:00

Sat,
went tuh work from 6 till 10 plus. then after that i teman Anna tuh her house downstair tuh drink. i never drink. just see her drink niahs. then went home at 2AM. and i quarrelled with my mom. OMG. not again. arghs. irritating lahs ! then went tuh slp aft bathing.

Sun,
i OFF :D but i went down tuh my workplace tuh pass my manager th xmas hat. then shun bian at there do my homework and my favourite American Brownie ! stayed there from 4PM till 10plus PM. hahahas. then sent Anna home. then go home and bath. toked tuh Anna on th phone for awhile and she asked me tuh call Sue. so i called Sue , and hold Anna on th other line. tok tuh Sue halfway and she suddenly cried and burst everything out. she was very low in spirits. and tot of committing suicide. so i tok her ard , toked tuh her on th phone for very long , which means putting Anna on hold for very long too. half an hour if im not wrong. wahs , tired mans. hear her cry i also wan tuh cry. her situation is smth like mine when i was still in love with Cindy. so i roughly can understand how she felt. just that hers was worst than mine. then aft put down th phone with her , i went tuh slp lerhs.

Today ,
i woke up by Anna's call at 1plus PM. she wanted tuh meet me now , with Yan. so i went tuh eat and bath lerhs , she say she otw tuh work lerhs. wtf , everytime also last min wan siahs. but in th end she apologized tuh me lahs. so here i am now , blogging in lerhs luhs. wtf. still tired mans. this morning actually woke up at 9plus AM cos i was coughing very badly non stop , so i cant tahan and i went tuh take some cough syrup and i went back tuh slp. Anna called me wake up lerhs , head was still very heavy and blank. later im gg tuh work at 6. so i tink i better run now. take care everyone.

Romance , i dread for th sch tuh reopen actually , but upon noeing that i could tok tuh you when th sch reopen , i cant wait ! i miss you girl , and i never wanna disappoint you anymore. be good inside and i will wait for you tuh be out. no matter what it takes , what others say , how silly i seem tuh be , I WILL STILL WAIT.

2009-12-24T15:55:00.003+08:00

Last Sat,
ended work at 11plus and then teman Nikie and Anna tuh drink at Telepark. drank until quite late. after that we cabbed back tuh Anna house. she got off th cab and she merlion blood. OMG. i was so freaked up lahs ! dint noe what tuh do at that point of time. then acc her tuh th void deck cos she was too weak tuh walk. her tummy was aching and she was moaning in pain. OMG. i was so freaked up siahs. Zzz. then sent her home at 5plusAM. went home and bath and slept at 6AM. OMG !

Last Sunday,
So sad that my Romance wasnt out for her outing. her mom dint bring her out. so shagged lahs. T.T then i just send Anna tuh work and shun bian go meet Sher , Maine , Xiaoru & all th SGH girls. we walked ard Tamp1 and we saw Miss Cindy. OMG ! how suey is that ! hahahas. what a SGH day lahs cans. LOL. then, they all wanna go play pool at Safra , while i went tuh acc Anna for her break. then went tuh Queenstown tuh meet Jonas , Jiayuan and Yongliang. we went tuh IKEA. eat , and walk walk. hahahahas. then we kup cab down tuh tamp again. went tuh my workplace tuh eat. i ate th shepherd's pie. quite nice. alot of mashed potatoes. and i felt so full. POTATOES ! thats Her favourite ! hahahas. then slacked outside Tamp1 and Jonas , Jyuan and her bf went off first. left me alone wait for Anna tuh finish work at 10. then sent her back home. OMG. i was dead beat lahs cans. slept for 3 hours only=.= damned TIRED. went home tuh bath and headed straight tuh my lalaland lerhs.

Tuesday,
went tuh meet Jonas and Aubrey at Bugis. then pei them tuh shop for their things. then we went tuh eat at BK. after that we trained down tuh Jurong West tuh find Cindy. it was her bday and i wanna pass her th present :)

Cindy: Happy Birthday yeahs? Birthday girl ! Have a good year older ! dont be so stubborn like how you have been. yao hui xiang yi dian lerhs ok? cannot be like a small girl anymore lerhs. one yr older lerhs lehs. so , DONT STEP CUTE ANYMORE PLEASE!! hahahahas. PEACE ! take care and hope you like th gift i bought for you. :D

then we trained back tuh tamp. was late for work. OMG, not again. went home after work and K.O.

Today,
I off. and early in th morning at 9plus , i was woken up by Anna who asked me tuh go Clementi tuh fetch her. last night she went tuh club. and was drunk so she slept at her godsis house. then reached clementi at bt 12Noon. met up with her and brought her tuh town , actually wanna watch movie derhs , Chipmunks , but she see th crowd then dont wanna watch lerhs. so i brought her tuh eat at KFC and i saw Juliana. wat a small world. she was working there. then toked tuh her for awhile. aft eating , then sent Anna back home and here i am , at th lan shop lerhs. hehehe. later maybe gg back tuh town tuh meet Jyuan and Jonas for movie. they watching th Avatar. ^^ shall blog til here lerhs bahs. take care everyone on earth :D

Romance , i miss you so much. just when will you be out ? i cant wait tuh meet you lahs. i wanna do alot of things with you , i wanna spend alot of time with you. but yet you cant be out. and im left alone out here suffering my days without you. but still , i gonna carry on waiting , and i wont give up so easily. really hope that you will be th right one for me. I miss you syg.

2009-12-18T20:52:00.002+08:00

SUNDAY ,
I met my Romance at her house at Woodlands. her sister's baby derhs man yue , so they open buffet at her house. wahs , her house damned crowded mans. NO JOKE ! scary siahs. i met her at her house downstair and her mom seems tuh trust me abit lerhs. she allowed my Romance tuh meet me and tok tuh me on th phone. :D A GOOD START ! ^^ Jonas was with me too. and we slacked at her house downstair for quite a long time. HAPPY siahs. then after that my Romance go up first , left me and Jonas at her house downstair , chatting , and Jonas somehow brain washed me :/ then me and Jonas went tuh eat first while waiting for my Romance tuh be ready. wahs , she took so long tuh bath and everything lahs. i tink got 2 hours mans D: wait like siao. then me and jonas went up tuh her house at abt 4plus gg tuh 5. cos i working at 6. then surprisingly , her mom let me and Jonas in tuh her house and sitsit. FIRST TIME SIAHS ! felt so FORTUNATE lahs cans. bought my future sister in law derhs baby a man yue present , a MILK BOTTLE ! :D cute rights? then passed th present tuh Romance sister. hahas. slacked at Romance house till 5 plus then i really need tuh go lerhs. so me and Jonas went tuh take cab down tuh Tamp. and halfway in th cab , i realised that my uniform is left at my Romance house. so we asked th taxi driver tuh U-turn back tuh my Romance house. and when we reached my Romance house back , th cab fare was $22+. WAHS ! heartpain siahs. i paid for th cab fare , but Jonas said that she will pay me half of it. so its $11. yups. broke lerhs lahs. then went tuh take my things lerhs jiu rushed down tuh work lerhs. reached workplace at abt 7PM. was damned late ! OMG.

GENERALLY ,
this week have been a working week lahs , thats all i can say. except for Wednesday , i OFF. but i went out with Anna tuh Tiong Bahru tuh eat , watch movie, Couples Retreat. quite a FUNNY MOVIE lahs. rating 4stars. more abt romance that kinda movie lahs. not bad. then after th movie , brought her tuh KFC for dinner again. my treats. HEES :D then we bused back tuh Bedok. wahs , it was like damned far lahs cans. 1hour+ derhs journey. and Anna was like slping on my shoulder for almost half th journey. wahs , she damned heavy lahs cans. hand cramp mans. hahahas. =X then she acc me go drink at a park nearby tuh her house . drank 4 big cans of Carlsberg , and i still wasnt really that lost. just feel kinda seh only lahs. then after that , she brought me tuh 7-11 tuh buy cig , and she was like holding on tuh my hands wherever i go , scared i fall down =.= i got so weak mahs? then she came out of th 7-11 with a box of chocolates for me. wow , so sweet ehs? :D she noe i like chocolates. hahahas. we went back tuh th park tuh finish my drinks. after that , she offered tuh send me home , but i delined. instead , i sent her home first. then went home tuh bath and tok on th phone with her. hahahas. after that slp lerhs. wahs. worn out mans !

Thursday ,
worked at 12 till 6 actually , but kena held back by my manager becos it was very crowded. then can only go at 8+pm. wahs , damned sot lerhs. FUCKING tired and HUNGRY ! cos th whole day i dint eat , just work and work ! NO BREAK NOTHING ! CONTINUOUSLY 8 hours of working ! OMG . was damned dulan and i anyhow work. wasnt focused at all. so i finally ended work at 8 plus , then went tuh eat , jiu slacked awhile , then went tuh buy Long John for Anna , cos she ending work at 10 , and she havent eat yet. then bought Long John for her at waited for her tuh end work at SR derhs taxi stand. wait for her until th food also cold lerhs ahs. wahs. ALONE somemore. then Yan came and i dint really tok tuh her lahs. just a hi maybe. then sent Anna home and went tuh drink at my house nearby derhs park alone. quarrelled with my mom. drink till till abt 4plus AM , then finally i went home. and i was quite mabok lerhs. OMG. moabok till idk where and how i got a scratch on my face. LOL. went home bath and slp.

TOday ,
went tuh work at 12 as normal , till 6. then went tuh eat with my colleague Nurul. then after that , went tuh meet up with Anna and pei her drink at TM smoking area. after that pei her tuh buy food for her family then sent her home and here i am , at th lan shop. sians. tmr gonna work at 12 again. so tonight gonna slp early. no more drinking. im going home soon lerhs. shall blog off now. take care peeps. Ciaos !

Maybe what Sher said is true , my heart and feelings is not stable yet. so i shouldnt rush tuh going on back with my Romance first. i should take things slowly. and yeahs , i also think that my heart is not that fixed yet , its still floating in th sea. Ever since Cindy left me, i have never been stable lerhs. but i have been trying very hard tuh be strong and move on lerhs. Right now , idk what i should do. I do very much wanna be with my Romance back , but yet im afraid of getting hurt and hurting her too. becos i cant say i really love her very much , th fact is idk how much i love her. this means that my heart is not stable yet ! i syg Anna still , and i just wanna see her happy , and not hurt when shes with Yan. cos tuh me , she is IMPORTANT in my life. idk how long more she have tuh live , but i just wanna make her happy before she goes, and i wanna pamper her like no one every did before. so that even if ever her day has come for her tuh leave , i cant deny it will be a torture for me , and im gonna burst out , go crazy , lose myself and i will just not be myself , but at least at th very end , i still had our memories with me which i will bring it with me wherever i go, my all my life. for Cindy , i tink i still love her , but its fading lerhs. thats why i tink i should let my heart stable down first then go on with my ROmance.

2009-12-11T22:26:00.003+08:00

Ytd ,
went tuh work at 12 till 6. then after tat pei Anna go Bedok Reservoir tuh cut her hair. then we slacked and fagged, and i brought her tuh Mac tuh grab a bite. MY TREATS. hahahas.then sent her home at 11 plus. then i go home myself lerhs. reached home talked tuh Anna on th phone while bathing. hahahas. after she put down , Jonas called me up and me and her toked on th phone till abt 4AM. so long never tok tuh her lerhs. hahahas. then went tuh slp.

Today,
went tuh work at 12 as usual. till 6 , then went tuh cut hair , AGAIN , at Bedok Reservoir with Anna. she pei me go cut hair. :D then after that , we went tuh a park and slacked again.she quarrelled with Yan , and she cried. for th FIRST time , i saw her cry. felt like crying too derhs. but i told myself that i cant show her th weaker side of myself. and she was very weak at that point of time , so she need someone stronger tuh be with her. and im th someone. i sat right beside her and tried tuh console her. but i noe , nth helps. i cant do anything also , beside offering her my shoulder for her tuh cry on. sighs. then i sent her back home. after she went off , then i realised that her jacket is still with me. lol. then i kip her jacket first luhs. th next time i see her then i return her back bahs. :D her jacket smell of her , so nice smell. :D and her i am , blogging in again ^^ till here , take care everyone , EXCEPT FOR SERINA & KEVIN & WHOEVER2 lahs.

TO PASSER and that FAKE "Emerson" on my tagboard:
Please lahs ehs. stop wasting ur time trying tuh spam and spam. you tink my frens stupid ahs? they noe im NOT th one who ask them tuh fuck off and scold them ugly derhs lahs. come on mans. you dont need ACT as if you noe me and th rs btwn me and my frens. so you fucking don even tink of SPOILING th rs btwn me and my frens. its NOT GONNA WORK ! get this CLEAR into your bloody BRAIN. YOU NBCB ! i dont care who th fuck are you , you not happy , just dui wo lai. DONT BE JEALOUS THAT I HAVE MORE FRENS THAN YOU AND FRENS THAT WILL BE THERE FOR ME. even if my frens dont help me , i can handle myself. IF YOU WANT , YOU CAN ALWAYS GIVE ME A CALL , I CAN ALWAYS PLAY ALONG WITH YOU DERHS. TAKE ME ON IF YOU ARE A HUMAN WITH BRAIN. YOU BLOODY USELESS WEAKLING AND PATHETIC LONER WITH NO FRENS. FANCY YOU TRYING TUH ACT ME AND TAG IN MY TAGBOARD. OMG , DONT POLLUTE MY NAME MANS. YOU ARE NOT UP TUH IT TUH BE EMERSON LAHS OKAYS, COS IM TH ONLY EMERSON IN THIS BLOG. SO YOU JOLLY WELL NOE WHO ARE YOU AND DONT HAVE TUH WASTE YOUR BLOODY DOG TIME HERE BARKING AND DRAMA-ING. DISLIKE ME ? THEN YOU DONT HAVE TUH ENTERTAIN ME DERHS. I'M NOT LACK OF FRENS , OR RATHER , I DONT FANCY PPL LIKE YOU. SO YOU CAN XIU XIANG YAO TIAO BO LI JIAN. LISTEN UP DOG , ITS NOT GONNA WORK. COS MY FRENS NOE ME WELL , AT LEAST BETTER THAN YOU DO. SO DONT MACAM FAHAM. THICK SKINNED DOG. FUCK YOUR MOM AND YOUR BLOODY DOG FAMILY. MOTHERLESS BITCH !

To ALL MY FRENS and READERS:
I'm glad that you all noe me well, and trust me enough that im not that kinda person. thanks guys ! you noe who you are :D so DONT LET THAT SPAMMER SPOIL OUR FRENSHIP OK? LET THAT DOG SEE THAT WE ARE BEYOND ITS EXPECTATION. TUH PREVENT MORE MISUNDERSTANDING , I WONT TAG ANYMORE AT MY BLOG DERHS TAGBOARD. INSTEAD , I WILL REPLY TH TAGS THROUGH MY POST.

Romance , 1 more day ! i cant wait lahs! i miss you so muchhhh ! you are my one and only. no matter what happen , i will be with you. you are my love , my fate. and i wont let you go anymore. i never wanna say goodbye , not anymore.

2009-12-09T21:54:00.003+08:00

Today ,
i OFF. but i dint really go out lahs. basically was just staying at home for th whole day , slp n eat n slp n eat. thats all i did. until 4plus PM , then went tuh bath and went tuh gym at Tamp. aft that , went home at 8plus. then reach home tuh put my things down lerhs , jiu went down tuh eat. after that here i am , blogging in lerhs. Ytd dint get th chance tuh blog in , aiyahs also dont what tuh blog in lahs. nothing unusual happen mahs. toked tuh Sher th whole night and went tuh slp at 3plus coming tuh 4 in th morning. woahs , stiming mans. 2 more days tuh my Romance HL. cant wait siahs. OMG , miss her so much. last night still dreamt of her. a funny dream lahs. LOL. now my muscle is aching lerhs. OMG. have been carrying weight for abt 1 1/2 hours. woahs , now my muscle swollen till so big mans. carried th 6kg dumbell. not really heavy lahs but just tiring cos kip carrying mahs. felt so noob at th gym cos it was my first time gg tuh Tamp derhs gym and everything is like so MO SHEN tuh me lahs. LOL. cos th previous time i go gym was with Cindy , Jonas and Ahwyn at Cindy's uncle house. that time i still pei her swim mans. hahahs. i very touching rights? hahahas. tyty. MEMORIES mans. OMG. miss those times lahs. sighs. tmr i working at 12. Zzz. sians. hopefully i can end work early bahs. TIRED lahs. i slept for almost th whole day lerhs yet im still tired. hahahas. dont noe whats wrong with my body. arghs. shall blog off lerhs lahs. tmr gotta wake up early. take care peeps. byes :D

Romance :
2 more days and im counting on for you. I miss you so much mans !!! till i even dreamt of you last night. you gotta be good inside ok? and take care of yourself , must eat properly ok? I LOVE YOU ^^

Ytd you told me that you and Him nothing lerhs. and i was so happy tuh hear that actually. but i dint show it out. i dont noe why i will feel this way , perhaps , im already use tuh feeling this way when things like this happen lerhs bahs. pls God , tell me this is just a habit , and i dont love her anymore. Even if i do , i wont let history repeat itself anymore. im just gonna close my eyes tightly and let it pass, and im gonna tell myself , " I HAVE MOVED ON WITH MY ROMANCE , SO HAVE SHE. "

TO PASSER :
what Sher said is right. you dont have tuh noe abt my life , if you dont wish tuh let me noe who are you. I noe you are someone who i noe , and who noe me. but i really cant figure out why you can be so interested whats A-Y and yet so scared tuh let me , or rather any reader of my blog , noe who on earth are you. play games behind th com got what STIM siahs? ZHI SHUANG ahs? Laugh My Ass Off. If you are really so interested abt A-Y , PUT YOUR BLOODY BIG NAME DOWN. otherwise , you are not welcome here. cos my blog is only meant for ppl who noes how tuh respect their own names tuh read. towards ppl like you , is UNWANTED HERE. so fucking you just FUCK OFF, if you dont wish tuh co-operate with ME , th owner of this blog. Thank you. anything not towards your liking , just put your name/number down. i will get tuh you ASAP.

2009-12-07T20:02:00.004+08:00

Today ,
Went tuh work as usual at 12 PM. then worked till 6PM. aft work went tuh eat and went tuh library tuh write letter tuh my Romance. hahahas. miss her mans. This sat she will be out lerhs. cant wait mans. hahahas. then bused back tuh Bedok tuh find Yan. MY darling. hahahahas. sound GAY? hahahas. whatever lahs , thats bwtn me and my DARLING :D hahahahs. and here we are , blogging in. today whole day at Cake , sians Zzz. stress pe? then they say i very quiet when at cake. hahahas. of cos lahs , dont noe what tuh say also mahs. Nikie and Anna not there. so boring. leave me alone there tuh work. Zzz. msg Cindy while i was working. and thats abt it lahs. tmr working at 6PM. finally got th time tuh have a gd rest. damn tired....... okays lahs , blogging off now. take care peeps. byes.

I'm still waiting for you tuh be out my Romance. I miss you so.

Because of you , its so difficult for me tuh love someone th way i loved you. my heart can never love anyone else th way i loved you. Because of you , I'm afraid that hurts will strike me any time. seeing you move on , seeing you love Him , i didnt really feel that good , but at least this time i noe , that your life is happier. you have moved on , and so did i. but i really dont noe whether will i have th courage tuh congrat you if i see you with Him on th streets one day. Yes, everything is in th past lerhs , but i take those memories as Living Memories that can never get out of my heart.

2009-12-07T02:10:00.009+08:00

These are th pics that i long ago wanted tuh put in blog but never had th chance tuh. they are not just pics , they contains memories wan hor ! sighs.

2009-12-07T01:29:00.002+08:00

Friday,
after work went tuh eat with my colleagues at mac. then lepak with Nikie at TM. then meet up with Yan & Anna. Then we sent Anna back home. Then went home lerhs luhs.

Saturday,
i OFF. woke up at 12. then went tuh prepare & met Yan at Bedok inter. then teman her tuh Hougang tuh take her things. then we bused back tuh Bedok, Meibao's house , tuh put Yan's thing. then went tuh eat at Meibao's house nearby derhs coffeeshop. aft that we bused down Clarke Quay cos Yan wanna go collect her pay. walked ard Clarke Quay with her and we saw so many hot chicks! woah! got th temptation tuh club mans ! then aft taking her pay , we trained tuh tam tuh meet up with Anna and Mirah. Slacked awhile then me , Yan & Anna bused home lerhs. i sent Anna home and i went home lerhs. whole day was with Yan , & long hours on th bus. Zzz. but we took lots of crazy photos. hahahas. too bored on th bus lerhs. hahahas, & we cracked alot of dirty jokes too. Omg , i want tuh.... but my romance not out yet:( gonna wait for her tuh be out. miss her mans. sighs.

Sunday,
woke up at 11AM. was not feeling well, having headache and bad cough, and flu too. took th flu medicine and then went tuh work. wahs , damn STIM mans. seh siahs. went tuh work at 12plus PM. until 10plus PM. wahs , tiring mans. then slack with Anna and Nikie at TM till 11plus PM then went home lerhs. and here i am. hahahas. gonna make a move tuh upload pic lerhs. tmr i gg tuh work at 12 again. sians. take care peeps. byes !

2009-12-04T16:23:00.002+08:00

it has been so long ever since i updated. lots of things happened durong th days when i wasnt online tuh update my pathetic blog. have been working basically for th past week. and have been toking tuh Cindy on th phone till late at nights. ended up always slp at 4 plus AM. tried mans. Zzz. me and Shalini has stopped contacting also lerhs. but some funny incidents still happened btwn me and her. hahahas. ytd went tuh meet Kat and Jonas at CGH, then went tuh eat then we pei Kat go collect her pay at Novena. then Kat treated us eat i/c siahs. so nice of her. hahahahas. thanks wor. love you many many ^^
then we went tuh find Serina at Plaza Sing. she was with Kevin and all. and Kevin's neck got love bite siahs. but Kevin dont have girlf now so i tink Serina is th one who gave Kevin th lovebite on her neck. and Kevin kissed Serina infront of me siahs ! wtf , Serina was my girlf at that point of time siahs.

To Kevin : cb , dont noe how tuh respect ppl derhs is it? knn, fuck your ass you bloody butcher. I've always respected you and this is what you give me? kissing my girlf infront of me? i never give you on your face is already very good lerhs hor. you this butcher , since you love Serina, th clump of OIL , so much , go ahead with her. fancy you picking up thrash ( SERINA ) that i throw away. you no dignity derhs ahs? disgrace tuh th bungs. pathetic butcher. you jolly well noe i was with her and you still did all those with her. where is your respect for me? so since you have not respected me , so dont you fucking blame me for being so nasty and mean with my words tuh you right now. yahs you can kiss any girl you like but NOT SOMEONE'S ELSE GIRLF ! this logic you also dont noe , need a 17 yrs old bung tuh teach you this 26yrs OLD bung? come on lahs. you need serina so much , i give this clump of OIL tuh you now. enjoy sucking her OIL every night bahs. she also very horny derhs , so enjoy your nights with that clump of OIL bahs. im sry tuh say that SERINA'S pussy has already been made loose by my powerful fingers and skills. so sad that you have tuh kio my sai. but be careful , dont tear her skin and flood th whole Singpore with OIL , cos there are alot of innocent souls out there. Thank you. Anything you not sua with me derhs , dont you fucking hesitate tuh give me a call any time. my number is with that clump of OIL , Serina. i will be waiting for your call , disgusting butcher.

ytd had a tok with them. Kevin , Serina , Katherine , Jonas , Serina's sister and myself. things turned out tuh be very sucky. then went tuh work aft that. tok tuh Serina on th phone and she made me so sot with her that i shouted at her on th phone , when i was at th Male toilet at that point of time. what th shit rights. SLUT is what she acts tuh be. but given her looks and ability , she cant even qualify as a SLUT. cos SLUTS definitely have looks and FIGURE ! she? OMG , BUANG lahs siahs ! disgrace tuh women. bung not like bung , girl not like girl. labeless loser. worked till 10 plus then went home. toked tuh Sher on th phone and told her th whole incident abt me and Serina. hahahas. then gossip here and there. hahahs. after toking tuh Sher , then tok tuh Cindy on th phone. tok till 3plus AM. then went tuh slp. now im gg tuh work lerhs. working at 6PM till 10PM. take care peeps. shall update again soon.

PS: 1 more week tuh my Romance's HL , i miss her mans. cant wait tuh see her. arghs ! :D

2009-11-26T22:37:00.003+08:00

Today ,
woke up at 11.15 when im working at 12. had a BIG quarrel with my mom again. early morning nag at me lerhs. i woke up late so i dont have th time tuh go and buy breakfast for her and she can becos of this then KP me so much. she is just too demanding mans. OMG. wth. was late for work again , as usual. hahahas. then worked till 6PM , jiu went tuh eat. damned hungry. work until dint even have th time tuh eat. KESIAN hor? hahahas. then saw Chris and her frens at outside my workplace , so slacked with them for awhile at th taxi stand then Chris tell me that Joanna coming tuh meet us. then pei them go walk walk at TM and all luhs. Pei them tuh TM Hagen Daaz eat. but i dint eat lahs. Hahahas. then walk over tuh mrt tuh meet Joanna. then pei her go eat at east link. aft that went tuh fag and slack with them at th inter there. then bused back tuh Bedok lerhs. now im at my house nearby derhs lanshop updating my bloggg. hahahas. Chris fren jio me go club tmr. but i dont tink im gg cos i wanna wait for my pay tuh come first. yeahs yeahs :D get along with her frens lahs. easy going and had alot of fun toking cock with them , making them laugh their ass off. hahahahas. funny lahs. hahahahas. tmr im working FULL SHIFT. OMG. sighs. but tmr hari raya , hope there will be double pay bahs. :D okays lahs , i gtg lerhs. tmr gotta work , so must slp early. take care everyone.

To "a" :
I'm sorry that I dont tell ppl who i dont noe abt me and Shalini. If you are really interested , kindly leave down your BIG name and i will get back tuh you. However , if you don't , kindly mind your own business and don't bother abt my blog. Thank you.

2009-11-25T19:16:00.002+08:00

Last Monday ,
met Teresa & Anna at CGH , then we 3 went tuh visit Yan at th hosp. she kena admitted. then after that i went tuh work liaos. Teresa actually dont want me tuh go work derhs , kip psychoing me not tuh go work. LOLOLOL. but no choice , i cant paidao already. so went tuh work but late. worked till10plus then went tuh meet Anna and sent her home :D after that went tuh eat at coffeeshop. then went tuh find Shalini at her house cos she is my neighbour who stay at th same blk as me. chatted with her & tok cock with her , & reached home at abt 3plus AM. she called me & again we toked on th phone. i can hear frm her voice that she is very tired lerhs ,& i asked her tuh slp but she dont wan , she say she wan tuh tok tuh me & hear my voice. LOLOL. step touching only. then i finally made her go slp lerhs , then went tuh bath and slp too :D

Last Tuesday,
woke up at 10 plusAM then went down tuh buy breakfast for my mom & myself . aft eating then went tuh bath then went tuh find Shalini at her house. sat at her house while waiting for her tuh finish bathing and preparing. Omg , girls are always girls ! take hours tuh doll up themselves! =.= then bring her with me tuh meet Anna at 7-11. after that we tgt go CGH tuh visit Yan but me and Shalini dint visit her becos of some reasons. so after that , i teman Shalini go back Bedok HQ tuh take her urine test.saw her fren & so her fren followed us. then went tuh her fren house tuh watch video then me and her train down tuh Bugis tuh meet Jonas and co. went tuh eat at th food court then went tuh play arcade cum walk walk. after taht , abt 8plus PM, me and Shalini trained back tuh her house. slacked and toked tuh her mom. :D then went tuh staircase there and toktok tuh her & whatever with her. but dont anyhow think , i never A-Z with her lahs , not even Y yet. LOLOLOL. slacked with her at th staircase there till 12plus midnight , then she teman me go down bus food for my mom. after that i went home tuh bath lerhs jiu slp lerhs. i must say that i love tuh FEEL her , and she is a gd KISSER. LOL !

Last Wednesday,
was down with flu , & woke up as late as 12:15 PM cos i took th flu medicine, supposed tuh work at 12 noon , but overslept. then rushed tuh bath & work. reached workplace at abt 1PM and worked till 6PM. after that went tuh eat with my colleague Zana , then went home tuh bath lerhs. after bathing , went tuh Shalini's house. She was SICK too , & so i took care of her. aft that i brought her for a walk at a park nearby. we were holding hands and walking in th park. & i could feel th sweetness and ROMANCE. th way that she touched me , hugged me , kissed me , she gave me a very strong and RIGHT feeling. th feeling is so right, and i enjoyed that feeling. it was quite a long walk, then we sit down & tok at a bench.and we whatever again lahs. after that went tuh her house and we A-X. LOL. her sister was lying down at th matteress beside us then. hahahahs. after that she teman me go down eat. then i sent her home and went home after that.

Last Thurs,
woke up by my mom at 10 plus. then went tuh buy Barley for Shalini. she was sick. then slack with her for awhile then went tuh work liaos. worked full swing & im sick. sighs. then went tuh Shalini's house & A-Y. right infront of her sister somemore at th living rm.her sister was watching TV but we pandai pandai lahs , so th sister never witness th whole process but i think she suspected it lerhs lahs. i was sitting down and she was lying down. what a position ! first time in that position luhs. LOL. after that again she teman me go down eat then i sent her home lerhs. went home and bath and slp :D

Last Friday,
went tuh work at 12-6, then went tuh eat , after that went tuh find Shalini at her house but she was not at home. then went tuh look for her and found her at blk 101. then big thing happened btwn me and her. was kinda sad thing lahs & i actually cried infront of her. sighs. we had little bit of a Heart To Heart . then everything went back tuh normal & i went th her house & we again , 3 rounds this time. hahahahahahs. quite enjoyable lahs. she is a gd player on bed mans. i love it , th way she moves and everything. after that , went tuh eat and i home swt home.

Last Sat ,
worked from 12 - 10. after work went tuh find Shalini at her house again. my Ex , Nordiana , who is also her buddy, & another girl was at her house too. then slacked awhile then go home liaos.

Last Sunday,
woke up at 8 and went tuh find Romance KQ at Woodlands with Jonas. went up tuh her hse doorstep and toked tuh her secretly. she helped Wyn tuh hiong out th letter for Jonas and she herself also wrote one tuh me. found out alot of things , and was kinda touched by her letter lahs. miss her mans. Dx then we left her house at abt plus tuh meet Sher at Causeway Point. then tgt bused down tuh SGH cos Wyn asked ppl tuh pass msg tuh Jonas tuh wait outside SGH at 630. then we waited outside luhs. saw alot of HL / outing girls returning back. hahahahas. miss th life inside mans. waited for Romance KQ tuh go back also. Her dad sent her back thats why i cant tok tuh her , only can look and wave at her. sad hor? DDxJonas helped me tuh shout tuh my Romance , and Sher tuh shout tuh her Ray. hahahas. and of cos she also shouted for her Beloved and Fondly Missed derhs Xiao WynWyn lahs. hahahas. saw Romance at th staircase and look down at me so i waved at her. then she shouted tuh me that she miss me. was very happy :D hahahhas. i miss her too luhs. she go up band 2 liaos. so th next 2nd week she can come out for HL again liaos. ^^ miss her mans, cant wait for her tuh be out. so aft shouting , me , Sher and Jonas ran tuh th bus stop. Sher is th most humji one down there , scared kena caught, hahahas. Ray also got shout for her too & i guerss Sher must be very happy too bahs. hahahas. then we took bus tuh Panjang tuh visit Xiaoer at her house. Her leg was seriously injured.
To Xiaoer : Take care alrights? get well soon :D
then after that Sher and Jonas pei me go eat. adter that me and Jonas bused home lerhs. spent th whole day at outside , tired mans !!!

Monday ,
met Jonas at Tamp inter at 2 plus PM. then folled by meeting Baby. than Jonas' fren Yupei came too. after that we 4 ppl went tuh eat cakes at my workplace , Tamp 1 Secret Recipe :D i ate th moist chocolate cake. nice mans ! love melted chocolates ! then Aubrey came tuh find us too. aft that we went tuh walk walk and all. then awhile later Baby need tuh go lerhs. then we carry on with our window shopping. Sher dint come tuh meet us. Wth ! then after that went tuh find Anna and pei her tuh break. treated her eat lunch. then went tuh work at 6 till 10. then sent Anna home lerhs , i went home and bath and slp lerhs.

Tuesday,
OFF from work , and went tuh meet up with Anna at 7-11 at 1PM. then tgt with her , bused down tuh Katong tuh meet up with Jonas , Sher and Deping. then went tuh Sing K at Katong Shopping Centre. quite cheap lahs , each person need tuh pay $6 for th drink & th room. then aft that we pei Sher go down Bugis tuh buy her thing , then bused tuh Bukit Merah. went there tuh eat Mac :D then slack slack till 10plus PM me and Jonas jiu bused home lerhs. reached home at abt 11plus. toked tuh Cindy on th phone for awhile jiu go slp lerhs. so long never tok tuh her liaos. LOL. but this time is diff lerhs :D

Today ,
went tuh work at 12-6. then aft work went tuh eat and here i am lerhs , using com in th lan shop. tot of meeting my Baby just now , but she was at Bugis and i lazy tuh go find her lahs. so here i am luhs. lots of things happened and i have not been having th time tuh update my blog , so today since i end work early , i decided tuh one shot update luhs. hahahas. tmr im working again at 12. Zzz. i miss her now. sighs. but now , idk who i love truly , and who love me truly. im just very LOST and everything is just very COMPLICATED. very hard tuh trust any girls anymore. but maybe this time round , im going tuh pursue for my Romance bahs. yahs. waiting for her tuh be out again. miss her so much. cute lahs she :D okays lahs , i wanna blog off lerhs. going home soon. take care everyone :D

Once again we toked tuh each other on th phone , but this time round th feeling is diff , from th past. you told me abt you and Him , but th feeling of Jealousy wasnt that strong lerhs , at least not as strong as th past. ytd i went tuh sing K , and sang alot of emo songs. Wo bu pei , An jing , shuo hao derhs xing fu ne , hurt so bad , Dao dai , wo hui hao hao guo , etc etc. i must say that i did have those flashbacks , but at least this time round , I DIDN'T CRY. I'm so proud of myself that I could be this strong :D However , i havent meet you for so long , i still miss you so.

2009-11-16T14:32:00.002+08:00

Today ,
woke up at 11 plus becos my mom was toking on th phone in th room. wth =.= then ate th Laksa that my mom bought for me. after that , went tuh deposit money for my mom lerhs jiu went tuh Bedok Reservoir for a hair cut at Snip Avenue. then went back home lerhs. sianns. now raining. just now Shasha called me and asked me if i can go work later at 6 not. then i told her okays lerhs. so later i wil be gg tuh work :D cakes again... nvm , train myself at cake station also gd lahs :D later gonna go and meet Teresa at CGH ( Changi General Hospital ) , she is alone there now. but noe raining too heavily lerhs , so cant go out yet. Zzz. Baby tonight maybe going tuh Malaysia tuh work siahs. Shags. then leave me alone down here lahs. good lehs she. but she told me that her boss will cfm with her whether she gg tuh Malaysia or not later at night. now , i must say that i'm fond of my Baby lerhs. starting tuh LIKE her liaos. even though she is E******* , but at least she treat me quite not bad. but one thing is that i WONT put much hope on her derhs , cos tuh me , she is still VERY HONG. so tuh play on th safe side , i have found a few other girls as my back up plans lerhs. hahahahahas. aiyahs , now derhs me , no love wont die , cos i have already lost my TRUE love lerhs , so whats th point having another time of hurt? now , im just gonna go ahead with my Baby. but im starting tuh feel that my Baby's msg are getting lesser and lesser lerhs , and more and more unloving & unsweet liaos. last time even before me and Baby were tgt , her msgs were like so sweet derhs lahs. but now, so much DIFFERENT lerhs lahs. wth. therefore i wont put anymore hopes lerhs. i wont let anyone, not even her , tuh get into my heart & hurt me anymore. till here, gotta go liaos. take care peeps.

Because of you I never stray too far from th side walk
Because of you I learnt tuh play onth safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you I find it hard tuh trust LOVE anymore
Because of you I don't noe how tuh let anyone else into my heart
Because of you I'm afraid , I'm having Phobia...

2009-11-16T01:17:00.003+08:00

Just now ,
ended work at abt 1045PM. very late rights? cos i today alone do cake closing mahs. first time i alone do lehs. dots. then kena delay becos of one stupid large order. knn , 3ooo+ cakes lehs ! think we robot uhs? Zzz. after that , went tuh buy ice cream eat with Imran, my colleague. today is Teresa's last day at work , she flying tuh China for attachment on this coming Sunday. sad siahs. cant bear tuh see her go D: hope everything will be fine for her over at China bahs. Bon Voyage !!!
Teresa , thanks for everything that we have gone through. It's sad tuh noe that you are going , and you are no longer coming tuh work at SR for th next 2 months , we gonna miss you! Dont wry , i sure will take care of Anna derhs. You better take care of yourself in China yeahs? All th best in everything you do , & take great care yeahs? Bon Voyage !!! We'll all be waiting for you tuh come back safely :D MISSES xD
went home at 11plus. then went tuh bath and here i am , blogging lerhs. gonna go slp lerhs. take care everyone :D

I have still been missing you my love. even though you have gone for good , those memories will always remain in my heart. i'll still be kiping every pic that we took tgt. i will , really. we seemed tuh be happy and loving in those pics , but just too bad , nth last. I always noe that looking back at Tears will make me Laugh , but i never knew that looking back at Our Laughters will make me wanna Cry. Having Flashbacks are nothing but a unkickable habit in my life rights now. I still miss you so Girl.

2009-11-15T17:05:00.002+08:00

Sat,
woke up at 12plus. then eat lerhs jiu go bath & trained down tuh Far East tuh meet Jonas & co abt 3plus. pei her frens go shopshop then went tuh find Maine at Pastamania. we give her face , so went there tuh eat. she gave us discount. hahahas.
Thanks wor :D
ate beef bolognese. nt bad lahs. Lol. then aft eating wo jiu rush down tuh work lerhs. Was late for work! OMG! Zzz. then work till 10PM. jiu pei Teresa & Anna go mac buy thing eat liaos. shared fries with Anna. & then Teresa went tuh buy Vodka tuh drink. She was drunk lahs, walaos. Anna also got drink , but she's a good drinker. LOL. but she not feeling well too. so i alone there never drink derhs , th most sober one. i & Anna helped tuh send Teresa home , then i send Anna home lerhs luhs. cos Anna stay very near me only. LOL. reached home at abt 1AM. went tuh bath then slp liaos.

Today ,
woke up at 12 plus becos of somebody's call. th caller was someone from SGH. i forgot her name lerhs , cos when she called , i was still half aslp. then she tell me KQ's msg. after that , i cannot slp back liaos. Zzz. tired mans. then after that , went tuh eat lunch lerhs , jiu pei my mom watch movie , and help my mom with th house chores. washed toilet bowl , wash dishes. heh heh. see i so gd rights? LOL. after that bath lerhs and went tuh lan shop. so now im in lan shop. gonna go work soon liaos. tmr think would be meeting Baby for movie. probably watching movie in town bahs. tmr i OFF :DD so im very free derhs. LOL. but Baby's working till 7plus. sianns. Zzz. okays lahs. shall blog off now lerhs. take care everyone. BYES :D

I'm still in th process of letting go , however , i still miss you. each time I watch back tuh th video i took of you when you were playing th swing at CCK there , my heart aches. At least now , you are happier. thats all that matters lerhs. Take care my love...

2009-11-13T15:08:00.007+08:00

Wed ,
went tuh work at 12 noon. all th way tuh 10PM. wahs , 10hours straight lehs. can go crazy siahs. was so dead beat lerhs by th time i went home. But Baby came tuh my workplace outside tuh see me work. so swt of her rights? LOL. Heh heh. den drawn smth for her while i was working. gonna pass it tuh her th next time i meet her bahs. aft work i msg her and ask her where is she , then she tell me that she watching movie with Kevin & frens at pasir ris. was quite pissed off by her lahs. & had a little tiff with her , AGAIN ! wth ! everyday also must quarrel one lehs us. tired luhs. then lepak with colleagues after work , & they could tell that i was very moody. they kept asking me what happened & so told them th full story. they gave me lots of advices.
Thanks guys. you noe who you all are. Thanks for being there tuh listen and care. much appreciated ! :DD
then Me , Yan , Teresa , & Anna walked over tuhmac and grab a bite. aft that , tgt walk tuh th bustop tuh take bus. i acc Anna take bus home , cos we stay very near each other. then went home tuh bath and slp.

Thurs,
woke up at 12 noon, then bought breakfast for my family and myself.aft aeting , went tuh bath and left house at 3PM. went tuh find Baby at her house. reached Baby's hse at abt 4PM, then slacked and *whatever* with Baby till 5plus. omg , my stamina is running out ! 1 hour only then feel tired lerhs. hahahahahahshashahs ! went tuh work after that. reached workplace at 6PM. luckily wasnt late. LOL. then work all th way till 10PM, lepak with colleagues , & went home tuh bath and slp.

Today ,
woke up at 12plusnoon. then went tuh eat my breakfast , then msg Baby. aft that , she called me and toked tuh her on th phone till 3PM. Baby gave me her blog email add and pw , and i went in Baby blog tuh see see. found out that she used tuh love a malay guy call zaki derhs. then tagged Baby nonsense. LOL. after that , here i am lerhs luhs , updating my pathetic blog. later still gonna work. yeahs , tired lehs. sighs. shall update again soon bahs. gotta run lerhs. take care peeps.

went in tuh my blog and tried tuh go see Her blog , but , realise that She changed Her blog link lerhs. sighssss. why must She do that? am i really bothering Her life? i didnt do anything , i didnt go and fan Her , i just didnt do anything , besides watching over Her silently , keeping myself updated of whats going on with Her life , & i just wanna noe abt Her life. is that too much? i dint expect Her tuh bother abt me , i dint expect Her tuh stop seeing that Zhu , i dint expect just anything. yahs i noe She love Him , i noe th way She treated Him is like so way DIFFERENT from th way She treated me and has been treating Me. She care so much abt Him , while towards me , ta ba wo bu dang yi hui shi. He is impt in Her life , while I'm nothing more than a flea in her eyes. Her words were harsh , & she were cruel like nobody's business. nothing could describe how i felt , besides th word HURT. I noe I'm stupid , i deserved it , cos no one ask me tuh be loving her still. i was th one who asked for all these hurts myself , & im gonna blame no one besides my own stupidity. but its not easy , tuh say forget jiu forget. cos i have always been trying tuh , but have never been able tuh do it. those memories i had with her , have been etched deeply in my heart. Girl , Just tell me why. Why cant you be like my Baby? take care my love , i noe you are leaving for sure , & i cant make you stay. you have found someone special , perhaps someone who is truly better than me. & so i noe , i gotta move on , WITHOUT turning back my head , tuh watch over you. becos you are so happily living under His care. You have been and are Happier than i tot you would be. therefore , im very rest assured tuh carry on walking through my life. i cant deny that i cant bear tuh turn my back against you , & it hurts since i have done that , i still love you , but at th same time , im letting go slowly. i noe i had , cos at least this time round when you hurt me again , I DIDNT CRY___*

2009-11-11T03:42:00.003+08:00

Pics taken on Monday. see th first pic , thats Fenny's mom with that Winnie th Pooh derhs shirt. :DD

I noe she loves that.

2009-11-11T02:52:00.003+08:00

Monday ,
woke up at 11plus. then went tuh meet Jonas at MS at abt plus. waited for her from 3 till nearly 4 luhs. but nvm , she is sick. so i understand lahs :D then we went tuh eat at MS mac, my old workplace. heh heh. saw my last time derhs colleague ^^ after that , we went ard MS , while waiting for Baby. Baby was at Chinatown. then at abt 6 plus , we trained tuh Outram Park tuh meet up with Baby and Fenny. Then 4 of us cabbed down tuh sengkang , Fenny's house. then sitsit at her house , tok tuh her mom , then we tgt with her family went tuh compass point. wen there tuh shop for their things. went back tuh Fenny's house to eat dinner , then me , Jonas and Baby cabbed back home at 12plus midnight. Baby paid th cab fares for us. Thanks Baby ! im sorry tuh make you spend so much money on me. D: $23+ derhs cab fare lehs ! wth. so ex luhs. lucky have my Baby with me. then Baby sent me back tuh my house , she waited for me at my hosue outside while i went in tuh put my things and all. after that , pei Baby go 7-11 buy drinks. ^^ then she walked me back home. so swt of her rights? LOL. But th sad thing is that , Baby is just NOT Her. T.T then Kevin came tuh send her back home lerhs luhs. while i went up tuh bath and slp liaos.

Tuesday,
went tuh work at 12 till 6PM. then went tuh meet Jonas at Parkway, after that , me and Jonas kup cab go down tuh ECP , Xiaoer's chalet. ther got Aubrey , Meibao , Winnie , Sher , Kelle , Kelle's Bf , and th rest idk lerhs. then went there tuh toktok , slack slack , and me and Baby quarrelled again. Zzz. my prepay low lerhs then her fren still playplay with me on th phone. wth, macde me very Dulan siahs. then i sent her very harsh msg, th way i tok tuh her also like shit. after that , th later part , then get tuh noe that she went tuh ECP cos she wanna give me a surprise. & th quarrel starts with some misunderstanding. so i asked her tuh reach home lerhs then call me , i wanna slear things up with her. then i went back tuh th fun at th chalet. actually , th chalet quite sian lahs. beside toking , nth i could do lerhs. thats why didnt ton today at th chalet. reached home and bath , and at th same time when i was bathing , i was toking tuh Baby on th phone. i on loudspeak & tok tuh her derhs. style hor? hahahahs. then now just put down th phone with her niahs.

went tuh see her blog, and realised how afraid is she tuh lose Him, how important He is in Her life, how much She treasure Him , how caring is She towards Him , how He brighten up Her day with ramdomness and a simple msg like "guai <3" color="#6600cc">last but not least , Ta you duo zai hu Ta. i cant deny that , as i read through her blog , my heart is breaking , and i felt like tearing , i just dont noe what exactly im thinking, and i just hate tht feeling. How can He do that???? i just wanna noe HOW ! i really dont noe this kinda Her who is so nice and good towards him , cos i have NEVER seen her like this tuh me before. NEVER ! hen sad horhs? sighs. Just too bad i'm not Him , and Baby's not Her. its all just too bad. have been thinking of her , even when im with Baby ytd. walked passed mini toons and saw Pooh bear , and i tot of her again. Fenny's mom wore Pooh bear derhs shirt ytd, and becos of that , i became very friendly tuh her mom , and even took a pic of her mom's shirt. shall post it up later. LOL. i noe i may seems tuh be CRAZY, but i just cant help it. Call me crazy , call me blind , tuh still be suffering thats stupid after all of these time. Did I lose my love tuh someone better? & does He love You like i do ? you noe i really really do. yes , i've been crying since th day , th day you went away. I noe you love him , I noe , & I wont say anything. I 'll stand there and watch you , watch over you , wherever you are , whatever you do , and whenever I can.

2009-11-08T01:37:00.004+08:00

Those are th pics that i long time wanna upload lerhs. hahas. these pics got MEMORIES WANT OKAYS ??? sighs. I MISS HER.

2009-11-08T00:09:00.002+08:00

Friday,
after sch , met Baby at Bedok inter. then Baby pei me go Aljunied mrt tuh meet Jonas. then we 3 trained down tuh Bukit Panjang tuh find Sher. me and Jonas both also pass by place where had alot of memories. and so we both also emo. D: really can feel th heart pain & xin suan derhs feeling. sighs. first when reached Keat Hong , Jonas emotional start. then followed by Phoenix, my turn came. sighs. that kinda heartpain derhs feeling came back , and it hit me real hard. th LRT passed by th coffeeshop where me and Her went for breakfast that day D: wahs , really felt like crying , but held back my tears. Baby was beside me , & i dont wanna show out my TRUE feelings at that point of time. its unfair tuh her. though i cant say i love her , but i still got heart wan okays. then me , Baby , Jonas and Sher went tuh eat Mac. then tgt pei Sher go her there derhs tua. had spooky encounter. then slacked and tok nonsense at th staircase there. i fell down in th drain Dx now my knee got one huge lump liaos. T.T pain siahs. then me , Jonas and i pei Baby cab tuh town tuh meet up with Baby's fren and tuh buy her things. then we went tuh eat at BK. ate fries niahs. :D after that , Baby's fren sent me & Jonas back home, then sent Baby home. thanks for th ride uhs? :D
reached home bath , then went tuh slp liaos. Zzz.

Today ,
woke up at 11plus AM. had a quarrel with Baby early in th morning. long story lahs. but very lame shit derhs. actually Baby say wanna meet me today for movie , then ended up morning tell me that she dont wanna come meet me lerhs. wth rights? then forget it , i went tuh meet Jonas at Bugis tuh carry out OUR brother shopping spree.told Jonas abt me and Baby derhs quarrel. then she help me call Baby , ask her come Bugis find us.after tat , pei Jonas go Pastamania eat , then we go start out shopping spree lerhs. hahas. she bought polo and formals , berms. and so did i. spent over $90 at Bugis Str. bought 1 longsleeve formal , 2 berms , and 1 Polo Tee. wahs , broke lerhs lahs. still need tuh go alter my berms. cost a bomb mans Dx saw Ahmin when was at Bugis Str. then talked tuh her, &exchanged num. bought th formal from her shop , U.P $40 . then Ahmin help me press until $36.
Thanks yeahs? hope tuh meet you soon :D
then Baby came tuh meet us at Illuma at 3plus. then we went tuh Illuma derhs Asian Kitchen tuh eat. me and Baby eat fried rice. Baby treat me eat :D so nice of her rights? hahahas. she is th only girl who treat me this and that derhs. hahas. felt so pampered by her. enjoy that kinda feeling , but why is she not Her? 2 words tuh describe , IF ONLY~then Jyuan came tuh join us. hahas. so while waiting for Jyuan tuh finish eating , Baby ordered desserts tuh eat. Mango sago-This Dessert Brings Me Back Tuh That Couple Date With Her. D: Baby feed me eat, hahas. she so pamper me derhs luhs , LOL. she is like th bung , and im th girl. hahahas. she even help me tuh wipe my fingers and mouth after eating. sweet rights? hahas. then after that , Baby went tuh OG , Jonas and Jyuan went tuh find Sher , and me , being th pathetic one , trained back tuh Tam tuh work alone. Shags. worked till 10plus as usual , then went home lerhs. then here i am, blogging. Baby is now at Pasir Ris, her frens' BBQ. i havent bath yet , gonna bath soon. shall end here , with alot of misses for Her.

i read your blog, and He seems tuh be very important in your life , so important that you were afraid that He might be angry with you , and all. can tell that ni hen ting ta derhs hua. & He can take better control of you. perhaps , He can take really good care of you bahs, better than i could. Perhaps , He is th one who can really bring you TRUE happiness tuh your life bahs. But also , I really wanna see , how long will this last , how long will His love for you be , how long will He treat you gd ? lets just see how long bahs. IF , He can love you more and longer than i do , treat you gd longer than i did, and IF His love for you can last longer than mine, i have nth tuh say. and i will just be happy for you. but pls girl , dont say He is better than me , cos i have once love and pampered you more than he does. i have let you go , and im still struggling tuh forget you , & you noe girl , how much my heart hurts.

2009-11-06T10:01:00.002+08:00

Wednesday,
dint go tuh sch. went tuh see doc & got myself a MC :D then went tuh work at 6PM till 10PM. went home after that. toked tuh Sher and Jonas on th phone till 2plus AM. then went tuh slp lerhs. LOL.

Thurs,
went tuh sch. then after sch , went tuh meet Sher and Jonas at Eunos MRT platform. then tgt trained down tuh Lavender tuh find Baby at ICA building , Baby went there tuh make new passport. then me , Baby , Sher and Jonas trained down tuh Tiong Bahru tuh eat. ate SUBWAY. then saw my DIDI GOWRI. then she pei us go buy present , for PohYing. me and Sher kup th present. then we trained back. Baby pei train tuh Bedok :D then i go home & bath lerhs , jiu go work liaos. was damn late for work. reached there at abt 7PM when i was actually working at 6PM ! 1 hour LATE lehs ! sry guys. was doing cakes station ytd , my first time doing cakes, so was kinda NOOB lahs. then end work at 10 , then pei my colleagues go TM mac eat. :D after that , went home and bath , jiu slp liaos. Zzz.

Today ,
is th LAST DAY of SCHOOL ! hooRAY! hahahahahahas ! HAPPY MANS ! quick , CONGRAT ME ! ^^ BHB* LOL. was damn LATE for sch. reached sch at abt 930AM. hahahas. not that i late wake up , but becos i met my classmates , Merlene , KaiQin , & Andy for breakfast. LOL. took 3 buses then reach my destination. it wasnt far, but was my FIRST TIME going that place , cos Merlene stay near there. then when i reach lerhs , they finished eating liaos. never wait for me ! hahahas. then they all see me eat. LOL. so embarassing. LOL. then went tuh sch. so now , im at sch lerhs luhs , using my tcher Miss Hidayah derhs com tuh update my precious BLOG ^^ hahahas. later im meeting Jonas :D think she will be coming tuh my sch outside tuh fetch me later bahs. hahahahs. then we later gg tuh Bukit Panjang tuh find Sher :D yahs , then at night working at 6 PM again. hahahahas. tmr i gg tuh Bugis tuh buy my clothes. Hahahahahas. okays lahs , i shall blog off lerhs. my tcher waiting for me tuh finish using her com. hahahas. take care peeps.

Just wish that He is th one who will take care of your heart. but , i still miss you so. some words are better left UNSAID. you will never noe how i feel and have been thinking all along , cos i never choose tuh show. i still love you so.

2009-11-03T23:39:00.003+08:00

Today ,
Went tuh sch as usual. sch ends at 12.30PM. early rights? LOL. then after that i went tuh see my principal , he wants tuh see me abt my result. then after that, Serina told me that she was outside my sch waiting for me tuh come out lerhs. wahs. step touching siahs. LOL. then we bused tuh Bedok inter , and she treat me eat Long John. so nice of her uhs? LOL. i wanted tuh pay for myself derhs , but she just paid for me , and i also dont have small note mahs. LOL. so okays luhs. had my lunch with her at Long John luhs. then we bused tuh Bugis tuh meet her fren. then pei her fren shop shop awhile , then i go meet Vanessa at th Burger King there. she inside and outside really very diff siahs. she outside more cute and better looking. hahahas. toked cock with her , while waiting for Serina & her frens tuh finish their shopping. then Serina came tuh find me , tgt with Vanessa they all. then we go Illuma walk walk. after that , Serina then send me tuh th bus stop tuh take bus home. LOL. can say me and her derhs status now is attached lerhs bahs. LOL. idk also lahs. i just noe that she treat me very gd , compared tuh how Cindy treated me. maybe she is th girl tuh payback whatever i have lost tuh Cindy bahs? after that , reached home at abt 6plus PM. then went tuh eat at my house there derhs coffeeshop with my dad. then go home lerhs luhs.

i read her blog , and found out that she is getting on better than i thought she would be getting on. she has been mixing ard with her TRUE frens. lets just see how long all these would last bahs. i also noticed that there is a new character appear in her life lerhs, and she seems tuh treat him v gd , better than how she treated me bahs. that guy said that he would treat her better , but i dont tink he can treat her as gd as i can bahs. i would be happy for her , if she has found someone better. but if she has not , and still tink that she has , i would probably be just laughing my ass out at her. today i went tuh Illuma , bugis str , and all. wherever i went , it bring me back tuh those memories that me and her shared in th past. i treasure those memories , and how much i wish that i could go back tuh th time when she loved me. i noe for sure , its IMPOSSIBLE. & i dont tink she even treat those memories as memories luhs. perhaps she just treat all those as a junk of craps bahs. saddening, but i will be strong and move on , as how she had do it.

2009-11-02T21:49:00.002+08:00

Today ,
woke up at 8+. then went tuh bath then go sch lerhs. was very late cans. reached sch at 10AM =.= then sch ends at 2 plus. then bused tuh bedok inter tuh meet Jonas. tgt we bused tuh Changi Airport T3 derhs Hongkong cafe tuh eat. wahs , th food there so ex and so ordinary luhs. NOT WORTH IT ! really. then meet Clara and Xiwen they all , then tgt go tam. cos gotta collect my pay. then collected my pay lerhs, jiu went tuh Carls Jr tuh slack. bought a drink and sit down there tok. then we went tuh buy ice cream , th one that i bought when i was with Cindy. sighs. after that , we went tuh TM derhs mac eat fries :D then went tuh deposit money, jiu bused home lerhs. reached home at 9plus PM. bath , jiu go slp liaos. Zzz.

i've been thinking , how have she been doing , have she gotten herself a job , how she can survive , and all. i miss her , i admit i do, seriously. but i just gonna move on , & get this over. its not easy , i must say. but i not i just gotta do it. i've been thinking of her , all along. but i noe , i cant be xin luan , and i noe i WONT. i've GIVEN UP , but have NOT FORGET her. i still love her , but i noe its impossible. If only she will change , and be compassionate abit , treat me like how Jolene did. i tink , all these just wont happen. but i noe , she never & will never change. its just all too bad , i noe. sighs. Girl , i still miss you so. i really do. really hope you will noe how tuh tink , and noe how tuh take care of yourself.

2009-11-01T20:11:00.003+08:00

Thurs ,
dint go sch. planned tuh see doc, but i overslept. slept till 11plus. then went tuh eat and went tuh work at 3PM tuh 10PM. aft work , lepak with my colleagues at mac for awhile , then go home lerhs. reached home at abt 12midnight, then talked tuh Cindy , Sher , Jonas , Aubrey , Sarah , on th phone. toked abt alot of things , craps lahs. but managed tuh clear certain things up. talked till 3AM, then went tuh bath and slp lerhs :D

Friday ,
again dint go tuh sch. went tuh work at 5PM , till 10PM. then lepak with my colleagues at Tam Mrt there. Nikki sat on my leg , whoa , heavy jack ! then tok cock and make dirty jokes. went home at 12midnight. msgmsg Jolene till 12+AM , then went tuh slp lerhs. me and her suddenly mdg till like couple like that. hahahas. gatal back luhs. hahahahas. im not trying tuh play her heart ahs , just that im too tired tuh love and scared of hurts lerhs. DOORS OF MY HEART ARE CLOSED AT TH MOMENT :) Just wanna get Her bloody off my mind , & change my attention tuh th new Jolene. :D too bad , she's straight. nvm , slowly. LOL. hahahahas. aiyah , i also dont mind if i get or never get Jolene derhs , cos get or not , it wont hurt me a cell. EMERSON DOESN'T LIVE OFF WOMEN , RMB??? :DDD

Sat ,
woke up at 10am. then went tuh bath then went tuh work lerhs. worked at 12noon, all th way till 10PM closing. wahs , 10 hours siahs , pengsan ahs. but work made me not think of anything that i dont wanna think. :D then Teresa sent me tuh take bus :D
Thanks girl :D I wont leak your secrets out derhs , you also dont leak mine yeahs? :D
then reached home at 12midnight , then went tuh bath and toked tuh Jiayuan on th phone.
Jiayuan , thanks for listening tuh me nag wor. APPRECIATED :D
went tuh slp aft that.

Today ,
woke up at 9plus AM. then went tuh buy b'fast for my family. then eat b'fast lerhs , then go bath lerhs , jiu go meet Jolene at Tam inter derhs Mac. :D we work at th same time mahs. 12-6PM :D then after work, treat her tuh dinner:D hahahas. wanted tuh treat her drinks also derhs , but she is just so stubborn , fight with me tuh pay money. LOL? hahas. cute lahs she. LOL. but again , she is STRAIGHT. sians. Zzz. then after dinner , sent her until her house derhs lift there, then i go home lerhs. hahas. she keep say go out with me she very shy? LOL. but she is straight lehs. aiyahs , idk lehs. no reason for her tuh be shy also luhs. WTH =.= then now im at lan shop updating my rotting blog. hahahahas. tmr gg tuh sch. sianns.

Idk why , when im with Jolene , i tend tuh have th intentions tuh treat her like how i treated Cindy. Pamper her , pay everything for her , and treat her like how i treated Cindy. maybe , this has been a habit lerhs bahs, just that now im taking Jolene as a substitute for Cindy? maybe bahs , idk lahs. i cant say that i fall for Jolene , th fact is , i didnt. is just that , im trying tuh gatalgatal with her bahs i guess? becos , even though she told me that she is straight and wont be crook , i just sians diao , im not even sad or brooding over it. & i noe , th doors of my heart is no longer opened, becos someone had killed it totally. i admit , i still love her , but i also must say , that i WONT xin luan anymore. NOT ANYMORE ! & i noe , im gonna make her see that im not someone for her tuh make use of anymore , im NOT like th last time me lerhs , last time derhs foolish me. now derhs me , im a very hard-hearted & jue qing towards her. i can bear tuh do anything now , trust me. try me if you want.

2009-10-28T13:53:00.003+08:00

Tuesday,
dint go tuh sch. woke up at 11plus bahs. then went tuh meet Sher & Jonas at 2plus at Eunos mrt. then we went tuh Tampines One , my workplace tuh eat cakes. ^^ ate th marble cheesecake. nice lahs. alot of cheese. hahahahas. then ate th ice cream :D yummy. after that we went tuh shop for Bday presents for Aephix and Xiwen. then went tuh find Jo , Chris , they all at Tam mrt. then went tuh slack at starbucks there while waiting for katherine tuh come. after that ,slacked till 630 PM then Sher , me and Jonas gotta go off first lerhs , cos we have tuh rush down tuh ECP for both Aephix and Xiwen derhs bday. saw my bear and we hugged. love her mans. LOL. then stay at her pit for awhile , then meibao and xiaoru came. then tgt slack and toktok luhs. after that , we went tuh Xiwen pit. went there tuh eat , and toktok abt ... someone. LOL. then Sher tok abt me and my ex derhs WONDERFUL LIFE, and fuck , made me so paiseh ! infront of so many ppl lehs. cos at that point of time , got me , Jiayuan , Geraldine , Jonas , Meibao , Xiaoru , & Sher mahs. so paiseh luhs.
Sher , you lucky i never say abt you and Ray derhs thing hor ! better dont give me th chance tuh mans. i wil make sure you regret derhs ! heh heh heh. LOL. but , must really thank you. for making me strong and back tuh my usual strong self. i wont let you disappointed derhs. this time , i mean what i say, and i wont just say , i will DO IT ! wo bu hui zai xin ruan lerhs. NEVER !
then we went back home at 8plus. so tired mans. so many ppl derhs bday. then went home tuh eat lerhs , jiu go bath then tok tuh Sher on th phone till 12+ midnight. hahahahah. msg cindy & asked her for th $2 back in 3 days. hahahas. then this and that lahs, nonsense lahs. LOL. then went tuh slp at 1plus , after msging Jean. Hahahas.

Today ,
went tuh sch as usual. then ended sch at 1245PM. hahas. throughout my maths class, i havent been listening , just slacking with my classmates & tok cock. then msgmsg with Jean also. sent her a very longggg and clearrrr msg. if not she may mistaken me further. LOL. she tot i couldnt let go of Cindy. LOL? what a joke ! and she say i went ard telling ppl that Cindy hurt me. LOL. my choice what , and what i told ppl are REAL FACTS that happened. i dare tuh tell ppl , i dare tuh let ppl noe is i say want. why? any prob , call me straight. i will play along , whoever and whatever you are. sry tuh say , im now someone who wont heartsoft anymore and i mean it. try me , test me , UP TO YOU ! :DDDDD after sch , went tuh lan shop and now , im in th lan shop. sians. Zzz. later still need tuh go work. LOL. take care peeps.

**i dont need tuh hear any shit of why you treated me bad , or whether you cry or not , or why you cry , why you stress , cos tuh me now, it DOESNT MATTER ! and im th least bothered also. not interested tuh noe th reason why and all. so , dont bother tuh tell me yeahs? dont bother. dont bother tuh tell me all those thing that you noe i dont wish tuh noe. hope im being clear enough right here and right now. take care. **

2009-10-26T18:44:00.002+08:00

Sat ,
Worked till 10plus. then went tuh eat at Tam with 6 of my colleagues; Nikie , Anna , Aqiem , Zana , Shikin and Matthew. All malay except for me and Matthew. hahas. aft that , we walked tuh 201 tehre derhs mac , cos Nikie wanna eat mac. eat & eat & eat only. Dots. LOL.but i never eat lahs. then Anna feed me with fries, so i eat luhs. so sweet of her hor? LOL. then aft that my mom came tuh fetch me at abt 2am. she KP me again. sians Zzz~ go home and bath lerhs , jiu slp lerhs luhs.

Sun ,
KQ dint come out. called her mom , and her mom told me that she cant make it tuh bring her out for her HL. SIAN ~ then went tuh AMK HUB and eat Mac. wahs , eat till very full siahs. LOL. then aft that , went tuh SGH and sent Shi Luan back in. :D aft that , went tuh find Jonas and Cindy at Jonas house. then , we went tuh buy Carlsberg. Jonas bought 4 cans + 1 Vodka , while me , i bought 6 cans of Carlsberg. :DD then we drank at her house nearby luhs. Cindy never drink , so she was th most sober one down there. LOL. my kick came at th 4th can. then i went tuh buy another 4 cans , 2 for Jonas , 2 for myself. i cant really rmb everything i did , but abit here and there bahs. i noe , that i cried until very jialat, that i told Cindy smth abt 1 night stand ( cant really recall lerhs ) , i played with th water , & i knocked down one of th beer cans , i cut my hand ( dont noe from where ) and i lied down flat there. th rest i dont really rmb lerhs. then Jonas wake me up , and asked me tuh go home. then i walk tuh th bus stop, but otw tuh th bus stop , i merlion until very jialat , kena my jeans also. =.= then reached th bus stop , i took pic of my dirtied jeans. LOL! took th bus 14 home. then i overslept in th bus till interchange. reached bedok inter lerhs , i took 17 back and again , i overslept till tam there. Zzz. too seh and drunk lerhs. This time , i admit , i was really really really very seh. in my whole life time , i have never been this seh before. ytd was my FIRST & i hope will be th ONLY time bahs. then reached tam lerhs, i took cab home lerhs luhs. no strength tuh take bus lerhs. reached home at abt 12+ AM , then went tuh wash up my jeans , and bath lerhs , jiu K.O TOTALLY lerhs.

Ytd , i was very very very depressed , and i needed someone there for me , need someone there tuh take care of me , tuh wipe away my tears, tuh care abt me , BUT , where were you??? you were infront of me , witnessing my nonsense , watching me cry , seeing me doing everything. yeahs , you are just there tuh SEE ONLY. i showed you my weakest side , when i was in th process of FA JIU FENG. but all you did was , SEE ! whenever you were on your darkest times , i always try my best tuh be there for you , tuh take care of you , tuh help you , etc. but when i was in that state ytd , even if its inconvenient for you tuh send me home , you dint even bother tuh send me tuh th bus stop. you just see me walk tuh th bus stop ON MY OWN. Jonas was also drunk , so i understand that she cant send me tuh th bus stop. but i believe , i was worst than her ytd. Put as an example lahs ok, IF , jonas was in my state ytd , what would you do? i guess you would be very DIFFERENT towards her bahs. im sure you WONT sit there and do nothing like how you did ytd. i can rmb that i went after you , but you just ran away from me , & you pushed me away. you are so cruel, really very cruel. i was in that state and you still can push me away? yeahs , i noe , my actions ytd may scare & freak you out ytd , but you gotta noe , i was drunk , very very drunk. i guess you can tell that also. where have all your feelings gone tuh? idk , and i have been wanting tuh noe. you noe , ytd when i was in th cab home , i told th driver that im sry becos i drank alot , and vomited thats why im so smelly. then you noe what he asked me? " then why your frens dint send you home lehs? " and i went , silent. i also dont noe lehs. when i was at my lowest time of life, no one was with me, no one stand by me. i was , ALL ALONE, and no one even care abt me. NOT EVEN YOU ! even just as a fren , you WEREN'T there. so what am i tuh you ? worst than a fren? haish. really very disappointed. very very disappointed. T.T you can be so caring towards Jonas , and all , when you just noe her for less than 2 months , but towards me , you are just so COLD , and heartless. im utterly disappointed. seriously , i am.

Today ,
went tuh sch at per normal. but th hangover was very jialat. had headache and body ache. very tired and sleepy in class. sch ended at 1245 PM , then went tuh Parkway tuh meet Jonas and Cindy , again. Jonas was very sad , i can see. tried tuh cheer her up lerhs , but i tink , there is nth i can do. me and her seemed tuh drift away lerhs. D: haish, what can i say? COMPLICATED. then we went tuh foodcourt eat , i alone eat. ate chicken rice :D then we went walkwalk ard PP. Cindy had no cash with her , so i lent her $2 tuh buy drink. actually , i dont expect her tuh return me that $2 lahs. its okay derhs lahs. if i really so stingy , i wouldnt have spent so much money on her lerhs. so this $2 is okay derhs lahs. went home at 4plusPM. then went tuh eat with my Dad. he asked me tuh help him drink finish his remaining Carlsberg. shocked tuh hear that. then i drink luhs , left abt half bottle only mahs. but drink till very bloated lerhs. feel like vomiting again. i tink th hangover is still there , i still feel abit FAN WEI. then now im here lerhs. blogging everything i feel now. gtg lerhs. take care peeps.

Today i met her , and i tried tuh put up a strong front in front of her. i acted as if nothing happened. abit awkward also lahs. LOL. I tried tuh be strong , but you just made me weak inside. Today i see you so caring towards "him" , trying tuh cheer "him" up , take care of "him" , & think for "him", i cant deny , i felt one kind. i just dint like it. i noe "he" is your fren , who you treasure , but who am i tuh you , compared tuh "him"? worst than a fren bahs i guess. i just felt so heartpain & disappointed. maybe , you are trying tuh be cruel tuh me , tuh make me hate you , so that i wont have tuh suffer like how i am now. but , all along , you have been treating me this way. just that i dint say out. just what is happening.

~Ni zhen me neng zhe me ren xin kan wo liu lei , que yi dian dou bu zai hu? Ni zhen me she de wo nan guo , zai wo zui xu yao ni derhs shi hou, ni que mei you shuo yi ju hua jiu zhou. wo wei ni fu chu lerhs zhe me duo , ni que mei you gan dong guo. ~
WHY HAVE YOU BEEN SO CRUEL???!!!

2009-10-24T12:47:00.003+08:00

Thurs ,
Dint go tuh sch. went tuh see doc, & found out smth that is expected. Doc say that i have chest infection. but normally chest infection wont make me feel breathless and have cold sweat derhs. so not cfm yet. must go and take x-ray again tuh check out my chest. scary siahs. haish. th doc derhs words just kept on ringing in my mind. D: haish. whats happening? i really wan tuh noe whats wrong with my body. just whats wrong ?!?! but at th same time , im afraid tuh noe too. DD: idk lahs , i just feel so... outcast? haish. maybe , i really am bahs. chatted wit jonas & wyn till 12plus midnight , then went tuh slp lerhs.

Friday ,
woke up at 6AM. then call jonas but she never pick up. then went tuh bath , and left house at 6+. bused tuh jonas house , becos she never pick up my call, so i wanted tuh go her house and wake her up. knocked her hse door till very loud & shouted for her, but she just cant hear. instead , her neighbour came out and see what happen. LOL? so angrily , i left her house. then bused tuh Lavender , ALONE ! trained down tuh Cck tuh find wyn , ALONE again ! bought rice tuh wyn house and eat. then left wyn house at abt 10+ AM. trained and bused down tuh marine parade tuh find Jo & Chris. pei them go play bball till 4PM, then bused back home tuh bath.then , rushed tuh work lerhs. ended work at 10plusPM , gg tuh 11PM. slack with my colleague , Anna , at Tam Mall. talked , slacked , drink. me and her suddenly become very close. LOL. she told me abt her ex bung who hurt her , while i told her abt mine. some kinda relating my probs tuh her bahs , and vice versa. idk why , me and her just can get along so fast. LOL. next time shall take pic with her and post here bahs. :DD Anna drank till she was quite MABOK . then i cabbed home with her luhs. reached her house there abt 12+midnight lerhs. then i sent her tuh her house derhs lift. cos so late lerhs , then she alone girl , some more so MABOK , so better make sure that she reach home safely :D
Eh babi , kau ni weak ah. sikit2 pon mabok. Lol. luckily i not pervert or sakit kuat , if not i rape you already siahs. LOL. your pantat so flat , see also sian ahs ! HAHAHA ! jking lahs. :D
then frm her house , i slowly walk home luhs. reached home at ant 1230AM. then went tuh bath & Zzz. :D

Today ,
Woke up at 10 plusAM. overslept lerhs , actually today need tuh report back tuh sch derhs, but i overslept , so dint go. ate breakfast & here i am. later gonna go work again at 2PM lerhs. im running out of time liaos. so , shall blog off now lerhs. take care peeps.

2009-10-21T19:39:00.002+08:00

Sunday ,

met Cindy at phoenix mrt station. then we went tuh jurong point tuh buy her things. wth , she see 1 shop then go in see. wahs , you noe jurong point how many shops mahs? imagine how many shops i have tuh go in? Zzz lo. then i gollow her go Pepper Lunch eat. then went tuh buy subway for ahwyn & jonas , jiu head tuh meet them lerhs. then we slacked at wyn house , till 3plusPM then i head back home lerhs. reached home at abt 5 plus. then went tuh change lerhs , jiu rushed down tuh work lerhs. worked till 10plus PM , then pei my colleague ShaSha slack at tam. she wanna wait for her fren tuh come and fetch her. so i pei her till 12midnight , then i rush for my last bus home lerhs. reached home at abt 12plus luhs. TIRED !!! then went tuh bath then slp lerhs.

Monday ,

went tuh meet jonas at aljunied mrt platform at 7plus. then tgt we trained down tuh ahwyn's house. then we slacked , & they do whatever they wanted , romance and all. hahahah ! while i at there be gooseberry. LOL ! Sorry wor ! xD then slacked and talked tuh wyn's mom till 3plus . then me and Cindy trained down tuh Lot One walk walk. then went tuh her grandpa house sitsit awhile jiu go home lerhs. reached home at abt 6plus. then pei my dad sitsit at th coffeeshop till 8plus jiu go back lerhs. bathed lerhs , toked tuh Cindy on th phone. wahs , i very sot her siahs. WTH =.= nvm , shan't say much at here. just very sot , yes very very sot ! Dx rang wo kong huan xi yi chang )): then slept at 11plus PM. wahs , really very very very very very tired luhs !!! arghs ~!
~out of a sudden , i just found her so hong. haish. ~

Tuesday ,

woke up at 6:21AM. then still have tuh wait for my bro tuh finish bathing , then can bath. so too late lerhs , i dint go sch. hahahahas. went back tuh slp :D Zzz~ then woke up again at 12noon. hahas. still tired though =X then ate mom cook derhs porridge :D bath & went tuh bedok inter tuh buy smth , then back home again. after that , trained down tuh CCK ALONE ! wahs , how sian lahs ! went tuh Cindy house sitsit awhile , then we tgt go Lot One , AGAIN ! Zzz. Cindy wanna buy her things. then we trained down tuh wyn house. slacked at wyn house while Cindy was dyeing her UNSUCCESSFUL hair. LOL! Lousy siahs. Hahahahhahas. Useless$20 hair dye dint eat in her hair. LOL. Jonas helped her cye. so gd hor. what a nice Buatoh i have. Very sot her lahs actually , but we talked things out lerhs , so now okays lerhs. :)))

Buatoh , i hope you will think over what i have said , & if my words have been a little too harsh , i'm Sorry. cos i was really very angry. anw , paiseh lahs.

Then me and Cindy left wyn hse at 8plus. Cindy trained home & so did i. reached home at 9plusPM. mom came back and me and my mom had a BIGBIG fight , ever ! shit derhs luhs. she kp nevermind lehs , still wanna use violence on me siahs ! wth ! damn fucking angry and shouted at her. but i never hit back lahs. just had struggle with her , and was quite violent towards her back. ended up , my face , gone case. dont noe why , or when , my face got her fingernail scratched derhs scar. WTH ! face lehs ! wahs , sot siahs. this morning then realise derhs. so went tuh put on a plaster luhs. hopefully by tmr can go off bahs. haish. then after th LONG and HUGE fight , we both ended up in tears. =.= then bath and slp lerhs. too tired tuh carry on.

Today ,

woke up at 6AM , as per normal. bathed and trained down tuh find Cindy at Cck. then went tuh her house there derhs coffeeshop eat prata with her, as our breakfast. Hahas:D then went ard her neighbourhood tuh slack , so sian lahs cans ! wth. went tuh slack at th playgrd and played swing. hahahahas ! childish rights? not me, its her intention ! xP then went tuh her hse downstairs and slack again. well , time with her just passed so fast ! then she went up tuh change , and i was left alone there. so sians , then i vandalised th wall , and th chair. hahahs ! just being bored out of a sudden. hahahahas. then she came down , changed and ready tuh go and fetch her cousin from sch. so we walked and bused down tuh Unity Sec tuh wait for her cousin. then tgt me , Cindy and her cousin bused down tuh her cousin hse. th 3 of us , went in her cousin rm. and she and her cousin was busy playing com , while , me , doing nth , just lying down there and watch them play luhs. siansss ~ then head back home at abt 4plus. When i was climbing up th stairs tuh take LRT back tuh CCK mrt , i suddenly felt so breathless, and was panting , worst than how a dog pant. coughing like hell , was having alot of cold sweat, sweat till my whole shirt also wet wet derhs.. and just , idk , but i noe there is a big prob with my body, my lungs. then a aunt saw me coughing till so jialat and so out of breathe , she kept looking at me , scared i would faint? LOL. i so strong , wont faint derhs lahs. reached home at 6plus and chatted with Cindy online. webcam somemore ! hahahahas. well , finally , i told her what i always wanted tuh tell her. but not everything lahs. basically just those things that came tuh my mind at that point of time.

basically , today i was just like Coughing and Coughing and Coughing , Breathless & Breathless & Breathless. i noe for sure , there is a serious prob with my heart , body , or lungs? either one or smth like that. that time derhs heart test result , i still haven go back tuh my doctor there and ask. dont dare tuh ask too. suddenly i just felt so scared , really very scared. but i noe , tmr , i will and have tuh go back tuh see th doctor again. hopefully nothing goes wrong bahs. suddenly , everything is just so scary. im afraid , for once , im afraid... really very afraid that , i cant take care of her anymore, cant see her anymore. i really really dont wan this tuh happen. i dont want ! i dont want tuh leave her, i noe she needed someone. Pls , i really hope tmr everything will be fine. haish.

Today i met her , in fact spent th whole day with her. & i noe for sure , that i still love her. at times i just wished that she would be th last time SWEET her , that she claimed that she used tuh be. maybe , if i have known th last time SWEET her , i wouldnt have suffered from all those hurts that i have been suffering all along bahs. i just hate it , th fact that i have fallen for now derhs her , a BIAO MIAN SHANG so COLD and CRUEL derhs Cindy. haish. How i wished , that i could fell th sweetness that i have longed tuh fell all along. haish. but just too bad , she isn't th sweet her that she was anymore. For now , i just hope that if ever , i cant be there tuh take care of her anymore , she will learn tuh be more independent , more self-loved , more wise in spending money , & open up her big eyes and see who is th TRUE ONES who treat her good , GENUINELY. i dont wanna say much , or judge anything, just hope that she could see for herself. Girl , you must be strong , and take care of yourself okays? I always love you , and I will always do. Bear that in mind. EmersonRisse ,, 090908 ,, i'm still counting on th days when ILOVEYOU.

2009-10-17T14:32:00.002+08:00

Ytd ,

woke up at 12plus noon. den eat my late breakfast cum early lunch. went tuh bath lerhs jiu go work lerhs. Dint go tuh sch. hahahas. worked at 3Pm. Jo and Chris came tuh find me at my restaurant. hahas. so nice of them rights? thanks arhs ! and sry for not being able tuh really tok tuh you all. was very busy ytd, & was caught by my manager in th toilet while waiting for you all tuh come. so bobian. hope you understand yeahs? :DD ytd we have a new crew. her name is Jovie. She said that she noe me but i forgot who is she lerhs. but she noe my junyuan frens lehs. She and me suddenly became quite close at work. But she worked till 6pm only, but after she end work , she changed her status tuh customer and dined in , tgt with my junyuan fren and 2 other bungs. and i served them , then they kept disturbing me. wth =.= so i entertained them luhs. hahahas. ytd business was very good. & i work till i dont even have th time tuh drink water. so tiring mans ! so many customer! wahs , jialat siahs. & those customers came in groups derhs lehs. scary luhs. work till wanna go crazy. but fun lahs , cos ytd derhs manager is fun, and so are my beloved colleagues. Thanks for th day guys ! happy working with you guys :DD then got one of my female customer, damn HOT siahs ! wahs , really , her figure really... idk what tuh say lahs. just very HOT ! Hahahahahahs ! I'm not gatal ahs , give which bung , also wil see derhs luhs. unless that bung no sex drive lahs. hahahahahas. worked till 10PM. then walked very far with my colleague Germaine tuh a bus stop tuh take bus home. she took th same bus with me, cos she stay very near me mahs. then i sent her home luhs , very late lerhs mahs. so i pei her luhs. gentleman right me? hahahas. otw home , on th bus , we had a very long chat. i told her abt my love life and all , & she gave me alot of advices. thanks yeahs? can say that what she said make sense lahs , and sounded very mature like that. hahahahhas. reached home at abt 11plus. then toked tuh ahyun and cindy on th phone. then went tuh bath jiu slp lerhs luhs.

Today ,

woke up at 10plusAM. then ate my breakfast luhs. then did some household chores. hahas. i so guai rights? LOL! dont say i BHB uhs, i noe i am lahs. Lol ! now im going tuh bath then wanna go city hall and meet Jo and Chris lerhs. after that i gonna go work at 6Pm. take care peeps. see you soon. ^^

2009-10-15T16:00:00.009+08:00

YTD ,

sch ended at 2pm. then went home tuh bath lerhs , jiu went tuh meet Cindy at Cck mrt. waited for her for quite long lahs. ard 15 mins like that. Zzz. then walked over tuh meet jonas they all. then me & jonas they all slack slack at th mrt there, while Cindy went home tuh take her bicycle. then after that , we went tuh yewtee mrt tuh meet her , she cycled there. crazy rights? LOL. then from yewtee mrt , we walked tuh Cindy erjiu house. then we went tuh th gym and did some workout. Cindy, being th most crazy one , ran like one mad dog like that. WTH ~ siao derhs lahs she. upset jiu dui her own body chu qi ! i pity her body siahs , esp her legs , for nothing kena tortured by that madwoman , CINDY YAP QIN HAN ! while me , being th most obssessive one over muscles building , went tuh carry 7.5KG derhs dumb bell. & worked out for abt 1 hour or so bahs. & now , my muscle is like so damn pain lahs cans. but can see th diff lehs , my muscle got grow abit bigger than last time lerhs. :DDD then after gym , me , Cindy & jonas they all went tuh th swimming pool there tuh swim. actually i dint wan tuh swim derhs , but upon seeing Cindy swim alone , then i went down tuh join her luhs. hahas. tell you lerhs, i treat friends very good also derhs okays. hahas. dont say i BHB lahs. hahas. then we swim until shiok2 lerhs , th security guard came and asked us tuh get out of th pool cos we were wearing T-shirts. hahas ! then me and Cindy went tuh bath lerhs , then we setted off lerhs luhs. me and jonas trained home at abt 10 plus PM. and i reached home at 11plus gg tuh 12 midnight lerhs. then went tuh bath again jiu go slp lerhs. Zzz ~ tired siahs.

~ Once again we met , & i realised myself that i still feel th same as how i used tuh abt Her. i still care , & worry abt Her. But no matter what , I'm going tuh let Her noe nothing abt it. & i'm just gonna act as if i have moved on , & no longer love Her like how i did. But , I will just be watching over Her , trying my best tuh take care of Her , secretly. ~

Today ,

sch ended at 2.30. my Geog teacher was back tuh teach us lerhs. & she look very pale. her husband passed away recently & we could tell that th demise of her husband had caused her a very Great impact in her life. It breaks my heart tuh see her like this now.

Mrs Siva , I noe you are a strong woman , & i hope you will get over all these soon. Never give up , cos we will never give up on you too. Life is unpredictable , and so do not take things too hard. You just gotta noe that , 3N1 will always be there tuh support you! & we love you so much ! Take care , & dont let us disappointed okays? hope th card i have drawn for you just now will enlighten you in some ways. Your naughty boy , me , love you many many !

then went back home , now im at lan shop. gonna blog off now. cos gg tuh work soon at 6 , so gonna go prepare lerhs. take care everyone , shall update again soon.

2009-10-13T18:25:00.004+08:00

Ytd ,

went tuh play bball with my brother. :D i love bball mans :D played till 10plus PM then headed back home. wahs , it was kinda late lerhs lahs. read Cindy's blog & found out that she was very sad , & heartbroken becos of JH. then an idea popped out in my mind , so i ask jonas & Cindy tuh call in my phone & conference. then we toked alot of thing luhs. Cindy , for th first time , & i hope it will be th only time , cried till so painfully on th phone. hearing her cry , made me wanna cry too. i really hate tuh see her like that. me and jonas tried tuh cheer her up & comfort her , but tuh no avail. she may act as if she is alright lerhs , but i noe , deep inside she is not. sighs. why did all these happen? my heart felt so painful tuh hear her cry , seriously , it hurts. & i never ever wanna see her cry anymore lerhs. NEVER ! wo derhs xin zhen derhs hen tong. but i pressed on. i dint show out , i used anger tuh cover up th pain. i shouted at Her, i scolded her , i toked tuh her in a harsh tone. last night was th first time i ever shout at her. But it was becos i really dont wanna see her like this , i wanna make her wake up.

I'm sorry Girl. you noe i didnt mean tuh shout at you derhs , but becos i care & hate tuh see you like this , i had tuh get you out of these shit that he brought you. I dont wanna ask anything from you , but i have just 1 request ; would you promise me tuh take good care of yourself , be strong & stay happy always , no matter what happen in th future? It hurt me tuh see you cry, frankly it does.

How did He make Her love him till so deep?? Why He can make Her love him till so deep but i couldnt , no matter how hard i used tuh try?? Maybe , I'm indeed a failure, cant even grab hold of Her heart like how He did. He must be feeling proud tuh have made a girl love him so much , But Why did he chose tuh hurt Her again? Why?? what rights does he have tuh hurt her? ta ping she me shang hai ta?

after talking tuh jonas and Cindy , Katherine & Jo called me , & we conferenced. we talked abt Chris derhs thing. & lotsa craps lahs. LOL. So , ended up i slept at 1plus AM last night. Tired mans ~

Today ,

went tuh sch as usual , but was extremely TIRED. slept for th first 1&half hour , then disciplinary teacher caught me & brought me out of my classroom. Zzz~ then i act one i sick , then th teacher let me go home & rest. HAHAHAHAS ! after that , i went tuh canteen tuh eat , ALONE D: left sch at 9AM. LOL ! very early hor? HaHaHas. then bused down tuh Tan Tock Seng there tuh see doc. after that , bused down tuh Bedok polyclinic tuh see another round of doctor. what a DOCTORY day is today luhs. LOL ! waited for my queue for damn fucking longggg ~ =.= had a heart test , &... Idk lahs. Dont wanna say abt it lerhs lahs. well , all these thing are fated. but th annoying part is that during th heart test , i had tuh remove my shirt & everything , then th nurse paste so many stickers with wires connected around my "CHEST" , hands and legs. wth , naked lehs. my camera can zoom in tuh th nurse's pores mans. damn paiseh luhs. Dx after see doctor , went tuh find my dad at th coffeeshop , he ordered KFC ^^ after that , went home lerhs luhs. Sians ~ shall blog off lerhs. take care everyone.

~ 2 days ago , you told me that you love me , but 3 days later , i heard that you still loved him. So who had you exactly love all along? Did You fall in & out of Love so fast & easily? ~

2009-10-12T17:33:00.002+08:00

YTD ,

went back home at 11plus PM. hahas. then went tuh bath lerhs , jiu upload photo then slp lerhs luhs.

Today ,

went tuh find Jonas at her house. she was still slping when i reached her house. Wth ~ Zzz. Ps ahs Buatoh , wake you up early in th morning. hahas. then tell her everything abt me and "her". was kinda emo lahs. after that , wrote a letter tuh Cindy. a pretty long letter , probably th longest one i ever write tuh her ever since i DC bahs. LOL. hmms , wrote everything , my TRUE feelings and thoughts inside th letter. LOL. then Cindy suddenly msg Jonas and say that she read my blog till very DULAN. =.= so Jonas ask me tuh clear things out with her , & she ask her tuh call in. so me and her toked on phone luhs. hahas. but when she first started th conversation , she was like toking tuh me in her a very happy , or rather hyper mode. so , no mood for those unhappy and emo stuffs. LOLS. then from there we carry on with those joking joking derhs stuffs luhs , dint really tok anything out lahs. Laugh Out Loud :D tried my best tuh tok tuh her like toking tuh a normal fren , & it was kind of weird lahs. Maybe i have been just forcing myself tuh tok tuh her like normal fren bahs? but i think that wil be better bahs. HAHAS. tried very hard not tuh mention anything abt me and her derhs past. Cos i dont wanna think abt it lerhs. then she msg me , & her msgs all also got say abt those things. but i tried tuh treat her like joking , so i replied in a joking manner , trying th change th topic. But , She still kept on toking abt it. so , i pekcek , i told her alot of things lahs. LOL. dint wan tuh tok abt it derhs , but she made me so pekcek. She noe abt what me and KQ did on th day i went tuh KQ house there lerhs. So yeahs , like that luhs. toking tuh her , made me recall all those memories back again. haish. actually th past few days i have been having flashbacks & all. & it always hurt me when i think of those memories. made me feel like crying. but i noe i gotta be strong & move on :D actually i've been trying very hard tuh move on lerhs , although i cant say that i now totally no feeling for her lerhs , but , im trying my very best tuh act normal & as if nth happened. got tuh noe that she still love HIM. felt so disappointed at first , & so heartpain. whatever i have done for her , nan dao bi bu shang what JH did for her mehs? I Dont believe that HE love her more than i do luhs, seriously. I dont believe that he can treat Cindy better than i did , & whatever i have done for Cindy , I Dont think he will do it luhs. Cos i believe that i loved Cindy more than he does. He has once hurt Cindy , & im afraid that he would do th same again. hopefully wont bahs. but lets see luhs. Wo na li bi bu shang ta siahs? WTF ~! QI GEK arghs ! nvm , everything btwn me & her also over lerhs , so whoever she choose tuh be with , go ahead luhs. just wish her all th best in everything bahs. wo xiang wo ke yi xi guan yi ge ren shen huo , sui ran wo zhi dao hui hen xin ku , but i noe i can do it. & hopefully i can bahs :D okays lahs , shall end my post here lerhs bahs. take care peepo. ciaos ~

2009-10-12T01:27:00.006+08:00

Pics taken when toning with Chris at my house derhs staircase. Zzz

Pic of me just wake up , then emoemo. LOL.

2009-10-11T16:34:00.003+08:00

im back tuh blog lerhs. ytd night after i blog , kat called me and told me that my brother Chris missed th last bus home lerhs. then she has nowhere tuh go for th night lerhs. so , i ask her tuh ask Chris tuh come my house here , i pei her ton. see i so good rights? hahas. then Chris lost her way on th way tuh my house. so i walked very far just tuh go find her. LOL. very tired siahs. i just finish work very tired lerhs then some more she still make me walk so far tuh find her. she better appreciate mans. hahas.

To Chris : Bro , you dont sad sad lerhs lahs , im sure if you can prove it tuh Jo , she will accpt you one day. Dont Give Up ! :D Jiayou ^^ I support you , but you gotta use your actions tuh prove it tuh her lahs, dont you ever dare hurt her hor , she is my JIE lehs ! xD take care.

then ytd night went tuh fetch her from idk where. then we went tuh 7-11 tuh buy fag. hahas. after that slack at my house there derhs staircase luhs. fag , tok cock , tok on th phone with Jo, messed around and all lahs. LOL. then she half way fall aslp , pangseh me alone there tuh entertain myself with my phone. WTH ! so bobian luhs , she too tired lerhs. i at there zilian with my phone luhs. took retarded pics. hahas ! too sians lerhs lahs. hahas. then 4 plus AM , i went in tuh bath , cos i gotta wash my working uniform , if not today jiu cant wear tuh work lerhs. after that , went out again tuh wake her up. then sent her tuh my house there derhs bus stop. pei her wait for bus. then go home slp liaos. i also very tired lerhs siahs. what th hell.

Today ,

woke up at 2 plus PM. then went tuh brush teeth then eat my lunch. Mom bought Beehoon :D after eating , msg Vivian and she told me that my romance wanna break up with me becos of Cindy. Haish. idk what tuh say abt LOVE lerhs lahs. wanna give up lerhs. WO TOU XIANG ! Why , just went i have told myself tuh let go of Cindy , & that i already have KQ , so I must focus more on her , then this kinda thing crop out derhs? KQ is th one i have always put hope & trust on , & tot would not hurt me , & yet i heard all these from Vivian, saw what other SGH girl write one th blog that KQ like YANPING. wth is this? Even my only hope for LOVE is fading away. what else can i do? yeahs , ppl asked me tuh ignore th both KQ & Cindy , & be back tuh my old self who everyday go sch , after sch play bball , go library study then go home. but i was like this already , when i was still going on fine with KQ. why does everything just changed? haish. i really dont noe what tuh say lerhs. ppl ask me tuh go find new girl , Cindy & KQ are not th only girls on earth. but I DON'T WANT ! I dont want tuh find any girls , i dont want anyone. i just wan a girl who TRULY love me , understand me , accept me for whoever i am , & will never let me go , is that so difficult? can someone just understand, that i just need a girl who TRULY LOVE me , & would not hurt me ? haish. im really very tired lerhs. im speechless too...

after that , i called jonas and she scolded me. she said alot of things , alot alot of things... haish. why cant ppl just try tuh understand me , & try putting themselves in my shoe and think for me. how would they feel? No one understand me , NO ONE ! im sick and tired of all these. really , im just tuh tired tuh carry on. haish. after toking tuh Jonas , i went out tuh my house nearby derhs staircase and slack , fag , plus emo emo awhile. alot of things just went through my mind. idk what tuh say. I just need someone who will LOVE me th way i want tuh be LOVED , & NOT someone who lets go of me so easily. seriously , no one noes what i exactly want , and how i was feeling all along.

Now , im at th lan shop , cos my bro using th com. I'm going tuh work real soon , immediately after im done with my blogging. im running out of time lerhs , & money too. shall blog till here bahs. take care peeps.

2009-10-11T00:06:00.002+08:00

Jin Hong kena SABO by us till so jialat siahs ! hahas. FUN RIGHT? HAHAHAHAHAS ! *EVIL*

2009-10-10T23:48:00.004+08:00

just reached home. now is 12AM. today morning woke up at 9plus AM. then went nua at my bed till 11plus PM. then eat breakfast. after that i went tuh clean up my house abit luhs. then bath lerhs jiu go tam meet Chris , Val , they all at TM luhs. then slack slack , walk walk luhs. Keith was there too. & i managed tuh sort everything out btwn me and her face tuh face lerhs. so now me and Keith okays liaos. Val & Chris hughug infront of me , & i was quite sot lahs. so i just pull Chris tuh one corner toktok luhs. kan bu xia qu lahs. then we went tuh Keith's working place at TM basement. then they toktok with her while me & Chris tok cock at one corner. LOL ! BRO , thanks for acc me yeahs? hahas. HALF HOUR DERHS ! xD then after that i went tuh work at 6PM lerhs luhs. worked till 10 plusPM. then just reached home. hehe. today whole day only received ONE msg from "her". Dx nvm , life still goes on. & i believe without her , i still can move on with my life. anw , i'll just flirt ard bahs. no point being so serious. haish. really giving up on LOVE lerhs. too hurting liaos. & i can take it no more.

Today is my colleague Jin Hong derhs bday and we forked out $5 per person for his bday. =.= then just now he kena sabo by us till very jialat siahs. hahas. later shall upload th pics taken just now. hahas. gtg. take care everyone.

~im trying tuh smile , even though my heart is crying. cos i noe , i gotta be strong , & move on without you in my life~

Break down , Breaking down , Broke down , Broken down !

2009-10-09T20:34:00.004+08:00

just finished bathing. got tuh noe that i sent wrong msg tuh cindy then just now just replied her msg & she called in. felt happy tuh receive her call actually , but , th moment she say "hello" , i sense smth bad lerhs. she toked tuh me in a angry tone. & i was like KONG HUAN XI YI CHANG =/ had some kind of quarrel lahs. th way she toked tuh me like shit. sighs. called jonas and related tuh her. she told me alot of things. & now i roughly noe why "she" suddenly treat me this way. im having alot of mixture of feelings right now. sad , broken , depressed , pain , angry , happy , etc etc lahs. so readers , be prepared tuh hear me nag again, but this time round's nagging , gonna be VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD !

today is th 091009 , which is th 1 year 1 month anni. but this shit happened. really , i dont noe why out of all th days , must be this day siahs. its like TONG SHANG JIA TONG lahs ! this time derhs post , im being very honest , straightforward and anything you think i am. when "she" just dc , i was waiting for her tuh call me. noe why? partly becos of her letter she wrote tuh me before i dc. & when she call me , i was indeed very happy ! slowly , i went tuh meet her , but at that point of time , i dont really tot of wan tuh FU CHU so much for her anymore derhs. so i admit that i was indeed selfish towards her at that point of time. then th first time i met her after she dc , was with jonas , and that was how she noe jonas. jonas kept encouraging me tuh GAN GAN QU AI "ta" if i still love her. at first , i dint really tot of wan tuh FU CHU even after jonas first few encouragement. cos at that point of time , i was thinking , "who noes she will hurt me again or not , what if i give her all den when she leave me , i lose all? & im left with nothing ! Is she worth it? Will I regret if I really start tuh FU CHU? It isnt fair tuh KQ ..........." then slowly me and "her" became close , kept meeting , almost everyday also meet , but i must say that thats also becos JONAS helped me lahs. thks. then came tuh she run away from home , i tried my best tuh help her lerhs , i gave everything i can lerhs. maybe what i have given is not really alot tuh her , but it meant alot tuh me. ever since she run home , becos of helping her , my life changed. really , th changes are obvious. pretty obvious. before she enter my life again , my life was very simple , after sch play bball or go library study with my meimei Clara , 7-8plus PM reached home. then weekends work , sometimes meet my fren. thats it , simple life right? but after she enter my life , everything just changed. in addition , she run home. more stress for me. i everyday go sch , spend money also $1 - $2 , th rest i will buy things for her tuh eat , i very late then go home , i everyday also go down find her , no matter at WEST or at jonas house, rs btwn me and my mom get worst, i was even caned by her can , i spent alot of money within days, i was often late for work , i slept very late every night becos of toking on th phone with her, affected my next day performance in sch , kept dozing off in class, im so broke right now although my payday was like a week ago. all these sacrifices in less than a month's time still not enough?!?!?! and they all still can say i selfish AFTER i have done all these???? really very sot siahs. although i did all these things, but i did it out of my LOVE for her , on my own will. i tried my best tuh help her , love her th way she wanted tuh be loved , be there for her whenever i can , let her feel loved and pampered , make her happy lerhs. i did so many things for her , but i have never asked for anything in return except just her LOVE , i just wanted her tuh love me th way i loved her. from what i see , i treated her better than how her frens treated her & yet she treated me worse than how she treat a NORMAL fren like jonas. jonas say "she" treat me worse than a fren is becos "she" has once loved me deeply. so this is th way she treat someone who she once loved deeply? why is it like so opposite derhs uhs? when she is upset , she use laughters tuh cover up her tears , & never wanna show it out tuh me. its not that i dint approach her , i did , but she would always be saying that she is fine. ppl kip saying that i very selfish , only think abt myself & not for "her" , BUT i did thought for her , tried tuh put myself into her shoes & feel how she felt , but what else can i do besides listening tuh her rants , think of ways tuh help her out , & even try tuh help her within my capability. & ppl still can say that im selfish & never think for her , i did , but who think for me? not even "she". "she" ever told me that she love me , but i dont tink she got tink for me luhs. cos if "she" did , she wouldnt have asked me tuh call her late at night becos i next day have tuh go sch , "she" would have spent her money WISELY , etcetc lahs. "she" only told me that"she" loved me , but when im with her , i've never felt her love. yes , i admit that i was afraid that she might fall for jonas , but i trust jonas. for this , i cant say that i trust "her" becos of too many factors. but , i cant say that i doubt her too lahs. cos i have no reason tuh. she had asked me tuh trust her , but all i can say is that TRUST is NOT for me tuh give but for her tuh EARN. so far , i cant say that i dont trust her , yes i do trust her , but not that much lahs. as th saying goes , " th person who you find th most difficult tuh trust , is th person who you love th most " . ppl told me that she toked tuh XiaoHao for hours. how that person noe? obviously its becos that person witnessed it lahs ! & does anyone ever think of how i will feel after hearing that? dont say a bung lahs , a guy hear ppl like that say of th girl he love also will feel one kind derhs lahs hor. but i also tahan lerhs , i never mention anything abt it. becos of her , i let go of kelle , becos of her , i nearly let go of KQ too. becos i noe i still love her. i used tuh hate her , i used tuh love her , now , i really dont noe how should i feel abt her lerhs. im very tired lerhs. my heart is hurting now. & it hurts badly... how i crave for alcohol tuh numb th pain now... i dont wanna think , but i just cant help it. my mind , my heart , my body , my soul , all also very tired liaos. seriously they are exhausted. as what i have dread for , HURT , is how i feel now. her words and th way she treated me cuts me like a knife. im just so afraid tuh love anyone anymore. heart almost dead lerhs. ytd , when was in th train , she used my hp tuh call/msg XiaoHao. i have tuh day that i was indeed very sot lahs. use MY PHONE tuh msg/call HIM lehs ! give who in my position also sot lahs. then some msgs i tink she deleted lerhs bahs. i also dont noe lahs. but i never say anything lahs infront of her ytd , but th poor bro of mine , Chris , listened tuh my KP. Ps lehs. One of she sent tuh XiaoHao derhs msg says that "she" tonight will call him. so ytd night "she" never call me like how she always does , and she no msgs nothing , thats when i recalled tuh th msg that she sent XiaoHao that"she" will call him. thats why i msg XiaoHao & asked him tuh ask "her" tuh call me. then this morning when i at chalet , she called me and used a very FUCKUP tone tuh tok tuh me. she ask me why i look for her till i must ask find till her frens tuh noe where is she. & XiaoHao seems tuh have helped me tell her that im looking for her lerhs. in my heart , i tink , " wahs, so fast Xiaohao tell her lerhs uhs? that means that "she" often contact Xiaohao lahs? wtf ! " but i never say anything out tuh her lahs. i will feel so jealous / dulan when she contact Xiaohao is also becos wo ZAI HU her & she has not given me any assurance. i dont feel secured, i DONT , even though im a bung , a bung needs a sense of security too. i never have th courage tuh tell her all these that im writing in my blog now , NEVER ! cos i find it hard tuh relate my probs & everything tuh her. & always, even when she show me attitude or whatever , i give in tuh her becos i dont wan have any quarrel with her. but today , just now , i just burst out , maybe becos i have done too much of thinking and could take it no more.

jiu blog till here lerhs. thanks for listening tuh my KP. take care readers. im really tired lerhs now. eyes dropping, probably becos just now cried too much lerhs bahs. haish.

2009-10-09T18:11:00.002+08:00

Pictures taken on Wed , at th chalet. hahas. FUN DAY :))

2009-10-09T17:05:00.002+08:00

Wed ,

went tuh katherine's bday & she got sabo ! hahas ! at first when me and Chris reached there in th afternooon , there very little ppl , very sian. then nth tuh do , we fag fag , tok tok , & play poker cards luhs. then at night got more ppl come lerhs , then we happening happening abit lerhs luhs. hahas. ate BBQ chicken wings. :DD fooled around with Chris & co. hahas. then sang bday song & cut th cake at abt 8plus PM. hahas. took pics tgt with katherine , Chris , Monkey :D some pics in my hp now , some in their camera. shall get th pics from them & post it when i can yeahs. :D went home at abt 10 PM like that. hahas. reached home lerhs , jiu bath , then go slp lerhs.

Thurs ,

paper finished at 10. then trained down tuh CCK tuh meet cindy. after that pei her go buy her things , then we trained down tuh jurong east tuh wait for Chris tuh come. then tgt trained down tuh city hall tuh meet jonas and jia yuan. & then we go eat SUBWAY , AGAIN ! LOL ! after eating , go fag fag , walk walk at MS. Jonas , Jiayuan & cindy went off tuh gym at abt 3plus. then me and Chris went tuh buy thing eat at 7-11 & she bought Pocky for Joanna. LOL! waited for Joanna tuh come till abt 5 PM. then we pei her eat , slack & fag till abt 6PM like that , me and Chris trained down tuh pasir ris , bused down tuh downtown east tuh katherine's chalet again. LOL! reached th chalet at abt 7plus PM. hahas. then slack slack at th chalet derhs room , enjoying th aircon. LOL. me and monkey "RAPE" katherine on th bed. hahas ! cos inside th room , only got 3 bungs ( Me , Chris & Monkey ) , & girls ( Katherine , Valerie , Ah Yi's GF ). so me and monkey go "RAPE" Katherine. hahas. BUT is JOKING derhs RAPE lahs. so readers , DONT anyhow think. LOL. but Chris is th only "DECENT" bung sitting at there watch show niahs. ACT ONE DECENT ONLY luhs. HALF HOUR derhs ! hahas. PEACE\/ my "CHEST" kena beat by those girls siahs , katherine , valerie , Ahyi's GF , Joanna & th rest i forgot lerhs lahs. poor "CHEST" of mine. then , Monkey went down tuh dancedance. hahas. while Ah Yi and his girlfriend came in th room. they two couple slp on th bed , while me , Valerie & Chris slp on th floor derhs matteress. then i helped tuh off light &.... hahahas ! for me tuh noe for you tuh find out ! heh heh. me & Chris left th chalet at abt 9plus PM. Chris followed me tuh take bus 17 back home. hahas. thanks arghs bro ! :DD reached home at abt 10plusPM. then went tuh bath lerhs , msgmsg , jiu slp liaos.

Today ,

paper ended at 8:30, then after that i go eat , then bused down tuh th chalet again. reached th chalet at abt 10AM. then at there slack slack with Valerie & Chris. found out something , while i was lying beside Valerie when she is msging. dont wanna say it here , but , just felt kinda disappointed lahs. dont noe her lahs. only have 3 words for Valerie , NOT WORTH IT ! stayed at th chalet till abt 3PM , then bused home lerhs.

yeahs yeahs , havent had enough of sleep nowadays. Zzz ~ finally my papers are over lerhs ! HAPPY , but also SCARED at th same time. dont noe how badly i will do for th papers. =S haish. things between me and HER , im very speechless lerhs. haish. recently found that her attitude towards me is like so FUCK UP. idk lahs. ytd , she dint msg me at night , dint call me , unlike how she usually does. tried tuh ask her frens where is she , but.. haish. nvm lahs. i dont noe what tuh say some more lerhs lahs. maybe its time for me tuh really let go of her bahs? i dont wish tuh , but i guess , i cant do anything lerhs bahs. i'm tired lerhs. i have tuh say that its NOT easy tuh let go & give up , but i will kip on trying. i have been trying very hard not tuh think of her , not tuh care so much abt her when i was in th chalet. i was trying , but i have always been failing tuh do so. i must admit that ytd i was very sot with her , becos she used my hp tuh msg/call HIM. its not that i dont trust her , but i recently realise that she always call & msg HIM. haish. up tuh her lahs, im no one tuh say anything. shall end my post here lerhs bahs. hmms , i gonna upload th pics taken at th chalet on Wed , that is now in my hp. take care everyone.

~I'm sorry , I have tried my best tuh love you th way you wanted tuh be loved, but i seemed not tuh be able tuh do it , I'm sorry ~

2009-10-07T13:06:00.002+08:00

YESTERDAY ,

after sch trained down tuh clementi tuh find cindy. then met her at clementi MRT platform then we trained down from clementi tuh city hall tuh meet jonas and jiayuan. went tuh eat subway with jiayuan , jonas and cindy again. SUBWAY SUBWAY SUBWAY ! hahahas. then after eating , cindy went tuh meet weetan at novena. then left me , jonas and jiayuan. liting called me and i told her everything that she needs tuh noe. jonas told us that she wanna break up with liting lerhs. haish. nowadays derhs couple got so many probs derhs luhs. cant even enjoy a smooth rs derhs siahs. NBCB ! suck cock lahs. then me and jiayuan walk walk ard MS while jonas is on th phone with liting, trying tuh clear things out btwn th both of them. so left me and jiayuan there tuh entertain each other with our own typical nonsense. HAHAHAS ! we follow jonas wherever she walk. retarded right? scared she might go missing mahs. LOL ! she was very sad also lahs. this we all also can tell lahs. she broke up with liting lerhs mahs. i noe she still love her derhs lahs , just that alot of factors made her say th word break up. haish. BUATOH , i understand how you feel. jiayou ok? anything feel free tuh look me up :D DONT LET GIRLS BRING US DOWN. :)) then me jiayuan and jonas trained down from city hall tuh YEW TEE tuh take things from liting frens. it was her one month anni letter. then after that we went tuh a shopping mall and seat down and read th letter. then after that went tuh eat at one japan restaurant. i dont noe what name lerhs lahs. but i never eat. i just bought a tub of ICE CREAM and eat niahs:DD broke lerhs lahs. T.T then went tuh buy 3 mashed potatoes from seven eleven. 2 for her , and 1 for myself luhs :D she love potatoes and so do i :D then slack slack awhile at th void deck there fool around, this and that lahs. then went tuh take train home lerhs luhs. reached home at abt 9plus PM. thats late lahs. then went down tuh buy things for my bro and myself tuh eat. then bath lerhs jiu slp liaos.

TODAY ,

had SS and CHEM papers. DISAPPOINTED with myself, i dint finish my CHEM paper. still got more than half of it havent complete yet T.T dozed off when half way throught th paper. DDDDDDx i worked hard for it lerhs lehs. i got study and put in alot of effort in studies derhs lehs. and all these happened. on th most impt day , i fall aslp . NOT JUST ONCE some more , every paper i also got slp derhs lehs. WTF am i doing siahs ???!!! arghs ~! nowadays so damn fucking stressed up DDDDDx after my paper, i immediately went tuh find my form teacher and told her everything abt it but she also cant help me. felt so depressed luhs. half of th paper i dint do lehs, lost so many marks lahs ! T.T if i never slp , i sure can do much better derhs luhs. haish. studied hard for nothing. for SLEEP ! WHAT TH FUCK !!! after that , went tuh eat at my sch canteen. ate alot , ate POTATOES SALAD , RICE ! eat and eat and eat ! my life came crashing nowadays. i wasnt like this in th past. ever since... aiyahs , dont noe lahs. all my fault , thats all i can say bahs. dont wanna blame anyone else. yeahs, its all my fucking fault. next yr O'lvl lerhs , no more fooling ard mans. gonna work extra hard lerhs. and most importantly , NO MORE SLEEPING during EXAMS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! shall blog off here lerhs. gg tuh bath and go for katherine derhs bday chalet lerhs. meeting my new bung fren , chris also :D bringing her along. take care peeps. now everything is done , all i can do is tuh be prepared for th worst and pray for th best. pray for me too please. thanks.

2009-10-05T21:16:00.002+08:00

Pic taken on friday , saturday , & today :D

2009-10-05T20:52:00.002+08:00

TODAY ,

had maths paper 1 and geog paper. wahs , hard siahs ! scared that i might do badly for th papers DD: after sch , went tuh grandlink tuh meet up with jonas , yimin , cindy , SOCK TING ( BIG BIRD ) , jiayuan they all. hahas. then saw my BEAR & aeslyn they all there too :DD miss them siahs ! xD then went tuh slack and fag. played in th rain , and almost everywhere i go , i laughed here and there. hahas. trying tuh make myself happy and save th awkwardness luhs. then we went tuh sing K. sang till i burst out again. T.T sang AN JING , WOBUPEI , HURT SO BAD and idk lerhs lahs. yeahs. then me , jonas , cindy and BIG BIRD bused down tuh PARKWAY tuh eat at subway. treated BIG BIRD eat, but next time she gonna treat me eat back :D actually wasnt hungry lahs , just that mouth very itchy , just wanna stuff myself with food , food and food ! OMG , gonna gain a few more KG lerhs T.T now , im bankrupt again lerhs. T.T FUCK ! dont like bankrupt derhs feeling lahs Dx back tuh my story , walked walked ard PP , and then bused home lerhs luhs. reached home at abt 8PM. tired lerhs. then here i am lerhs luhs. BLOGGING :D okays lahs. shall end here lerhs tmr still got paper. so tonight gonna slp early mans. take care peeps. * SECRET : I HAVENT BATH YET * hahas ! gonna go bath lerhs lahs. BYE :D

2009-10-04T23:55:00.002+08:00

FRIDAY ,

zhao skul , cos got mc :D then met jonas at aljunied mrt. tgt trained down tuh boonlay and meet MI TANG at jurong point :D then slack slack , walk walk , fag fag at ard jurong point till 11plus AM. then trained down from boonlay tuh aljunied then bused down tuh jonas sch tuh meet jonas frens. then meet lerhs , clack slack , joke around , play and make fun , here and there , then we all bused down tuh tam. in th bus , we still carry on playing , blown bubbles , purposely block ppl's way ( thats YIMIN'S hobby ) , YIMIN is so FUNNY lahs , I like tuh play with her siahs. make me laugh like i never did. hahas. next time sad must meet her and ask her tuh cheer me up liaos :DD raeched tam , we went tuh pei shuting eat , then walk walk , & went tuh meet KAT at th salon. :DD miss her mans. so long never meet her lerhs. hahas. this coming wed is her bday liaos. hahas. gonna go for her chalet :D then after that , me , jonas and MI TANG trained down all th way tuh OUTRAM tuh go collect things from their frens. then trained down back tuh tam tuh collect my pay. reached tam at ard 5 PLUS PM , but have tuh wait till 6 like that then can get my bloody pay Dx get pay lerhs , we went tuh eat at subway. MY TREATS :D spent over $20 at subway ): then KAT came tuh meet us , so bought her cookies :) then MI TANG left tuh meet her mom at CCK there alone. & was fucking worried abt her , scared her mom may call th police or murder her. cos they meet up at a very secluded place. so was very very very very very worried abt her. waited for her msg tuh report safe tuh me. waited till 10PM like that then she called me , and i was much more relieved :) then tok tok awhile then i slp lerhs Z.Z

SATURDAY,

woke up at 10plus AM. then bath lerhs jiu go out lerhs. cos IT WAS SUPPOSINGLY ME AND MI TANG DERHS DATE DERHS ! planned tuh watch movie with her , then go eat with her alone derhs. say lerhs mahs , ITS OUR DATE mahs. BUT everything just went like shit. I HATE PLANNING things lerhs lahs next time. D: trained down tuh city hall then walked tuh SUNTEC tuhs see th time slots for PHOBIA2. th next show was 5:15 PM so i cant watch cos i got work at 6pm. so i never buy th tickets luhs. DISAPPOINTED !! then met JONAS at SUNTEC. Liting dint come out , so she very sad, & celebrate ONE MONTH ANNI alone. Poor buatoh. cheer up ok? she will be out soon derhs lahs. PATIENCE ! :D then , walked back tuh city hall MRT tuh meet MI TANG at th control station there. then tgt trained down tuh orchard. intended tuh watch PHOBIA2 at orchard derhs. but shits happened & dint get tuh watch until any movie. we walked ard WISMA & realised that there was no cinemas there. so decided tuh walk over tuh cine tuh see th time slots. but jonas dont wanna follow , she wanna go TCC eat. then she asked me and MI TANG tuh go watch movie ourselves. BUT i asked her tuh follow us watch lerhs , she say she no money tuh watch. but MI TANG said that she dont like tuh PANGSEH her frens derhs. then she no mood tuh watch movie with me liaos , and kinda raised voice at me ))x so reluctantly , we walked ard tuh find CINE. cant find. then she called her frens and ask her tuh check abt th movie. but no time slot suits us. so nvm , she say she wanna go home lerhs. WTF?! supposed tuh be OUR DATE lehs and all these shits happened ?!?! that time raining some more , more DULAN mans. becos she dont wanna PS jonas , she no mood tuh watch movie lerhs , this I UNDERSTAND & i also dont wanna PS her , but jonas no money watch with us i also BOBIAN mahs. then rain , then NO MOVIE tuh watch , then she raised voice at me , wahs , DULAN and FRUSTRATED mans ! so face was black all th way. but after awhile i was ok lerhs lahs. went tuh find jonas at TCC. then ordered a HAZELNUTELLA LATTE at TCC , it was very ex lahs cans. $10 per cup siahs. can die uhs, but NICE okays ! hahas :D then went tuh fag , and went tuh buy something for KAT'S bday present ^^ after that , brought MI TANG and jonas tuh eat at pasta cafe. MY TREATS again. wahs , spent over $36 on th food & jonas' drink. bankrupt liaos siahs. after eating , bought 2 tubs of ice cream at cold storage for myself and MI TANG :D I LOVE ICE CREAMS :DD then went tuh work at 5:30 PM. worked till 10 plus then i went tuh meet jonas and MI TANG at my house there derhs 7-11. intended tuh drink tgt derhs. and also tok everything out. was feeling very MOODY ~.~ then we bought 2 long cans of CARLSBERG & 2 normal cans of CARLSBERG and walked tuh my house downstairs drink and toked whatever i felt out , kinda burst out lahs. drank 1long can and 2 normal cans till i abit seh , cos i dragged. but i still noe what i was doing lahs , just that i felt very heavy and cant control my own actions. just walk here and there and laughed everywhere. was very heartbroken when jonas say that me and MI TANG derhs thing just end there infront of th both of us. & tears just flowed down. really dont wanna let her go & yet was forced tuh. T.T &finally plucked up th courage tuh tell her things i never have th courage tuh tell her , face tuh face somemore ! MI TANG went tuh buy 1 bottle of cold th mineral water and jonas pour it on me tuh make me cheh , & was wet all over. i was cheh but still felt heavy. then slept awhile at th chair. woke up by jonas again. Dx tired siahs. having headache and i accidentally knocked until my lips swollen. PAIN siahs. till now still got abit swollen luhs. then slack with them till 6plus in th morning , they dont let me slp siahs, wth ! then they went tuh take cab home. MI TANG went tuh jonas house for th night. cos she has nowhere tuh go for th night lerhs. then i went home tuh bath and slp lerhs luhs.

TODAY ,
woke up at 3PM. then called MI TANG and tok tuh her on th phone. then online awhile jiu go prepare tuh go work lerhs. worked at 6PM. till 10PM. wahs , tired & hungry siahs. X.X after work , got one of my colleague EUGENE treat me eat ICE CREAMS :DD cos was damn super hungry D: then went tuh buy roti tuh eat at breadtalk. then came back home lerhs luhs.

tmr got maths and geog paper. so i gotta go now. take care everyone and i hope i can do well in all my exams. peeps , do pray for me yeahs? thanks ^^ nights !

2009-10-01T20:48:00.001+08:00

ME ! Taken today when was at bedok polyclinic waiting for th doc. wahahas. im NOT zilian okays. LOL :D

2009-10-01T18:37:00.002+08:00

TODAY ,

dint go tuh sch. cos ytd slept at 1AM then this morning cant get up D: & also having headache and flu Dx fuck shit siahs. i hate FLU luhs ! so mafan. arghs ! went tuh bedok polyclinic see doc at 11plus AM. siannn~ wear that stupid mask until my face cant even breathe properly luhs. wth ~ then left polyclinic at abt 12PM. bused down tuh my sch tuh pass my form teacher th MC * wait for WENSHAN tuh dismiss. saw my DM Ms Lim at th general office there and she KAOPEI me again for wearing home clothes tuh sch. WTF ? irritating lahs she. cannot stand her mans. so many comments abt me derhs luhs. catch this catch that , my hair , my uniform , basically EVERYTHING ! HATE HER MANS =/ then pei WENSHAN take bus tuh bedok inter tuh wait for WENYA and JOJO tuh come. went tuh eat with them but i never eat. hehe , DIET =X eat lerhs , slack slack , fag fag then bused home at abt 5PM. so thats abt it. and here i am , at th lan shop now. SIANNN lahs. tmr going down tuh my workplace tuh collect my pay. :DD gonna buy alot of thing luhs. stressed lahs. soon , i gonna go bankrupt again T.T

well, MI TANG derhs thing getting better lerhs :DD she found a stable house and soon a stable job lerhs. :DD happy for her. much more relieved lerhs ^^ hope she wont stress this stress that lerhs lahs. DONT LIKE tuh see her stressed up and sad. hope she will stay strong always :DD

Girl , ytd i must say that im really very pissed off with you. & im sry if i tok tuh you in a harsh tone ytd. felt very pekcek ytd mahs. & you huh, dont make other ppl wry abt you lerhs can? many of us care abt you derhs, ESP ME ! understand? well, glad that you found a stable hse liaos. must really thank your fren mans. :D anw , no matter what , you listen up , YOU CANNOT BREAK DOWN ! GET IT??!! dont disappoint us. anything , dont just face it alone , rmb , you always have us standing by you derhs, ESP EMERSON ! cos you noe how much i dote on you derhs. :DD take care and dont hesitate tuh approach me if you need any help, although i cant promise you that i can help you in everything , but i wil deifnitely try my best tuh. UNDERSTAND ? Girl , ILOVEYOU !

shall end here lerhs. dad's waiting for me at th coffee shop. =X later gonna upload some pics here. so see you later. take care :D